Ridgell's Originals

Don't rush baptism

2012-01-24T14:54:00.000-08:00

Reasons why I do not believe in infant baptism:

Baptism is an act of faith. It is something you choose, not something chosen for you. Adults can choose. Babies can't.

Baptism is a conscious decision to choose the Holy Spirit lifestyle as opposed to the spirit of flesh lifestyle. Adults understand the battle between good and evil. Babies do not even know good and evil.

Baptism is being crucified with Christ. It is the ultimate denial of self to follow Jesus. Adults can process that decision. Babies cannot even understand selfishness vs. selflessness.

Baptism results in a new life free from the guilt of sin. Adults know they have made conscious sinful choices. Babies cannot process intentional and deliberate choices.

I should make it clear that I do not believe in original sin. I do not believe that babies are born unsaved due to the sin Adam. But if you belive that, and you realize that Scripture teaches baptism for forgiveness of sins, you would baptize your babies. And that is your church history lesson for today. Emphasis on forgiveness and be saved part of baptism, not on the faith decision to follow Jesus as Lord part.

So I believe in adult baptism and not infant baptism. What does that have to do with the question of baptizing our kids? Our kids grow from babies to adults physically, emotionally, mentally. Good parenting recognizes that there is a growth process to make decisions in those areas as they mature. It is true spiritually also.

So we need to be wise, prayerful parents as we mature our kids spiritually to be able to make the one great decision of their life. And that decision is what they will do personally about Jesus.

Remember that your kids are holy because of your faith, so do get overly stressed with the whole forgiveness of sins. Don't let them make a decision they are not yet mature enough to make.

So what's the big deal about my kid getting baptized

2012-01-13T11:58:00.000-08:00

I shared in my last blog that I beleive children of believers are holy. so if they are not lost, and if they really do not have a major conversion experience, what is the big deal about baptism?

I think part of our angst and worry over our kid's getting baptized stems from an over emphasis on one aspect of baptism. We have strongly stressed the forgiveness of sins almost to the exclusion of everything else. Because we have often failed to realize that our children are holy because of our faith in Jesus, we stress over when they will be baptized and have their sins forgiven. Which leads to very young children being baptized because they know they do wrong things and they know Jesus died for our sins, and they know baptism is for forgiveness of sins... so they get baptized.

I do believe my kids sins were forgiven -- past and future sins -- when they were baptized. That forgiveness is now based on their relationship with Jesus and not their parent's relationship with Jesus. But there is much more to baptism that is virtually impossible for a young child to process.

I believe baptism is an act of faith. And of course the faith of children is greater than ours in so many ways. But the faith of a child is also innocent. Life is good and things always turn out good. Mature faith sees a hard world and says that I believe God works anyway.

But baptism is also where we are crucified with Christ. It is a death and resurrection. It is an act of self denial and a pledge to God that our life is now His. This is a difficult proposition for a little child to process, much less buy into. It is hard for we adults to live out this concept, but that is a different task than understanding the concept.

Baptism is where we recieve the Holy Spirit to help us in the process of moving from a life of slavery to sin to slavery to righteousness. There has to be some ability to process that.

The big deal about baptism is for a child growing up to move away from the spiritual walk of their parent's and set out on their own spiritual journey. It is more than knowing the facts. It is more than loving Jesus. It is more than wanting to always live for him. It is being able to process to some extent what that means in life.

And in a future post, I'll share more about how to -- and not to -- help your child know when to make the decision to be crucified with Christ.

Your kids are NOT lost...

2012-01-11T14:24:00.000-08:00

Children raised in a Christian home are different. They really do not have conversion experiences. I don't believe they go from darkness to light. I do not believe there is a moment when they become a believer. I do not even believe children in Christian homes go from saved to lost to saved again.

I was raised in a Christian home and I do not remember learning about Jesus. I always knew about Jesus. I don't remember a time when I did not believe in Jesus. I have always loved Jesus. I acknowledge that I have matured in my faith. I have grown in what it means to love Jesus. But I hope those things are still going on in my life. But my spiritual insights and life altering experieces all came as someone who loved Jesus. Not someone who discovered him.

I think this experience was true for my kids and I see it happening with my grandkids. I think this pattern is generally true for everyone I know raised by Christian parents.

I believe children with Christian parents are holy because of their parent's faith. I believe this because it is what the Bible teaches. In I Corinthians 7 Paul talks about Christians and marriage. He explains that if one spouse becomes a Christian, and the other does not, that the home is still sanctified. It is a Christian home. I do not think this means the non-believing spouse is saved, but the home is sanctified. In verse 14, he mentions that the children are holy. He does not say sanctified. He says holy.

But what about sin? You may accept this with innocent babies, but what about when my child starts knowing right from wrong and does the wrong? They are holy. Those sins are forgiven just like yours. Holy. You are holy because of your faith in Jesus. And that extends to you kids.

So I am convinced children in Christian homes are holy because of the parent's faith.

Which leads to two more questions. When does this change? When the child leaves home ... or arrives at the stage of life where they are adults. In a later post, I will talk more specifically about this.

So what does this mean for my child and their baptism? What about sin and forgiveness?

There comes a time in our children's growing up when they will make their own decision to follow Jesus. When that time comes, their sins are forgiven, they are saved, they are holy because of their faith in Jesus. Before they are forgiven, saved, holy because of the faith of Mom and Dad.

The destination is the same, but now it will be a path they choose to follow and not just the one that their family has chosen. Saved by the faith their parents have in Jesus. Then saved by the faith they have in Jesus. They are not lost in between.

So children's faith developement is a safe, joyful experience. Not one full of angst, worry, and panic. They are secure, safe, and holy. Just as you are. Your job is not to "save" them. It is to transition them from your faith to faith of their own.

Jake is 6 today...

2012-01-09T14:15:00.000-08:00

Today is Jake's birthday. He is Julie and Bobby's oldest, my second grandchild (Anna beat him by five months), and my first grandson. Every grandparent loves their grandkids and are proud of them. But I think it is important that they know some of the reasons why we love them and are proud of them. So here goes...

Jake loves God. He likes going to church. He wants to give his own money to help kids around the world. He memorizes Scripture. He sings praise songs. He wants to tell people about Jesus. He prays for all of his family but especially for Pops when I am out preaching.

He loves his family. I don't just mean his parents and grandparents, but he loves his great grandparents. He talks about them and prays for them. He loves his cousins. Anna is his buddy and he talks about how important it is to teach Andrew and Austin about how to be a big boy.

He adores his sister. We told him we would take him out to eat for his birthday. His first question was if Avery could come too. He is protective of her. I love that when I asked him what he wanted for Christmas, he said he wanted to buy a present for Avery.

I love that he wants to help Ms. Rita who lives down the street. She goes to church with us and he reminds me that she needs him to be her friend because her husband, Mr. John, has already gone to heaven.

He likes to shake hands with Mr. Don at church. Mr. Don has the land behind Jake's house.

He likes to high five Ms. Joyce and the ladies that sit behind us at church.

So he has good people skills, he really likes people, he treats everyone well, and he loves God.

I think he will help a lot of people to know Jesus better. Including his Pops.

So Jake I love you and I am proud of you. God is going to do amazing things thru you.

Children and the kingdom...

2012-01-04T14:13:00.000-08:00

I have been doing a lot of thinking about kids that grow up in Christian homes and how they come to be believers. I was raised in a Christian home and went to church all of my life. I do not remember a time I did not love God and Jesus. I could even process at a fairly young age what to do to become a Christian. I remember vividly the Sunday morning I realized that Jesus died for my sins and that it was time for a personal decision. I talked to my parents after church and was baptized that night.

I have raised two children in church. I prayed for their spiritual development and had the honor of baptizing them both into Christ. I still remember the discussions we had about that decision. I also remember being asked about it when they were much younger. They are both faithful Christians today. I am watching them raise my five grandkids and seeing how they manage their spiritual growth.

As an elder, I get asked a lot of questions about kids and their spiritual developement. Here are some of the questions I get and some of the thinking behind them.

My child is asking about being baptized. If I say no, what if they never ask again? What is too young to be baptized, especially since they know the reason for being baptized? And at what age should I start worrying if they have not been baptized?

Which leads to questions about sin and the "age of accountability". Are our kids saved, then lost, and then saved again? And what do they have to know and believe to be baptized? Is it enough to know some basic facts about Jesus and baptism -- facts which most five year olds raised in church can recite? What about baptism as a death? How about commitment? Is it enough to just love God (which most little kids do better than most adults in some ways)?

Can my son lead a prayer at church before he is baptized? Is he just like the non-baptized adult in our services?

How about communion? Is it just for baptized people? Is it anything but crackers and grape juice if you are not a Christian?

If you become a Christian by being baptized into Christ, and thus a member of his body, are non-baptized kids saved? So you can be saved outside the church?

How can you as an elder refuse to baptize my child?

I am going to spend the next few posts looking at some principles that I think help answer some of these questions.

I will look forward to your input.

What I am going to focus on this year...

2011-12-28T09:28:00.000-08:00

I hesitate to call these resolutions. My resolution is like Paul's: to know nothing but Christ and him crucified. And maybe I am getting old, but I really want to concentrate on two things this year in my personal ministry and as a shepherd. These are two things I am gifted at and well ... they are two things I care about. I am not saying other things are not important, but I am going to say no to some things.

I am going to share Jesus with lost people. I am passionate about teaching and sharing Jesus with those who do not know Him, or those who have not given their lives to Him. I am not going to commit to long term new convert care. I think that is important, and I am committed to the care of new spiritual babies. But I am not going to provide that care. I can find people to do that. And I will. But by temperment and talent, I am an evangelist. Others are good at ministering to new Christians and discipling them.

I am going to focus my shepherding on people in spiritual crisis. I am a "triage" elder. By temperment and talent I am drawn to Christians in crisis. But I am not going to commit to long term mentoring and shepherding. I will get them thru the emergency but hand them off for long term care. We have elders and others who are good at that.

So I think most of my personal ministry, my preaching, and my writing will be in these two areas -- either directly or by motivating or equipping others in these two areas.

I have several seminars on Sharing Our Story booked thru Herald of Truth for next year. I am developing a seminar on restoring Christians caught in sin. For those that ask me to do seminars, retreats, special Sundays, interim preaching... know that these are the things on my heart. I am going to finish the book on Can I Tell You a Story? -- it is about sharing your faith thru stories.

I am teaching the Fellowship North class at Southern Hills for the first part of the Spring (at least when I am in town) and we are studying James. But I notice in my prep I am heavy on these two topics. And James does say a lot about these.

So that is my thinking at this point for this year -- and probably the next ten years if God gives my strength and if He wills it. For me, life is too short for anything else. I am going to bring people to Jesus and I am going to fight Satan when he tries to take God's people back.

It is my heart. It is my calling. I do not want to get distracted from these.

Check with me in a couple of months and see how I am doing.

And now lessons from Malcolm's funeral...

2011-12-14T14:26:00.000-08:00

I know it seems as if all I do is post about funerals lately, but it seems that is all I do these days. I have helped do four funerals in the last month or so. Honored. Learning a lot. Yesterday was the funeral for Malcolm Herttenberger, Marsha's uncle. I could say a lot of great things about him, but I thought I would share what I learned from his funeral.

There is something special about churches in small towns. Everyone in that church brought something for the family lunch. Lots of people helping. Speaks well of Malcolm. Speaks well of them.

I like small towns in farming country. Yes, Malcolm was mayor of Rule for 14 years but that town turned out to remember one of its own.

John Greeson has preached in Rule for close to 40 years. He could have moved on many times. He stayed. His life is in that church and that town. I like that.

Family is a big deal. The Herttenberger clan is big and close. I like a family that adopts everybody into it. In-law's. In-law's relatives. Friends. Everyone is family. I like it. And yes, of course I am a Herttenberger because I married Marsha. Malcolm was sure proud of his son Lane. And Cathy. and the girls. And all of the nieces and nephews. Loved them all lots.

You can always come back home to Jesus. John and I both talked about Malcolm coming back to the Lord. He did it when his oldest grandchild was born. And there was no maybe about it. He was faithful and active for over twenty years. People need to know you can come home.

And I watched my parents -- well, Marsha's folks but they are my other set of parents -- and Marsha. Love the way they live out their faith. Loving and caring for family and each other. Being loved. Being Jesus.

Glad I got to pray several times with Malcolm and the family in the hospital and ICU. Made me stronger.

And glad I don't have to grieve like those who have no hope. I believe Malcolm lives. I believe I will see him again. And I'm glad. So I am encouraged to live faithful till I go home. Like him.

Why you always want to do the Jesus thing...

2011-12-09T12:11:00.000-08:00

I pulled up to my local pharmacy yesterday to get my annual Zpac -- and with a sore butt from my steroid shot. I noticed a car close by with the hood up and what appeared to be an older gentleman in it. Should have stopped to help, Holy Spirit kept working on me ... so on the way out I went over and asked if he needed help.

It was clear he was confused but said his car would not start. So I pulled my truck up on the sidewalk, got out my jumper cables, hooked us up, and jump started his car. He got out to thank me. He seemed vaguely familiar but since I think I know everybody I didn't really think much about it. When he thanked me I told him I was a Christian and that's what we do.

I asked if he went to church and he said he did but he had trouble getting the name right. He finally said it was Southern Hills. Oops.... that's where I am an elder. When I got him to tell me his name, I recognized it and of course knew why he seemed familiar.

About that time his wife showed up. He had called her and a friend brought her there. She got out and said "hi Steve".

So what do I learn from this? Well, maybe learn my flock better. Or maybe it is that I should always do the right thing because I may go to church with them. Or maybe even always listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Or maybe even pat myself on the back because now they think I'm a good guy.

But here's what I think. Always do the Jesus thing. No matter how you feel. It's who we are. It's who I am. And that's what we do. It wouldn't have mattered who he was. Maybe he could have been someone who was rude and not appreciative. Maybe he could have been someone I could lead to Jesus. Maybe he could have a Christian I didn't know and I helped a brother. Might have been an angel.

But he was one of my flock and that was a pretty neat bonus. So to Jud and Juana... glad I could help. That's what family is for.

I had a good time at Mattie B.'s funeral

2011-12-08T11:18:00.000-08:00

Mattie B. was 95 when she died on her way to get the morning paper. Still driving, living by herself, and in church every Sunday. I got to help with the funeral and it was fun. Here are some reasons why I love Mattie B. and had fun at her funeral.

... a few years ago someone dropped a communion tray and Matt said to scratch him from the list of potential pallbearers. The Sunday after she died someone dropped a tray. I think God and Mattie B. had something to do with it.

... she bought a big ol' Lincoln Contenental a couple of years ago. She wouldn't drive it downtown because she couldn't see over the hood.

... as an elder, I don't have many in my flock that I ask if they want to dance. But I did Matt. Every Sunday. She always said yes.

... she had a great conversion story. Her daughter was converted at 13. The night her daughter was baptized, Mattie B. decided she needed to also. About a year ago that story was told to the mother of a young lady we were baptizing. It inspired her to give her life to the Lord.

...we were part of her family. Close to her kids, grandkids, and their family. I guess we were not technically related, but we thought we were. It was Marsha and her Mom who went to tell Mattie B. the news of her grandson-in-law being killed in an oilfield accident. Close. Like family.

...she used to read her Bible in the bathroom. Said it was the only way to get any peace and quiet when her girls were still at home. Read it thru every year for about 60 years. Impressive. She never would say if she still only read in the bathroom.

Great faith, lots of love. Joy and laughter always, even when times were tough. Modeled grace and love and forgiveness to everyone.

And today she is dancing around the throne of God.

Save one for me Matt. I'll be along shortly.

Community, pain, and healing...

2011-11-30T14:54:00.000-08:00

I just don't get the people who think they do not need church. Maybe they think they will never need anyone's help to survive spiritually. Maybe they believe that they have absolutely nothing of value to offer anyone else. But I believe church is community and we need each other. And I am 100% convinced the most important time of need is when tough times come.

When the pain seems overwhelming, when you have no idea what to do next, when it seems nothing will ever be right in your world again... that is when you need community. But not for the reason we sometimes think. Most of the time we speak in terms of people to hug us, pray for us, and give us spiritual advice and counsel. And those things are important.

But sometimes we need to see someone who has lived thru the same pain... and was healed. They may cry with you because they understand more than anyone else what you are going thru. They may hug in a deeper way because they have been there. They may give wonderful advice and guidance that they learned by living the same experience you are in.

Or it may be the best thing they do is give a living example that you will get thru it, that God does redeem and restore, that healing is possible. Living proof of God's work.

I often tell people that the best thing Marsha and I do for wounded couples is to have them look at us. We are happy and healthy. I tell people in spiritual battles that if God can make me a preacher and an elder, then imagine what he can do with them. Living proof.

So I love people who re-live their pain to help others. I love couples who remember the hard times in their life in order to help someone else rebuild a marriage.

I love people who re-visit the pain of losing a spouse, a child, or a parent in order to help someone else thru that journey.

I love recovered addicts who recall the life they now hate in order to give hope to someone else.

I love cancer survivors who go back to the hospital to sit with someone going thru chemo.

So we have to share our stories, our healings, our recoveries. You need it. You may need to share it.

That's what community is -- being willing to remember my pain to help you get thru yours. Helping and being helped.

After all, isn't that what Jesus did for us. The difference is that he saw the pain before it happened and lived thru it so I could be healed.

So share your story. Someone in your community of faith needs you.

The cost of raising Christian kids...

2011-11-22T14:15:00.000-08:00

I am so thankful that my kids are faithful Christians. But I think we sometimes overlook something very important when talking about wanting our kids to be faithful. We made an intentional choice to raise them to be Christians, but it was not as easy as we sometimes make it out to be. As great as the Christian life is, and as much as I wanted them to choose that life ... I also knew it would come at great cost.

By choosing to be Christians, I knew my children would always be at odds with their culture. They would live different and the world would not understand. That makes it hard growing up different. And when they did not live up to the Christian life they had chosen, they would be miserable until they got their focus back on Jesus. That is painful.

I knew that we were raising them to be people that might not be successful by the world's standards. God could chose to bless them, but they would live in a world that is selfish and hard. They would be in a culture that would hurt them and use them. People would betray them, take advantage of them, and well ... not be like Jesus.

Kingdom business would be more important to them than the world's business. They would grow up and choose to deny themselves, take up the cross daily and follow Jesus.

And they would be persecuted. Because that is what the world does to Christians. And they would never be at home in this world. Because it would not be home.

But it is a life that brings joy, peace, hope, and purpose. It is a life of love. It is a life lived for something bigger than us. And it is a life lived forever.

It is the life that their grandparents chose. It is the life Marsha and I chose. It is the life they chose. As did their spouses. And now they are raising my grandkids in a way that they will someday choose that life.

And I couldn't be prouder. Or happier.

Or more thankful.

Andrew Joel Ridgell is turning 4...

2011-11-17T15:36:00.000-08:00

Yes it is another birthday for one of my grandkids so this is my tribute to Andrew Joel who turns 4 Saturday. Maybe it is because he is Joe Don's son, maybe it is because he is the 4th generation Joel Ridgell -- or maybe it is because he absolutely makes my heart happy -- but I love this kid so much.

He is the happiest guy I know. He is always smiling, laughing, grinning. He loves ball, swords, the zoo, and his Pops.

He is a natural athlete just like his Daddy was (oops. sorry JD, I meant "is").

But here are the things that steal my heart.

Saying a prayer with him and having him say "I like that prayer Pops."

Having his cousin Jake say that Jesus is God's Son and Andrew saying that he died on the cross for our sins.

Hearing his sister tell Pops to quit being silly and act like a normal man and Andrew saying "Mimi, what is a normal man?"

Sweet, happy, fun, and loves Jesus. Andrew don't ever change.

Pops loves you so much.

Thanks God for Andrew Joel.

And by the way, Andrew, I know you are really smart, but you may need to get Mom or Dad to read this to you.

I spent the weekend with some life changers...

2011-11-16T14:15:00.000-08:00

I got to spend last weekend with several people I love and admire because they are life changers -- both in their own lives but in the lives of others. Did a seminar at Shiloh Road in Tyler and here are some of the people I got to see.

Joe and Juanita Ridgell. My folks. Spent the night with them on the way to Tyler. My dad is battling early dementia but still love seeing them. Appreciate my Mom and the way she patiently takes care of my Dad. Loved hearing my Dad talk about how elders and churches should pray more. I have such a great heritage.

Lou and Eppie Elmore. Saw them on the way to Tyler, then they came to Shiloh to hear me preach. Lou is a cancer survivor and Ep just had part of one leg amputated. They both have a great attitude. They have spent their life serving people and sharing Jesus with everyone they know. Great servants.

Shiloh Road elders and wives. I love elders who wrestle with radically buying into reaching people for Jesus. And what it means for them, their staff, and their flock.

Tim and Denise Henderson. Been a youth minister at Shiloh for almost 20 years. Tim was in my youth group a long, long time ago and I baptized her. Always knew he would do great things in the kingdom. Priviledged to present them an award from ACU camps. Watched their congregation give them a standing ovation.

Charles and Deanne Smith. I have known Charlie for over 50 years. Baptized her. Love Charles for what he has meant to the kingdom and to Shiloh, but even more because he is willing to do whatever it takes in his life to follow Jesus faithfully.

Mark and Judy Edge. Love people who live to bring others to Jesus. Not just preach about it. Years in Argentina as church planters. Adopted two precious kids so they could have a different life. Now at Shiloh preaching as much with his life and family as he does with his mouth. Awesome.

Marsha Ridgell. She went with me on this trip. More popular than I am. Still the most fun person to hang out with and still my best friend. Still likes my preaching. Still loves me.

I went to inspire, motivate, encourage, and equip people to share Jesus by telling stories. I got more out of it than they did. Hanging out with people who have great stories.

Thanks God. It doesn't get much better than last weekend.

Yes I do love Southern Hills...

2011-11-08T14:46:00.000-08:00

Two things got me thinking about why I love my church. One was a comment someone made about preachers working at churches they don't like and wouldn't attend if they weren't on staff. So it made me start thinking about elders loving their church. The other was someone asking me about my weekend.

I can get real frustrated about things in church. I hate church politics. I despise hidden agendas. And if you read this blog regularly you know I have all sorts of odd quirks and hangups. I realize there are congregations I would not want to be a part of, but there are lots of congregations that I like. I like several other congregations right here in Abilene. I like my kid's church in Fort Worth. I have preached in several churches recently that I would be happy to call home.

The churches I like have a couple of things in common: they love Jesus and they are passionate about reaching the lost. I am pretty much going to love any church that has these two things. But I got to thinking about things this weekend that make me love Southern Hills.

I was amazed how many of the ACU people ministering to the students after the horrific crash Friday were our people. Everywhere I looked I saw Southern Hills. ACU staff and hospital staff. Pretty neat. And we had a lot of our campus ministry team there, many of whom are not connected to ACU. Just love Jesus and people and were there to help.

Sunday's service was about mission and making disciples. We give, we pray, we go, we care. I love that.

I had a great conversation with a member we did an annointing for recently. We talked about his health issues and the struggle to be faithful when God doesn't answer exactly like we want. Love that we could have that kind of conversation. Love that we could commit to love Him and praise Him for the good. And that we could commit to love Him and praise Him in the hard times. Loved that we could pray about it.

Marsha and I had a couple come to church Sunday we have been trying to reach. Baptized two of their family members a couple of years ago. Loved watching people go over and meet them and welcome them.

Love that people showed up for a shower at our house for someone that needs to be shown love and community.

We had a baptisimal blessing for one of our new Bhutanese brothers. I love the way Southern Hills has invested in that ministry.

And I love a church where elders pray with people in the foyer, in the auditorium, and in the parking lot.

How could I not love a church that loves Jesus and loves the lost so much? Great people that care about being Jesus in a lost world. And they sell out for Jesus.

So for my flock that is reading this... I love you.

So why do l0ve your church?

Can the right ministry team grow a church...

2011-10-27T13:40:00.000-07:00

Of course not. God gives the growth. That's what God said thru Paul. So I am always amazed at church leaders who think getting the right staff in place will grow their church. And how if the church is not growing -- or even losing members -- then changing ministers is the answer. I actually hear people say that the problems in their church would be solved if they could get a preacher/worship leader/youth minister like ... and then they mention someone. I can only assume they are a fan of cloning. Or they want to steal someone else's minister. Or that everthing about their situation is exactly the same as the place that has the "just perfect" minister.

If it was true that the right staff is the key to growth, then what happens when they die, leave, retire, or quit? Growth ends? It is as if we can't grow because we can't hire the right ministers, and we can't hire the right ministers because we are not growing. And if not very careful, we end up hiring ministers to do the ministry for us. And they in turn construct ministries and programs to serve us. Study for us, give our kids faith, and do what we are not doing. If a church won't provide these things for us, we'll find one that will.

And yes, those of you who know me realize that I think we should hire evangelists. Worship evangelists, evangelists of the Word. Youth, Children, and Family evangelists. Let deacons organize ministry. Let elders pastor. Let evangelists evangelize. And train and motivate us to evangelize. To have ministries and programs that attract non-believers.

And it is easy as a minister to fall into the trap of taking care of the church. But some ministers get it. They construct programs to equip members for ministry, not just provide ministry. The see their ministries as evangelistic opportunities. And God uses them to grow churches.

The best ministers are not professionals. They are not effective because of their skill set. Or their training. Peter and John were incredibly effective ministers in the midst of the explosive growth in Jerusalem. I think it could be called a mega church. Acts 4: 13 identifies three characteristics concerning them.

They had courage. They had to talk about Jesus. You could not stop them. It was a calling, not a career.

They were not professionally qualified. They were unschooled and ordinary. Probably couldn't get a preaching job in most of our churches.

They had been with Jesus. They lived it. Walked the walk and talked the talk. People knew it.

So if you want to find the right staff to give God the chance to grow your church, then find people who have been with Jesus and are courageous. Find those who will preach, evangelize, and do ministry whether they are paid or not. If they have a great skill set also, then even better. If they have training and education to do ministry, that may help. But skills and training are worthless without a courageous life sold out for Jesus. And if you have that, God will use you to help grow an incredible church.

Given the choice between the two, I'll take Peter and John over the professional anytime. It doesn't have to be either or, but if it is... make the right choice.

And for any ministers that might read this... be courageous to follow the call of Jesus. God will use you. Always has. Always will.

What is the role of worship in growing a church?

2011-10-25T13:06:00.000-07:00

It seems that we spend a great deal of time talking about how what we do-- or don't do -- in worship impacts church growth. Most of the time that discussion is a thinly disguised effort to have worship the way we like it. And don't misunderstand me. I think we should like and enjoy worship when possible. But I am not sure that worship should ever be about me.

Having said that, think about how many times you have know people who "changed churches" because worship was not the way they thought it should be. When churches begin making worship decisions based on who might leave, or how many might come, it is the wrong focus. Do you play defense? What must we not do because this or that group will leave if we do something different? What must we do because this or that group will leave if we don't do something different? Wrong questions. And remember that I think it possible to have a big church just by focusing on what everyone does, or doesn't want, in worship. Keep yours happy. Get the unhappy down the road to come. But is that real growth? Is that how God grows a church?

But worship is important. Yes it is. But we must not construct worship based on us. Worship is about God. So here is the real question that should guide worship decisions for believers: what will motivate us to love and good works. Read Hebrews 10:24 and 25. It seems that our assembly should be one of the things that motivates us to be Jesus in the world we encounter during our daily vocation. The more you focus on loving God, loving your church family, and loving the lost, then the less you will focus on the worship experience. I want people to leave seeking opportunities to do good in this world, not leaving talking just about how good they feel. In fact, if the hour or so you spend in the assembly is the primary source of your worship, your spiritual growth, and your fellowship ... then you have deeper issues than how worship is conducted.

But what about non-believers? Shouldn't we shape our worship services to appeal to them? No. "Seeker friendly" services come much more from the people than the worship process. Non -Christians are drawn to our services because of what the see in us. That is why they visit. So is the point to make them feel comfortable and not threatened? Or is the point to convert them by what we do? Is the point to be sure they realize that our worship is "correct"?

The point of worship for the non-believer is that he might be overwhelmed by the realization that God is among us. That's what Paul says in I Corinthians 14.

What I am thinking is that the key is not so much the how of worship, but the why of worship. And lots of the discussions I hear is about the wrong focus. And any worship discussion that starts with "they won't stay if we do that" is not the right focus. Or "they won't come if we don't do thus and so." "Or we won't reach the lost unless we do this or that." I just think those questions are missing the main point.

So I am all about excellence in worship. Let's just be sure it is for the right audience and the right reason.

So are church projects/programs good or bad?

2011-10-19T08:22:00.000-07:00

The answer is ... it depends. Why do you want the program, project, or ministry in question? I think there are three reasons most decide to implement new programs.

The first is because you need it. This is what happened in the first century church. Act 6 is a ministry/program to feed widows in the rapidly growing Jerusalem church. It was becoming a spiritual problem also. There is another fully developed ministry described in I Timothy 5, complete with detailed qualifications for those participating. It also deals with widows and evidently grew out of a recognized need. So when God is blessing your church and causing it to grow, you may find that their is a need for programs and ministries to have more attention.

Some programs are initiated because of the tremendous opportunity to make disciples. Over the past few years at Southern Hills, we have developed a ministry to Bhutanese refugees. Large numbers of these refugees ended up in Abilene and some of our members got involved. We have served hundreds of these in various ways including teaching English, helping with basic life skills, benevolence, teaching Bible classes, and now leadership training. We have lots of volunteers, then developed a budget, are allocating staff resources, and constantly adding projects as needs develop. It is as if God put a mission field right in our laps. And we have baptized around 30 of them so far.

Some programs begin because a church sees that as the secret to reverse their declining numbers, or to enable them to be the big church they envision becoming. Often the program is one that some other church (often the size they would like to be) has had success with. Or maybe they don't even know if it is succesful but since they do it we should so we can be like they are. And sometimes this approach can swell your numbers but I am not sure that is God growing your church.

So now someone may think it is a great idea to start a Bhutanese ministry. It sure has worked at Southern Hills. I would suggest you check and see if any Bhutanese actually are in your neighborhood first. It works for us because we saw an opportunity to reach people for Jesus and God has caused it to grow.

So I think programs and ministries that arise out of congregaitional needs are wonderful. I think ministries that develop because of the opportunity to make disciples are real blessings. And God may use these tools to grow your church into something you never even imagined.

But if a program is designed because you think it is the one that will save your dying church, or help you become the mega church you are sure God wants you to be ... I would suggest you are chasing the wrong goal.

We plant and water. God gives the increase. When we plan the increase, we find ourselves chasing every program or project that we think will make the difference. So always evaluate the motivation, the reason, for any project or program.

God does amazing things when we let Him grow our church. When we try to do the amazing things, it is us growing the church. Not the same.

The most important thing ...

2011-10-13T11:44:00.000-07:00

God is the one that gives the increase, so focusing on the desired outcome -- larger, stop declining, etc -- leads to what can be unhealthy decisions. Rather, focus on what God would have your church to do and be, then let Him deal with the outcome. And here is the single most important thing you can do to enable God to grow your church: Jesus.

Some of you think it is a given that a church would be all about Jesus, but let me tell about one that wasn't. It was a church that worked hard, got a lot done, and worked hard to maintain correct doctrine. It was the church in Ephesus and Jesus threatened to remove their lampstand from its place. Ouch. The problem was they had forsaken their first love. They were being unfaithful to Jesus. Check out Revelation 2.

You can build a church with lots of hard work, many programs, and last a long time. You can nail the right doctrine. And not be a church that pleases God. Not if the core -- the heart -- is missing.

Paul knew a lot about what churches should do and not do to let God grow them. He is the one who reminded us that only God gives the increase. He said the core belief, the most important doctrine, the thing that validates our faith, and the place where we should take our stand is that Jesus died for our sins, was buried, and was raised on the third day. It is Jesus. Look at I Corinthians 15.

So why is God not growing your church? Or why are you not as big as you want to be? Why are the people not knocking down your door? Don't evaluate your programs, your staff, your building, or your worship style and structure. At least not first. Start by doing a Jesus check.

I worship at a church of Christ and one the things I worry about is that we work really hard on the first part of that name and take the second part for granted. So I want us to remember that name is not a title but a description.

But aren't those other things important? Only if they are about Jesus. And that's how we get "zombie churches". You know, still moving but not really alive. When the programs, buildings, staff, worship become about us instead of Jesus, God is not going to honor us with growth. And churches have doing that for 2000 years.

The next several posts will talk about some of these other things and how I think they work as tools to honor Jesus and sow seed so God can bless us with the increase. But I will tell you this. If you see a church that is growing and you want to know why... it is not because of the programs, worship, staff, or buildings. It is because of Jesus. And if any of those things seem to really be working well, it is because they have Jesus at the center.

So in any discussion of church growth, the question is always Jesus. Which works really well because he is also the answer.

So maybe you don't want me to help you grow a mega church...

2011-10-12T12:47:00.000-07:00

OK. It is pretty clear by now that no one is going to hire me to tell them how to grow a mega church. I might want too much money and they may think the ideas I proposed were no good. So…

Read my blog yesterday and you can have all those ideas for free. Because if what you want to do is be a mega church, then you can get there that way. In fact, if you want to be a bigger church, you can use those ideas. Or, if you are worried about not getting smaller, you can steal those ideas.

But by now most of you have figured out that I don’t like the idea of trying to be a mega – big – or bigger than you are – church. You are chasing the wrong thing. If that is the goal, you end up in some of the absurd traps I talked about yesterday. And yes, of course I was sarcastic (tho I am still open to the big consulting checkJ).

I am convinced God controls growth. All we can do is control the process. There are two great phrases about church growth.

The Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. Acts 2: 47

When Paul talked about church growth, he said neither he nor Apollos were anything, only …God, who makes things grow. I Corinthians 3: 7

Kingdom growth is about reaching the lost. Troop transfer among the Lord’s army is not growth. If my church grows because all the people from your church came to join us, I am not sure that is kingdom growth. Fear of people going somewhere else leads to those horrible ideas from yesterday’s post. But that is the trap many churches fall into. When you find yourselves asking what do we do to be bigger it becomes too easy to look for the magic bullet. And there isn’t one. And a lot of good and healthy processes get perverted into something very unhealthy.

I see lots of large churches that are not growing. And I see lots of churches getting larger but not really growing. Some churches have gotten smaller but they are actually really growing.

Growing churches – mega or not – never start out to be a bigger church. They start out by deciding to do what God calls His people to do. In fact, many of them don’t care if they are big or not. They let God worry about the results. And the churches that set out to get bigger, never really grow.

So I love those churches that grow from 20 to 25 because someone taught the family next door about Jesus. Or the church that grew from 2000 to 2500 because their members started telling their friends, family, and neighbors the Jesus story.

Or the church that grew from 500 to 300 when 300 members left because this whole living Jesus out in our world was too much to ask. But the ones that stayed bought in to the radical concept of a community of believers living out their faith and inviting others to join them on that journey. And God made them grow.

And some church got those 300 members and may have thought they were growing. So we let God control the growth, or we try to control the growth. One works. One doesn’t.

So let God worry about the result and the numbers and the growth and how big you getSo let God worry about the result and the numbers and the growth and how big you get.

The Secret to Growing a Mega Church...

2011-10-11T12:54:00.000-07:00

I can be your consultant to help you grow a mega church. All it takes is money, including paying a consultant :) You need money to hire the best professional staff possible. Your lead minister must be an incredible leader, strong administrator, and a great preacher. He must really know Scripture because he will the source of most of the Bible study at this church.

The rest of the staff must be top-flight. They must be able to stucture enough programs and have enough interns so that every possible interest of every member is provided for. If they want it, provide it.

Worship must be top of the line. Professional musicians should be used. I know -- more money -- but we want the best. We want people to come out "blown away" by the experience.

The building must be first class. Acoustics are key. So is the right location. It must be easy for people to drive to because you may need to draw from well outside your neighborhood.

Target the right audience. You need to appeal to those people who have given up on their church. Maybe it did not meet their needs. Maybe it asked too much of them. Maybe worship just didn't "do it" for them. Low hanging fruit. Pick it.

There are a few things to guard against.

Don't expect your members to be involved. You have a top of the line staff to handle all the programs. Your preacher will do the studying. Staff will handle all worship responsibilities. Staff will cast the right vision. Let people come in, have an uplifting experience, and get out on time. Be sure we take care of the children from cradle to college. Parents have enough pressure making a living. If you ask too much, they may move to the church down the road and then they will be the mega-church.

Don't get complacent in worship. Stay cutting edge. Do something different. If you don't, they may find another church whose worship is more entertaining. Oops, I meant exciting. Wait... I meant meaningful.

Watch out for people. they can mess up everything. They have struggles and can really distract you from the programs. Some of them want to be used in Kingdom business. Stick them on a committee or involve them in a program under staff supervision. But do not let them out in the world doing ministry on their own. Growth must be controlled and managed properly.

Finally, watch out for people from the world. They can cause us to lose focus on meeting our needs. They don't understand contemporary and traditional worship wars. Sorry, I meant worship focus. They may ask questions that are awkward. Let the professionals handle them if they must be dealt with.

Remember -- it is a war out there. There are lots of churches and not enough members. You want to be the biggest and best. If you don't please everybody, the next church will. So play defense. Don't do anything to offend anyone. Do everything to please everyone. I know that sounds hard, but you can do it.

You too can have a mega church. Just think how different Acts could have been if they only knew how to grow a mega church.

Hard week...

2011-10-04T14:41:00.000-07:00

Most of you that know our family know the last couple of weeks have been hard. Our daughter Julie has been fighting pain for several weeks. Her Doctor here sent her to Dallas where a specialist found an embedded kidney stone. Surgery that day. She is fine and recovering but we kept Jake and Avery quite a bit.

On the day she got home from having her stent removed, Avery went into the hospital. Ended up being a nasty virus, but had a couple of scary days waiting on test results.

Got a couple of people fighting for their marriage and we are pretty heavily invested emotionally and with our time trying to give spiritual counsel.

Then just heard about an elder buddy from Brooks Avenue in Raleigh, John Greenwood. I get to travel around the country doing evangelism seminars but get to visit with lots of elders. Many of them develop into mutual mentoring relationships. John was one of those. He suffered a massive stroke and was taken home to be with the Lord last Sunday night. That church has had a tough couple of years. Dennis Conner, their preacher, lost his wife to cancer a couple of years ago. Praying for their strength.

So a little whipped these days. But there are a couple of people wanting to talk more about Jesus this week. That will help.

Thanks for listening.

The Vince and Roxanne story...

2011-09-27T13:13:00.000-07:00

Vince wanted something more in his life. He was engaged to Roxanne and they each had a little boy. He wanted to be the right kind of man for his family. One day he was driving past Southern Hills, saw all the cars, and decided to visit. Loved the way we sang, loved the simple way we talked about God, and loved the people he met.

When he told Roxanne, she wanted to come too. She had grown up a Christian but had wondered away from her faith.

God had people in just the right place to help. Roxanne told a friend at work that they were visiting Southern Hills. Her friend told her that was where she and her husband went. Said they could come with them to their Bible class.

Roxanne called her Aunt to ask advice because she knew her Aunt was a Christian. Aunt Kathy said her cousin, Marsha Ridgell, went there and that Marsha and Steve helped people know Jesus.

So Roxanne called to ask if I could: marry them, do some pre-marital counseling, help Vince know Jesus, and help her find her way back to the Lord. Yes, yes, yes, and yes.

Vince was baptized a couple of weeks ago and Roxanne confessed her desire to come back to the Lord. I'll be doing their wedding in the near future.

So God used Julie and Jerrod, Lane and Kathy, Steve and Marsha, Phyllis, a church passionate about Jesus and worship, and a lot of elders and wives who made it a point to meet and welcome them and then showed up at the baptism.

Go God. Go Vince and Roxanne.

What I learned from my son about race...

2011-09-22T14:00:00.000-07:00

Joe Don was in first or second grade when it happened. One of the couples we ran around with, traveled with, and did ministry with were Josh and Doris Owusu. Great spiritual journey story. They had a son, Drexell, who was about JD's age so they spent a lot of time together. Josh and Doris were from Ghana and they were very dark complected. Very.

Marsha was cooking supper when Joe Don asked the question: "Mom, did you know Drexell was black?" She said yes, as a matter of fact she did know that. Joe Don was fine with that answer and off he went to play.

But for a long time we wondered what prompted that. Who told him Drex was black? Or did Joe Don just notice it and think it was cool. Was it just a fact like Drex was taller. It wasn't a big deal at our house. In fact, it wasn't a deal at all. So we didn't make a big deal about it. And it sure didn't faze our son.

But here was what it reminded us to be aware of: we live in a world that wants to point out the differences between us. We felt like someone may have tried to take away some of our son's innocence.

It's a tough world and prejudice still exists. But we also learned that what is taught at home is more powerful than the world. And we never had talked about race. Hadn't needed to at our house. The Owusu family was our family. Their home was our home.

So when we did start to talk about race as they got older, we made it a point not to focus on the superficial -- like skin color. We talked about how alike we were. God made us all. God loves us all. Jesus died for us all. As they got older, we talked about how we all shared the same baptism and recieved the same Holy Spirit. We are true brothers and sisters in the family of God.

Pretty much the same stuff I say today. And what I think my kids are teaching their kids.

And what we Christians know. What will make the world a better place. Not better race relations, but better Jesus relations. That is what will stop the sin of racism. And every other sin.

Incidents that formed my view of race, Part 2

2011-09-15T12:59:00.000-07:00

It was in the Spring of 1969 and my senior year in High School. Oddly enough, I do not even remember how this started, but for several weeks I led singing at an all black congregation, Mountain View Church of Christ, near my home in Duncanville, Texas.

Loved their enthusiasm in worship. And yes, I know much of that was because I am somewhat exuberant myself. I am really not sure I led as much as I started songs and tried to keep up after that. they even let me preach a couple of times and they sure could "amen".

I loved my home congregation and I loved them so I thought it would be a great idea if I could get them together, so I invited them to dismiss their evening worship one sunday and come over to worship with my home church. I didn't even think about mentioning this to anyone else.

And they come. In a car caravan. All at once. About 30 of them into the building. I am not sure how much might have been prejudice, how much might have been shock, or how much might have been confusion ... but for a moment or two nobody seemed to know what to do.

I will always remember that my Dad -- who was one of the elders -- walked right over and started introducing himself, just like he would to anyone else. So then everyone else did also.

I know in East Texas in the late 60's there had to be some racial prejudice even in the church. But I learned two great lessons that night. One was that a Jesus action will lead people to do the right thing. Two, in Jesus we are much more alike than different. Same faith in Jesus, same baptism, same God to worship.

Fellowship and worship: two lessons I am glad I learned.

Thoughts on turning 60...

2011-09-09T13:56:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is true. Sunday I will be 60 years old. Everyone seems to think this is a big deal. I don't, but since everyone is asking... here are a few thoughts about it.

I look good for a 70 year old, but at least I don't look much older than I did at 50. Gives me great hope for how I may look at 80.

Yes I realize most of my productive life is behind me but I don't dwell much on that. In fact, I don't think much at all about the past. Glad of the lessons I have learned, but don't see the point of living in the past. God has forgiven my mistakes so why dwell on them.

As for the good things, dwelling on them might keep me from all the great things I still have to do. So I don't just turn the page on the daily calendar, I pretty much rip it up.

And the greatest lesson I have learned is that whatever happens, it will be OK. God will see me thru. He always has. Tough times or great times, He has alwasy been there.

So I really haven't changed much. Still love preaching. The most fun thing I do is talk to people about Jesus. Love singing in worship. Same things I liked when I was 20.

Still have lots of energy and enthusiasm.

I have slowed down in a few things. I don't run in races anymore. I jog ... well, more like waddle, actually it is more of a walk. No more full court basketball. I don't play shortstop anymore. When I wear my glasses, I can hit one dove every 12 shots. Without them, I hope I see the dove. I drive my truck as close as I can to haul out my deer.

And there are a few things I treasure more and more every day. I still really enjoy being married to my best friend. I am so blessed by my four kids. All of them love Jesus, love each other, and love me. I enjoy my grandkids, and if the Lord lets me live to watch them grow up (and by the way, that if is not a death fixation, it is a Biblical view of life), I am going to really have a good time with all 5 of them. All four of my parents are still alive and functional. Every day I appreciate that -- and them -- more and more.

Finally, I am still pretty much a today kind of guy. I don't think much about the future. I don't wonder about how many years of productive ministry are left. I'll leave that to God.

So I expect that the day after I am 60 will be like all the rest. I'll thank God for the gift of life. I'll enjoy my family. I'll talk about Jesus. And I'll be happy.

How could it get any better?

Why I think the way I do about race...

2011-09-06T14:36:00.000-07:00

Recently saw The Help. Good movie. Go see it. It got me to thinking about the three events that most strongly formed my thinking about race -- especially with African Americans. So I thought I would share them.

The first happened when I was 11 or 12 years old. My uncle (or maybe it was my Pap-pa) and I were at a feed store in southwestern Arkansas. The were barrels with checkerboards on them and many of the oldtimers would play a game while picking up their feed. I thought I was pretty sharp and I had learned to play checkers but I never could get a seat.

Then one day I noticed a seat staying vacant. After no one sat there for several minutes, I siezed my chance. Didn't even think to ask my Uncle. The player on the other side was a black man. It never dawned on me there might be a reason no one would play with him. And I was quickly aware that I had done something I shouldn't have.

You are probably hoping that this was a great story of racial reconciliation. Bit it's not. My opponent never said a word to me other than "your move". The game was over in just a couple of minutes. He humiliated me. I was mad, embarressed, and still sensing something wasn't quite right.

My uncle never said a word about it. We just left. And I didn't ask. I have since wondered how he felt about what I did. Did I make it awkward for him. I must have. So looking back on it, I realized a couple of things that influenced my thinking about race.

One is that racism is not always taught, but it sure is learned. I am not sure anyone said that no one was to play checkers with a black man. Some things were just understood. I am not even sure that those men would have realized they were racist. It was just the way things were. The Civil Rights movement was underway, but it hadn't really made it to that part of the world. Colored water fountains and restrooms were still in use. I am not sure anyone intended to treat people differently because of their skin color. It was just part of their environment.

But I learned a great lesson: people are people no matter what their color. That man wanted to humiliate me. There was no teaching this kid, no bonding across racial lines. I don't know if this was his way to strike back at the injustice of those times, or if he was just mean. For all I know, no one would play checkers with him because a) he was black, or b) he was mean. I have no idea how many times he sat in that store staring at an empty chair, waiting on someone to sit down.

But I also learned that day that black people were just like everyone else -- some were nice, some were not. Skin color didn't make the difference. It would have been a nicer story had I been able to say I learned that day that black people were sweet and nicer than anyone else. But the truth is, I had never thought about black people one way or the other. I guess that's why I never thought twice about sitting down. I saw an empty chair and didn't pay any attention to who was on the other side. I didn't think about it until it started getting quiet.

I am not sure I processed all that at the time, but it did make me aware that racism was real. And that the color of your skin had nothing to do with your character.

Next time I will share what happened my Senior year in High School.

So maybe you will think about -- and share -- some of those moments that shaped your thinking about race.

Another God story....

2011-08-30T14:50:00.000-07:00

I got to witness a new birth one Thursday night recently. And, as we always do, we did a baptisimal blessing for Ben this last Sunday. You need to know his story.

It started about two years ago. At least that's when I got involved. Glen and Connie stopped me during the Garden of Prayer one Sunday morning and asked if I would pray with their grandkids. They had started bringing them to church and wanted them to know Jesus. After a few months, their granddaughter decided to become a Christian. Her mother and one of our elder's wives -- Hymonda -- were visiting at the baptism.

Hymonda told the story of her conversion. She talked about her Mom had come to see her baptized, and decided that she needed to accept Jesus also. And how that family heritage has continued now into the fourth generation. So Pam, Glen's daughter, decided that was a great idea and she was baptized too.

Ben is Pam's son. He had been coming to church and got involved with some of our youth, studied with Ricky and decided to follow Jesus also.

The power of stories. God writing stories. Believers sharing their story with family. Stories playing out over years. Ricky and Phil, two of our ministers, sharing God's Word. Elders praying. Jesus saving.

There will be more stories like Ben's. Even now there are believers sharing their story, inviting friends and family to make their story part of God's never ending story.

Go God.

Anything you pay the wrong preacher is too much...

2011-08-25T13:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I wrote that I believe you cannot pay the right preacher/minister too much. But I also believe just as strongly that anything you pay the wrong preacher/minister is too much. So the obvious question is how do you know when you have the wrong minister? Some of this will be a matter of reversing yesterday's assesment of how you know you have the right minister.

You have no idea what he does. Not that you do not know his job description, but you are unable to identify what he does. You never cross their ministry tracks.

Their area of responsibility seems to always be in a struggle.

There are no unsolicited "wows" or "thanks" from lives they have touched.

They are unhappy with their pay or their workload.

It may be simply a matter of the wrong fit. I have seen many ministers who were clearly not succesful at one congregation be absolutely the right fit at a different place. And vice versa.

Maybe you have them in the wrong job. Every effective youth minister does not "grow up" to be a good preacher.

One last test: if they leave tomorrow, how hard will it be to replace them?

And for the record -- most minsiters I know are the ones you can't overpay.

But if you have the wrong one, don't keep pouring good money into a bad fit. You are not doing either the minsiter or the church a favor. And not helping the kingdom either.

You can't pay the right preacher too much...

2011-08-24T14:19:00.000-07:00

It's the time of year when budgets are being set and that always leads to discussions about how much to pay the ministry staff. If you have the right one, you cannot pay him too much. And here is why I think that.

If he is really God's man, he and his family will use and give away in ministry what they recieve above reasonable living expenses. They will have a house that is constantly used for kingdom business. He will wear out his vehicles doing ministry. He will be a generous giver. It is concievable that he might even say "I have enough. Use it somewhere else."

So how do you know you have the right man? One way is that you always come across their ministry tracks. You see people they are working with, you hear people talk about how much they have meant to their family. You never have to wonder what they are doing. You worry that they need to spend more time with family and encourage them to take time off.

God is blessing their ministry with growth. Youth ministry, or campus, or family, or pulpit. It doesn't matter. You will see evidence that they are the right fit for the job. Spiritual growth -- not just numerical growth -- is a result of their ministry.

You know that their ministry is a calling, not a career. They would do ministry if no one paid them. They can't help it.

So if you have the right people in place, be generous. It will come back to you many times over.

And yes, I really do know ministers like this.

What to do when you can't do it all ....

2011-08-18T14:21:00.000-07:00

I can't do everything at church, but I feel guilty when I don't.

I hear this from elders, preachers, and members. I hear it from those at small congregations because there is so much that needs doing and so few to do it. I hear it at large congregations because there are so many ministries and opportunities.

So how do you decide where to commit your time, energy, and resources?

I tell you what has worked for me: matching my talents and my passion. Your talent is what you are good at. Maybe it is a gift you were born with, or maybe something you developed with training and practice. Maybe it is something life experience has equipped you to do well. If you are not sure where your talent lies, try different ministries. It will become clear to you. People will let you know. If you are not good at certain ministries, don't do them. For years we told every young man that he could preach and/or lead singing. But some were no good at it. They were miserable and so was the poor congregation.

Then match your talent with something that lights your fire. What is it you love to do? What excites you in ministry? And remember that over time, your passion may change. Some love youth ministry but see that passion fade when their children are no longer teenagers.

But you can't do everything. I think I am a gifted teacher and preacher. I think I connect with people. I love to help people learn about Jesus and decide to follow him. I am passionate about helping stuggling Christians find grace, healing, redemption, and restoration.

So I spend most of my time preaching and teaching at Southern Hills, around the country, and even around the world. I focus on evangelism. And as and elder, I mostly do "spiritual triage" work. I like it and I'm good at it.

But that means there are lots of other things I don't do. I don't spend much time on programs, budgets, and equipping others. But we have lots of elders and ministers who are good at that. And they like it. I don't do much long-term ministry. Most of my preaching is in seminars or short series. So are most of my teaching stints. I don't do much long term spiritual counseling, discipling, or mentoring. Others do and I celebrate that and encourage them.

And I still seem to connect with young people, college students, and couples younger than me (which of course is almost every one) so I do my preaching and teaching in those venues when possible. And most of my preaching and seminar appointments are about evangelism or redeeming fallen Christians.

Life is too short to spend it doing things I don't enjoy. And there are only so many hours in the day so I don't want to waste them on things I am not good at doing.

Of course, I am old and it took me a long time to figure this all out. Maybe this will help you catch on quicker.

But if you are trying to find Jesus, or your spiritual life just blew up ... call me. I'm your guy.

Why I love church

2011-08-16T14:36:00.000-07:00

Snapshots from the past week that remind me why I love church.

Marsha and I got to study with a young couple who are wondering if Jesus is the answer for a life of "hard" times. Heard about Southern Hills and started visiting. Heard about us and asked if we would help them. Loved seeing so many of our elders, ministers, and members stop by and meet them. They could see family.

Had another couple who realized they have some spiritual issues they must address. They honored us by coming to us for help. By the way, they contacted me on Facebook. Technology and kingdom business. Interesting. They knew it was safe to ask for help. Loved meeting with two of our elder couples who are going to get in their lives and help.

Taught the class for our Bhutanese refugee friends. Many of them are new Christians, others have been coming for a year or so. New batch arrived in Abilene and our Bhutanese told them they must come to Southern Hills. They are evangelizing. Most from Bhuddist background. Loved telling the story of Jesus. They are outgrowing their class. Had some even sitting on the floor. Awesome.

Got to do a baptisimal blessing for Natalie Neill. She is one of ours. I am thrilled when we reach those who have never know Jesus. But also thrilled when our kids move from family faith to personal faith. Liked watching her Dad baptize her. Enjoyed knowing that her Dad was raised at Southern Hills too and baptized in what is now our Chapel when he was about her age.

Go God.

I love church.

Our Austin is one year old today

2011-08-09T12:42:00.001-07:00

It's another birthday for one of our grandkids. Today Austin James Ridgell turned one. I have a lot of mixed feelings about it. The other four are really developing their personalities and I can already see faith in action in their lives. But with Austin I don't know yet. About all I know about him is that he laughs and smiles alot. And even if his Mommy and Daddy read this to him, he won't get it. Not yet.

But here is what I thought about today.

I'm getting older but it doesn't bother me much. I know I must be old because all my babies not only had babies, but their babies are growing older. Fast. But I like it. When I was a Dad, I was so busy making a living, dealing with my own growing up, and so caught up in the moment that I barely had time to enjoy my kids. And I spent a lot of time with them. But as Dad I was always thinking about what I needed to do -- could do -- to mold and shape them into Jesus people. But as a Pops I can just enjoy the ride.

So what do I do as Pops for Austin. I pray lots, give advice if I am asked (tho JD is a better Dad than I ever was so most of my advice is in the form of "...if I had it to do over again"), and revel in the joy of being Pops.

I wonder what great things he will do for the Lord. Some of you think I meant if, but I don't. I have no doubt that he will be faithful to the Lord just like the other four. I am not naive or arrogant, but I see how intentional both kids and spouses are about imparting faith. And, no, I never doubted Julie or Joe Don would have faith. Notice I don't say perfect, but faithful. And I believe the power of faithful parents sharing faith and God's Word is stronger than the world.

I wonder what his spiritual battles will be. And he will have them because we live in a fallen world.

I wonder who he will marry. I do already pray for her even tho I don't know her. I pray for all five future mates of my grandkids. Just like I prayed for Bobby and Jamie even before I knew who they were specifically.

Mostly I realized today how blessed and happy I am. God has been good to me and mine. He got us thru the tough times, and there have been more than a few. He's given good times, and there have been way more of those than we deserve.

So happy birthday Austin. You are part of an incredible family. You remind me how great our God is. I see His work in you. And I look forward to watching what He does with you in the future. So even tho I don't think I am old, you will. It's OK because it means I will have enjoyed our years together.

Listen to Mommy and Daddy. And Anna and Andrew most of the time. :)

Thanks God for giving us Austin. You did good.

Anna is 6 today.

2011-08-03T14:52:00.000-07:00

Today our oldest grandchild turns 6. Anna Claire changed our world. She has been the pacesetter for the other four grandchildren. I know every grandparent will say this, but... she is smart, pretty, and so self confident.

I love it when she sits on the counter with Mimi to make breakfast. I love it that she sometimes makes me "Popsie" instead of just Pops. I love to watch her run. She is a natural. so graceful.

But my favorite thing about our Anna Claire is that she loves to sing Jesus songs. From the time she was about 2, she has had a favorite song we like to sing. Right now it is the Revelation Song, tho she calls it the Holy, Holy, Holy song. I love that her Abilene cousins talk about visiting "Anna's church".

I like the way she organizes the other grandkids. She is a great boss. She is the independent grandchild. She can entertain herself with books and colors and is OK with being by herself.

So Anna, you will always be a success in the world's eyes because you are smart and beautiful. But you keep singing Jesus songs because that is why you will always be succesful in God's eyes. Use your persuasive ability to bring others to Jesus. Keep your individuality to walk in God's path. no matter what everyone wants to do.

I love you.

So thank you God for Anna Claire. She has brought joy into lots of lives. Especially that of her Mimi and Pops.

P.S. Even tho you are really smart, your Mom and Dad may have to read this to you.

How Do They Do It... thoughts on church growth in Africa.

2011-08-02T15:04:00.000-07:00

How do they do it? People are coming to Jesus all over Africa. I am just back from spending time in Malawi and Tanzania. Met with brothers from Zambia. Heard reports from work we have done in Mozambique. The gospel is spreading and the church is growing.

I think a lot about missionaries when I come back from there. The church here has lots of financial resources and there is a real need to share the Jesus story. So here is what I think. We need to use our resources to bring some missionaries from Africa to the United States. They can show us how they are reaching people. I wnat to know because they are missing several ingredients that we use here in the States.

They don't have nice buildings. They can't afford them. They meet in homes. Or their church building is a tent. Or it has dirt floors. Or they meet outside.

They don't put much of their budgets into missions and evangelism. They don't have budgets. They give to help those who need food and shelter. No budgets. Have to depend on God.

They don't have large ministerial staffs. Oops. That's not right. I should have said they do not have large paid ministerial staffs. They expect their members to do the youth ministry, lead worship, organize the Bible school classes, and often to do the preaching. If they support a preacher, he is an evangelist and he is often out planting churches in other places.

They just tell their friends and families about Jesus. Just like we do here. And maybe in our culture we need buildings and budgets and large paid staff. And maybe those things can be a means to an end.

But maybe we let those things become the end itself. Those things become the measurement of how we are growing. Bigger, larger, more.

So we have these things to attract people to our congregation. And the Lord's army will have a large troop transfer to our bigger, better, most. Or if we are losing the troops, it's because someone else has out programmed us. They out biggered and out mored us.

Let's use the tools we may have. But please God help us to focus on lost friends, family, and neighbors. We don't have to have any of the things we seem to put so much attention on. Please forgive us.

Churches anywhere grow when they talk about Jesus. When they live out the Jesus story in their lives. Here, there, and everywhere.

So let's get back to basics. You, me, and Jesus. The rest really doesn't matter.

So my Avery turned four today...

2011-07-18T18:42:00.000-07:00

Julie's little girl Avery turned four today. I love that girl. I know that is how grandparents are supposed to feel, but she just lights up the room. She is fearless. She will try anything in gymnastics or in the swimming pool. So she lives life a little on the edge. She adores her Mom, Dad, big brother, and her Mimi. She is loved by grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. She is loved by four -- four! -- great-grandparents.

I like it that she is loved by her church family. I like the way our "church neighborhood" messes with her. I like that she has adopted grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins all over that auditorium.

I love to watch her sing with her Mommy and her Mimi during church. I love the way she is excited to give her money during the children's offering at church. I love it that last Sunday she brought one of her friends to church. Just like she did in VBS. I love it when she quotes her memory verse.

I don't know if she will do gymnastics, swim, cheerleading, or tennis in the future. I don't know how she will look at 10, 15, or 20. And I guess I don't really care.

I just want her to keep loving her family, keep her church family, love singing, learn those memory verses, and enjoy giving. I figure if she keeps those, everything else will turn out all right. Because those things are part of God's gift in her life.

Thanks God for a precious gift I don't deserve. She makes me a better Pops. I promise I'll help show her and tell of your love. And she can spend her life telling others.

So, Avery... I hope your Mom and Dad will read this to you on today -- your fourth birthday. You have brought so much joy into so many lives. Keep loving Jesus. You make me proud.

The devil never wins... but he keeps trying

2011-07-05T14:41:00.000-07:00

I knew Sunday was going to be a great day. Jarrett, Vann, and Stephen worked very hard to put together a service that would call our congregation at Southern Hills to put nothing but Jesus on the throne of our heart. Satan of course hates it when God is doing great things among His people. So the devil tried to mess things up.

Air conditioning was out in part of the building. We had sound system issues in the first part of the service. We had a technological glitch during one of the readings. We had so many cars that some parked near a furniture store. They had a Sunday delivery and had to ask for our cars to move. Never happened before. Satan tried. God is bigger.

We had five brothers talk about the blessings in their lives over the past few years. slome of them were refugees, and one had escaped a genocide. We had stories of marriages and new babies. Stories of jobs, new homes, and lives of joy. The one thing these brothers had in common was that they were all new Christians. Each of them converted at Southern Hills by our members. And every one of them said the best thing that had happened in their life was Jesus. So thanks to Serge, Gauri, Deepok, Christian, and Bobby.

We had the men who are their spiritual mentors share the joy of seeing the blessings in the lives of these men, but they all identified the greatest blessing of all was seeing them find Jesus. So thanks Vann, Eddie, Todd, and Mark.

Stephen, Andy, and Sherwin helped us see opportunities to help make Jesus master of our hearts in real ways for us and our families. Jarrett and the praise team led us before God in praise. Having Todd, Mark, and Christian lead us into Communion was touching.

It was a great day that drew us closer in our commitments. We blessed Makaley in her new life in Christ. Great story of our people loving her and her family. We prayed over Bob who is resigning as an elder to work on his spiritual life. Powerful. Great example.

I enjoyed preaching, but I think the best sermons I heard came from Serge, Gauri, Deepok, and Bobby. They were powerful.

So take that Satan. We choose God. And He wins. So we do to. Forever.

Why I love my church...

2011-06-23T13:50:00.000-07:00

Four reminders from last night about why I love Southern Hills.

Sitting with another elder and his wife helping a couple work on restoring and healing their marriage.

Having one our members bringing a friend to church whose marriage is in trouble. She told her friend that our elders would pray for her. We did.

Being part of our regular elder/minister Bible study after services. We were studying the kind of men God expects us to be. The main thing we determined is that we are to be men of character with families that reflect that. Others should see us as Godly men of faith, and we should be able to teach, counsel, preach, and speak from a deep knowledge of God's Word. Rich and humbling.

Being called to the hospital at 1:00 this morning. Two of our families were with people whose son had been critically injured in an accident. Most of these people evidently did not have a shepherd, preacher, or church home. So our people stepped up. We prayed, talked, and spoke Jesus into a hurting group. Loved hearing our people respond to questions about why we would do that by saying we are God's people at Southern Hills. This is who we are and what we do.

Love nights like that. Wounded, healed and healing believers being the face and hands of Jesus in our world.

That is who we are and that is what we do.

Changing a church...

2011-06-20T14:46:00.000-07:00

How do you change a church? One way is to brand the new image everywhere. Get signage up proclaiming the kind of church you want to be known as. Repeat often from the pulpit that you are that kind of church. Remodel or build facilities that look like that kind of church. Form focus groups to center in on the clear vision. Have as many meetings as needed to get everyone on the same page.

Remind everyone that your worship style is to facilitate the new emphasis, especially if you want to change something.

With strong marketing, you can grow your membership by attracting members from elsewhere who want to belong to a church like that. It is very possible your staff will soon be holding workshops and lectureship classes on how to remake a church.

All of this will require lots of resources in time, money, and energy. It may consume your staff and eldership. Members may exhaust themselves to accomplish this rebranding.

But someday, your church image will be rebranded and you -- and the church world -- will all be convinced you are what your new image says.

Of course, changing an image doesn't change a church. Having an image does not mean you are what your image says. Ask the church in Sardis (Revelation 3): they had the reputation of being alive and Jesus said they were dead.

So if you want to change a church ... forget all the above.

Start doing. And soon your image and reputation will reflect that. Forget rebranding. Try recommiting.

When the church is really bought in and doing the new emphasis, then see if any of the things above need to be done.

In other words, change the reality first -- then the image.

But most churches I know work much more on the image. It's easier than real change.

Changing churches: image vs. reality

2011-06-15T07:18:00.000-07:00

I want my church to be better. I think that is true with most people. I think that is true with the majority of people in the churches I visit. And I think, pray, and wrestle with the best way to lead God's people in accomplishing this. But I think we generally go about this the wrong way.

Our answer to being a better church seems to always center on the same ideas. Get a better program, build something, adopt a better organizational model, change the ministerial staff.

Individually, those who want to lead this change seem to have the same approach. Criticize the results and methods now in place. Create a task force, committee, focus group, vision team, or ministry team. Ask to be lead the group, or at least be in the group. Spend lots of time and energy to come up the the right program, building, model, or staff.

Repeat as often as possible. If you do not get a lead voice in this process, threaten to leave. If you are in an area with lots of churches, go to the one that "gets" it. When you find out they are not everything they could be (because none are), repeat again. If you don't have other options, split -- oops, I mean start -- another congregation.

I wonder what would happen if we all decided to change by doing. What if we just got out in the world and talked about Jesus. Got invested in the lives of your spiritual family to the point where true accountiblity is practiced. Heal, restore, disciple, grow.

But it is easier to talk, plan, and organize than to do. Always has been. Always will be. I used to wonder if it was just where I worship, but in meeting with Christians and church leaders all over the United States and the world I see the same thing.

So I am trying to make sure I act, not just talk about it. Lead by example. If no one follows, I will still be making a difference in this world and in the kingdom of God. Sure beats talking about making a difference.

And just maybe the way to change the church ... is to change me.

Julie's birthday

2011-06-01T14:32:00.000-07:00

Today is my daughter's birthday. I remember when these were family events with proud grandparents, cake and ice cream. Then they became occassions for slumber parties and trips with friends. And now she is a grown woman with a husband and two kids of her own. I love Julie so much and am very proud of her. So I reflected today on why I am happy to be her Dad. Maybe these thoughts will help you realize what matters with your kids.

She still loves her family. She talks to her Mom every day. Of course, Marsha talks to her Mom every day too. And I guess Avery will always talk to Julie every day. Maybe that's a good pattern. She is intentional about her marriage to Bobby and about raising Jake and Avery.

She loves Jesus. She is intense about her faith. She helped Bobby to know Jesus. The most important thing she wants to give to her kids is faith in Jesus. It was the most important thing we wanted to give her. That's another good pattern.

She loves her church. They don't just show up, they are involved. She loves her church friends, she loves her extended church family, she loves her nursery class, and she invites people to come visit.

Her job is an extension of her heart. She is a nurse. She loves helping people. Her students are not part of her job, they are part of her life.

She is a good wife who loves her husband and brought him to Jesus. She is a good Mom who loves her kids and is teaching them to love Jesus.

She is a good daughter who loves her Mom and Dad -- tho now we are Mimi and Pops. I love that we get to sit together at church with our four generations.

But above all, she is not just my daughter. She is the daughter of the King. And I think I am most proud of that. And in truth, that's about the only thing I care about. That she is faithful. Not perfect -- another pattern there -- but faithful. Faithful daughter, faithful wife, faithful Mom. Everything else is just a bonus.

Love you Jules. Proud of you and yours.

What we did on our 38th anniversary...

2011-05-19T12:49:00.000-07:00

Well, I worked a couple of uncoming seminars on Sharing Our Story, set up a baptism in a prison, worked on a couple of sermons for this summer at Southern Hills, and starting outlining a seminar on using stories for spiritual counseling with Christians caught in sin. You know, same kind of stuff I was doing 38 years ago.

Marsha was cooking for a funeral meal, keeping a newborn for a working Mom, helping organize our graduating Seniors luncheon at church, and getting me packed for upcoming preaching trips. You know, same stuff she was doing 38 years ago.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. We still love lots, laugh hard, love our families, and spend our time sharing Jesus with friends and neighbors.

So what will we be doing on our 58th wedding anniversary? Well, if God wills that we are able, I would think the same dind of stuff we did today. The same kind of stuff we have always done.

Advice after 38 years. Pick someone who loves Jesus more than you. Pick a stayer. Pick someone you can count on when life gets tough. and someone you can celebrate with when life is good.

I did. And it's worked out well for me.

Thanks God.

Thoughts on spiritual leadership

2011-05-17T15:01:00.000-07:00

Random thoughts on leadership:

You have to have followers. If nobody follows you, you are not a leader. don't care what title you have, you aren't.

If you to tell everyone you are a leader, or ask to be a leader, you probably are not.

Being a boss is not the same as being a leader.

Being in charge is not the same as being a leader.

Leaders take people places, even if those following do not know the destination. They follow the leader.

Persuaders are not always leaders. Power to delegate does not make you a leader.

Who you are is more important to a leader than what you are.

God calls leaders in the church, not men. Men just need to recognize who God is calling, and who He is not calling.

Leaders are not always popular, or liked. But they are often loved.

The main function of a spiritual leader (whether leading your personal family or the family of God) is to follow Jesus personally.

The main goal is to get all your followers to Jesus.

Think about these principles in the life of Jesus.

What are some of your insights into spiritual leadership.

Antioch ministry staff...

2011-05-12T12:29:00.000-07:00

The church at Antioch was one of the most vibrant and active in the entire book of Acts. It is one of the few congregations where we know something about their ministry staff. They had 5 prophets (preachers) and teachers (see Acts 13). Two of them are well known: Barnabus and Paul. And those are the two they kept on the road doing mission work.

5 preachers on one staff. I wonder how they shared the pulpit. Did they take turns? Did they rotate by the month? Did they have multiple services? More to the point, is that the secret to their incredible growth?

We at Southern Hills are like most churches I know. We have 1 preacher. We have a large ministerial staff but they are not primarily teachers and preachers. They minister to us. They administer programs.

We are seeing a renewed emphasis on outreach thru our various programs, but they are still about us. We take care of ourselves. Some parts of me likes this because I do want our children and our young people to have faith. And I am not sure our parents are taking responsibility for that. Of course, if we didn't have professional staff, maybe they would.

Or maybe Simeon, Lucius, and Manaen were a youth minister, children's minister, and worship minister at Antioch. Paul was the missionary in residence and Barnabus was surely the main preacher.

Or maybe they were all prophets because the most important thing for a supported church staff is to teach and preach the Word.

Maybe they didn't care who was the main preacher. Maybe they didn't care about their titles. Maybe they just taught and preached about Jesus. And they grew.

So does that mean anything for the church today? Hve we gone about it all wrong? Should our ministers actually be preachers and teachers?

Not sure I know the answers. I just want to be sure we occasionally ask the question.

Your thoughts please.

Communial Core belief action

2011-05-10T13:57:00.000-07:00

I have shared that my core belief -- and that of Southern Hills -- is Jesus: specifically that he died for our sins, that he was buried, and that he was raised on the third day.

But it is more than an intellectual conviction. I entered into my core belief by being crucified with Christ in baptism.

But I also share with God's family in participating in this core. I Corinthians 10: 15 reminds us that our communion together is a participation in his blood (his death).

It is important to me that a core belief be something that can be lived. It is something I can participate in as an individual and in community.

The core belief is Jesus. I live it. We live it.

What a core belief means in my life...

2011-04-26T08:01:00.000-07:00

I belive that a core belief is more than just a set of doctines. It is not just what I beleive. It speaks to the core of who I am.

So if my core belief is Jesus, and specifically that he died for my sins and was raised from the dead, then what does that mean to me individually?

I made a conscious decision to participate in my core belief. I was baptized into the death of Jesus, I was buried with him, and raised to new life. Because I shared in his death, I will share in his resurrection. That is how Paul explained baptism in Romans 6. In Galatians 2, he writes of being crucified with Christ. Core belief that demands participation.

So when people ask what I believe, I don't just talk about something intellectual. My core belief is life. It is something that I can invite others to share in also.

In fact, you cannot "just" believe these facts about Jesus. You have to make a decision about him. To believe Jesus died for your sins and was raised from the dead demands a response.

I believe it, I have participated in it, I live it. And I will forever.

Core Belief: Jesus died for our sins ...

2011-04-19T14:42:00.000-07:00

Paul describes the core belief this way: Jesus died for our sins according to the Scriptures, he was buried, and he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures.

That is my doctrinal position. That is the core doctrine of Southern Hills. Jesus died for our sins, was buried, and came back to life.

When asked what we believe, it is that we are Jesus people. He died for our sins. Cross centered doctrine. Cross centered commitment. Cross centered living.

That's what we believe. That is who we are.

There is so much contained in that simple phrase. It is not about us, but Jesus. We are all sinners. We are all saved by the grace of the cross. We are forgiven.

We are Scripture people. His death and resurrection were foretold in the Old Testament Scriptures. That is the good news in the New Testament Scriptures.

He was buried. For three days. It is real.

He was raised. He came to life. We believe it. I believe it. Because he did... we will. I will.

That's it. That is what my core belief system is. Jesus died for my sins, he was buried, and he was raised. Cross and Resurrection.

That's who we are at Southern Hills.

Cross and Resurrection.

Core belief description

2011-04-14T14:54:00.000-07:00

I found the key to my core belief -- and to the one Southern Hills has adopted -- in a statement from Paul. Here is his description from I Corinthians 15:1-3.

the preached gospel (good news)

what the church recieved

where they have taken their stand

what they are saved by

first importance

I am not sure there be anything more core than that.

And it is Jesus.

That is my core belief. That is the core belief of Southern Hills church of Christ (description, not a title). Everything in my life and in my church must be about Jesus. He is the doctrine. He is the program. He is life.

Next time I'll look at what Paul says about Jesus. But for now, Jesus is the most important, he is the key to salvation, he is the place where I stand, he is the foundation of the church, and he is the good news.

Thinking about core beliefs

2011-04-12T14:52:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking quite a bit over the past few months about what is absolutely, without compromise, my core conviction. Our elders at Southern Hills have had vigerous thought and discussion about what our congregational core beliefs should be. I will share in later posts what we came up with -- and it fits with my personal conviction. But first I want to share the thought process. First of all, I wanted it to line up with Scripture. I want my core conviction to line up with what God says. Second, I wanted it to reflect Jesus. After all, I worship -- and serve as elder -- at a church of Christ and I believe that to be descriptive not a title. In practical terms, I wanted it to be easy to remember and to share. I am convinced that if we can not easily explain our beliefs to each other and to outsiders, then we are probably not going to be able to live in harmony with what we say is core. In other words, I wanted an answer to the question "so what does Southern Hills (or the church of Christ, or your church, or you) believe anyway?" I wanted it to something that translates into life. I am convicted that our beliefs must be something that can be lived out in this world. Something more than just intellectual assent, but that demanded life buy-in. Finally, I wanted to be sure it was only the things I could not -- would not -- compromise on. I wanted it to be the belief that any church I went to must have. I wanted it to be only what is essential for God's people. So there are lots of things I believe that are not part of my core beliefs. I believe them to be true and right, but not core. I did come up with three things that are my core beliefs. Our elders did too. Southern Hills members will be hearing more about this over the next few months. And obviously my core convictions and the ones of Southern Hills align. They may not work for everyone. Some may think core things are left out. Others may think things included are not core. But it is simple to understand, easy to share, and it is doable as kingdom people in this world. I will be sharing them over the next few posts. So in the meantime... what process do you value to determine your core beliefs? What did I miss that should have been factored in?

Jesus in the ICU

2011-03-30T14:52:00.001-07:00

Marsha and I went to the ICU to see Bill Merkel last night. Bill, Hymonda, their girls (and their families) have been like family to us (and our families) for over 35 years now. Bill had a heart valve replacement and is doing great. I am an elder in large part because of their influence. We got to see Bill and hold his hands and pray with him. Pretty neat that his nurse joined us in that. But while getting ready to go in and see Bill, we heard that Harry Whitt was in ICU. He was at Southern Hills years ago and has been active in prison ministry in and around Abilene for years. I have visited lots of offenders and ex-offenders with Harry over the years. So we left Bill and asked for Harry's room. He was not awake but prayed over him and left a note. While we were in the waiting room someone mentioned their was a group there from Minter Lane. Just because it is what we do, we started over to see if we knew them. Ann Hummel was the member in ICU. She was in one of my youth groups years ago and lives in our neighborhood. One of her older brothers, Dempsey Peterson -- also in our youth group and now a member at Minter -- was there and we got to catch up. Their oldest brother and his wife, Terry and Barbara Peterson graduated with me from High School and they were there. We have visited off and on when I would speak at Southgate in San Angelo where they are members. So we caught up with them. And after seeing Harry, we asked where Ann's room was. Nurses are curious by now and it was good to explain that we had lots of family in ICU and we were going to pray with and/or over every one of them. So we went to Ann's room and prayed with her. Never imagined all of that would happen from one visit to the ICU. You never know how -- or when -- God is going to use you. Or with whom. Church family. I love it. And I love being a shepherd ... even when my flock ends up being much bigger than just Southern Hills. Thanks God and You are amazing.

183 years of marriage...

2011-03-24T14:01:00.000-07:00

I think March is a great month for marriages. Marsha and I were married in May, but I still like March and here is why. My daughter Julie and Bobby celebrated 6 years of marriage this month. My folks celebrated 62 years, and Marsha's folks celebrated 66 years of married life.

That's 134 years of marriage just in March. Marsha and I will celebrate 38 years this May, and our son Joe Don and Jamie will hit 11 years in July. That makes 183 years our family will celebrate this year.

That is remarkable. Part of it is that obviously our folks live a long time. All four parents are in theie 80's. But here is the most amazing thing: probably 150 of those years have been great. You are wondering about the other 33 years. There have been some tough years in these marriages. Economic hardship. Never has been much money in any of these families. Sin struggles. None of the ten of these spouses are perfect. There are incredible stories of grace, restoration, and healing in these years. Sickness. Cancer, heart attacks, car wrecks, hospitals rooms waiting on test results, mental challenges. We have faced them all.

So what's the secret of making it this long? One is don't quit. Tough times come. And they go. We don't. We stay.

But here is the real key. And every one of the 10 of us would agree on the key to long - and happy - marriages.

It's God. Always God. The center of our lives and marriages is that He comes first.

So to Don and Jean Herttenberger (66 years), Joe and Juanita Ridgell (62 years), Steve and Marsha Ridgell (38 years come May), Julie and Bobby Gilbreth (6 years), and Joe Don and Jamie Ridgell (11 years this July) -- well done.

Anna, Jake, Avery, Andrew, and Austin: what a great heritage you have in faith and in marriage. You will continue this heritage.

So most of all ...

Thanks God.

Hell, God, and Who's in or out...

2011-03-23T06:51:00.000-07:00

It seems there is much talk these days about universal salvation, the reality of hell, defining what a "loving" God must mean, and the whole concept of judgment. Please know that I am not a theologian. I am not even a great thinker. Most of the famous evangelical writers will never have heard of me. Most people will never solicit my opinion about the great debate now going on about these things.

But there are certain things that seem clear to me.

Hell is real. I may not know everything about it, but I know this: I don't want to go there. I don't want anyone I love to go there.

I want to live forever with God. I want everyone to -- tho not as much as He does. But because of how much He does, I'm learning how much I do. That positive force is much stronger than my fear of hell. But that does not mean hell is not real.

I get very nervous when we try to explain God as if we understand Him. Get real. We can no more understand God than my dog understands me. I can love Him, I can worship Him, I can obey Him, I can know Him. Not sure I am able to understand Him. So I get nervous when people claim to explain God.

He is complex. I don't understand lots about the Old Testament, but some things God does I just don't understand. I guess that is why He is God. And not me. But I think there are things in the Old Testament that reveal certain aspects of His character. And some of them are scary.

If there is no hell, and no way a loving God could send anyone there, -- doesn't that take the edge off the urgency to make disciples of all nations? If it is going to get done in the end anyway, why the urgency to sacrifice to evangelize now?

Some of this debate sounds like second chance theology. Better to follow Jesus now, but if not... well, you'll get your chance eventually. You sure better be right if you are going to leave that impression.

I don't want to be judgmental about hell if I shouldn't be. I don't want to be judgmental about heaven either. I think judgment is God's business, not mine.

So I think I'll keep loving God and following Jesus. For me, that includes telling everyone I can about the good news of Jesus. I am like one snatched from the burning fire and made into royalty (Zecariah 3: 1-10). I want everyone else to have that too.

God loved me enough to send a Son to save me. That love compels me. So I''ll just keep snatching people out of the fire. God can explain exactly what it all means later. After all, He'll have an eternity to tell me.

I want to be right, be trendy, and be liked...

2011-03-09T14:54:00.000-08:00

I think everyone wants to be liked, even those of us who claim it doesn't matter. But it still hurts when people do not like us. I tend to think everyone is my friend and I am surprised if I ever find out someone does not like me. That makes it hard to be an elder sometimes. Elders have to make some hard decisions and -- tho we would certainly never say it this way -- it is hard to make a decision that you think some people will not like. We want to be popular and that makes it very hard to take stands that some will not like. Even if it is good for them, or best for the whole church family. And it is sure hard to confront people on spiritual issues.

We enjoy being trendy. I see things in our church of Christ fellowship that very much become the trendy, popular thing to say or do. We use buzz words that are code for the latest popular position. And if anyone happens to disagree with the latest and greatest trend, then we can dismiss them with a haughty remark about how they are stuck in the past, defending the status quo, don't get it, etc. No one seems to realize that in a couple of years there will be another trendy idea that we must embrace. Trendy ideas may be right ... or they may be wrong.

And we do want to be right. But being right about a decision is not always trendy or popular. So the older I get, the less I care about being popular or trendy. In fact, it may be a sign of maturing leadership that I really don't much care what people think.

So I have come up with my own test to use in making decisions. After every action, or every decision...

Will I be able to look my God in the face, my wife in the eyes, and myself in the mirror? If I can do those things, I made the best decision I could. If I fail any of those -- and no matter how popular I am with anyone else -- I made a bad decision.

So how do you make decisions in your church, or in your family, or at your workplace?

Helping us confess our sins to each other...

2011-03-03T14:22:00.000-08:00

If we are going to practice this spiritual discipline in fellowship, we must create an atmosphere of confession. We do a number of things at Southern Hills to facilitate this. Our Garden of Prayer helps. Elders walk the aisles among our flock, making ourselves available for prayer. Few people are going to walk down an aisle and "confess" their sin, but many will do it in a small group or with an individual elder. We set up many spiritual counseling sessions this way.

We celebrate success. We often refer to people who have found healing from their sin by coming to us for help. We speak of healed marriages and conquored addictions. We have testimonies from people who found healing.

Our leaders are authentic. I frequently say publicly that there is nothing one of our flock can confess to us that at least one on us has not struggled with -- or someone very close to us has. Nothing. We will not be shocked, we will not be disgusted, and we will help in healing.

We as leaders even confess sin and struggles. We have had elders acknowlege that at one time in their lives they were away from God, had marriages in trouble, struggled with sexual purity, and then we are able to point at healing in our own lives. If he can do it for us, he can do it for you.

Admitedly, not every individual elder or minister will be that transparent. But some of us are. And we don't give details publicly of our past sins, tho sometimes some do privately. But we are creating an atmosphere of confession.

We stress the outcome: healing. Confession is not what you do just because you got caught. It is not something you do generically. We don't think much of the whole "if I did anything to offend", or "they misunderstood", or "it's not my fault" confessions.

But we are trying. And God is healing. And the alcoholics are becoming sober. The sexual addicts are becoming pure. The angry are becoming sweet. The stingy are becoming givers. The captives are set free, the lame walk, and the blind see.

Every day by the power of God at work thru the community of his people.

Why I should confess my sins...

2011-03-01T14:26:00.000-08:00

"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."
James 5: 16

We need help. I spent a lot of years trying to handle my sin and struggles by myself. Didn't go so well. Not from lack of commitment and trying, but we are designed for community. I needed others to pray for me. I needed my sin out of the darkness so I had accountability. More importantly, so others could impart forgiveness and grace. Healing starts with confession.

"If we claim to be without sin, we decieve ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives."
I John 1: 8-10

Well, we all are sinners. Confess it and he will forgive. He will purify. So to not confess my sin is to effectively claim to be sinless. Confession is the doorway to being cleansed from our unrighteousness.

Secret sin will destroy you. Confessed sin leads to healing. Seems like an easy choice.

I shared in my last couple of posts why it is difficult to confess our sins to each other. Over the next few I'll talk about how to make it easier.

More reasons not to confess my sins...

2011-02-24T14:56:00.000-08:00

I heard from several of you by comments on the blog or in person. Here are four more reasons I heard for why people do not want to confess their sins to others.

My sin is not safe (or acceptable). In other words, confess the sin that you do not pray as much as you should, but not the sin of beating your wife.

I will not be taken seriously. Maybe this is the reverse of the one above. A sin may be serious to you and compromising your walk with God, but be trivialized by others.

They do not really want to help. Once I confess my sin, I am expecting and needing help. Do people really want to invest in other's lives that much?

If I confess my sin to someone, everyone will find out. Whether it is because I think people don't like me and are looking for a chance to hurt me... or I just think everyone gossips, this is a real fear.

I am sure there are more, but thanks for sharing these.

Confessing Sin...

2011-02-22T14:39:00.000-08:00

I have been in several sessions lately with someone who has been caught up -- and caught -- in sin. In almost every case, a wife or a friend asked "why didn't you tell us you were in trouble?" So I have been thinking about why it is so hard to confess sins to each other.

Sometimes it is shame. It is hard to acknowledge something that you are deeply ashamed of. It is even harder when you are convinced in your mind that everyone that hears it will be ashamed of you.

It might be pride. This is really true for parents, preachers, elders, church leaders. We worry about loss of influence, about whether we will lose credibility as leaders.

Fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of hurting someone we love. Fear that no one will love us if they find out how bad we are.

Bad memories. Some have tried to confess sin before only to have it go badly. Condemnation, disgust, anger, lack of forgiveness. It may have happened to them, or they may have seen it happen to others.

Never thought they would get caught. I do think some people do not confess sin because they think it is over and no one will ever find out.

Because they are a multiple offender. Everyone forgave me once and here I am right back in sin. They will not forgive me again. Or again. Or again.

Next time I may explore how to help each other learn to confess sin.

till then... what are some other reasons we do not confess our sins to each other.

Mr. Deacon....

2011-02-18T13:06:00.000-08:00

My cousin, Eppie Elmore, just resigned as a Deacon from the Winnsboro church of Christ after 35 years. Wow. I think that kind of service and dedication should be celebrated. Now I admit he is my cousin so I may be biased, but that is awesome. He is battling some health issues so cannot be as active as he wants so he is stepping down.

His wife Lou converted Eppie. And my Mom and Dad have been their spiritual role models so we have lots of connections. And I preached at their congregation when our kids were little and they were a great early influence in their life.

Eppie never wants the limelight, and he will think I shouldn't have written this. He and Lou just serve people. They have cooked, worked, evangelized, set up, drove vans, taken people to the hospital, and so much more than anyone will ever know.

And they still will. As long as they are able. Sometimes we wait until people have gone home before we celebrate them. I hope they have many more years. But this is fantastic.

So Eppie -- well done. 35 years of serving people and giving all the glory to God. You and Lou are two of my spiritual heros.

God, help me to be more like Eppie.

How old people celebrate Valentine's day...

2011-02-14T13:33:00.000-08:00

Marsha and I have been married almost 38 years so we have spent a lot of Valentine weekends together. Here's what ours looked like this year. Saturday morning my son-in-law and I met over at Marsha's folks to do a couple of projects for them. Then I took Grandpa up to the farm and tackled some of the projects he can't get to any more. Got home in time to work in the yard on a couple of projects that don't get done when I'm preaching away most weekends.

Saturday night we kept Julie and Bobby's kids while they ate out with their small group from church. Ended up keeping the kids all night. Bobby had to take Julie to the emergency room with a horrific migrane (think she'll be OK. thanks God). I got to sleep on the floor with Jake --I probably thought that was fun too when I was 5, not so much at 59. Avery slept in my bed with Mimi.

Church Sunday morning involved lots of visiting, counseling, an annointing, and some praying. Of course, we were doing this in different orbits but it is what we enjoy. Decided to go to Jason's Deli for lunch. Saw 4 or 5 groups from Southern Hills so we got to do some more visiting and eldering.

Then it happened. We were eating -- her healthy sandwich and my loaded potatoe --when I looked up and saw her. I know this will sound wierd but even after all these years it still happens at those unexpected moments. She took my breath away. I realized again how really beautiful she is.

Maybe it's because she is such a great Mom and a Mimi. Maybe it's because I watch her with people and realize how good she is at being there and listening. Maybe it's because she loves me so much. But she still lights up the room for me. Still takes my breath away.

Now you're thinking ... what's next. Well... Sunday afternoon we cleaned the house because we hosted small group at our house. But tonight we'll finally celebrate Valentine's. As soon as she gets thru taking her Dad to the Doctor, checking on her Mom and helping with the grandkids after school. And as soon as I get back from running to the hospital to check on one of our neighbors.

And we'll sit down over cooked out steaks ... and I'll look up and she'll take my breath away and once again I'll thank God for her.

And that's a pretty good Valentine. For old folks. And maybe for young ones too.

Elders studying baptism

2011-02-09T14:49:00.000-08:00

Our elders at Southern Hills are studying various topics together this year -- not with any agenda in mind but just because it is important for us to study Scripture both as an example to our flock and to be able to lead our flock. Our first topic was baptism and in our first session we primarily just looked at Scriptures dealing with baptism.

So let me share a few of my personal reflections after this study.

Baptism in Scripture is seen as the response to Jesus. It is variously seen as the way to die with him, to participate in the gospel, to believe in him, and to call on his name.

It is not so much a doctrine as it is a decision to follow Jesus. In Churches of Christ we have historically emphasized the fact that baptism is where sins are forgiven and the gift of the Holy Spirit is recieved (tho we did not give that near as much emphasis). While these facts are true, that emphasis does not adequately reflect how core baptism is in Scripture.

I am struck by how narrow our view of baptism has been when we reduced it to one of five steps that led to salvation. I am not sure at all that is a Biblical view.

Baptism is the response to Jesus. I just cannot see how even a casual reading of Scripture could lead anyone to think that one could become a follower of Jesus and not be baptized. You would never believe that based on a reading of Scripture.

The truest Biblical description of baptism is death. It is when we are crucified with Christ.

Those are my initial reflections. By the way, this month we are going to look at various ways these passages have been interpreted in our fellowship and by others. I suspect that will solidify some of the thoughts I have expressed here.

Feel free to react. I enjoy learning from you.

Parenting Advice

2011-01-27T12:58:00.000-08:00

So how do you identify a good parent? You look at their kids.

It is always hard to talk about what makes a good parent. Part of that is because we are so uncomfortable with kids who have not turned out well. We emphasize techniques and processes. Do this, do that, and you are a good parent. Then we hasten to add that even if you are a good parent, your kids may not turn out so well anyway.

That always makes me uncomfortable. I am not sure I am comfortable telling Godly parents that Satan and this world may prove stronger. I just don't think I believe that.

But at the same time, I am not sure that learning the "mechanics" of good parenting is the right answer either. I am unable to explain how parents that seemed to do everything right have kids that did not turn out so well.

So let me offer a few thoughts.

Define what good means for your parenting. For me, it comes down to one thing. Are my kids faithful Christians? That's it. Anything else is a bonus. And without that, nothing else really matters in the long run. Maybe that will help you focus your parenting time and energy.

Good does not mean perfect. My own kids made lots of mistakes -- tho not as many as their Dad. Sometimes they made poor choices. But they never lost their faith, never quit on Jesus. So don't expect from your kids something you can't deliver yourself.

Don't sweat the little stuff. My kids do not agree with me on every aspect of worship and doctrine and life. Big deal. They nailed the critical stuff: Jesus is Lord, be crucified with him, live in community, live out faith, share it with others.

Look for the movie, not the snapshot. Sometimes it is helpful to view your child's life as a whole, and not focus on where they are at any one given moment in time.

My parenting days are over. I am friends with my kids now. We are thru raising them. If I die tomorrow, I will have accomplished one of the purposes God had for me: I have turned two believers out into this world. And between them, they are turning out five more. Are they doing everything the way I would -- or did? No, and sometimes I think it is good and sometimes I am not so sure. But they are good parents I think. I will know in about 20 years. And so will they.

So what is the key? What are the processes and techniques? I don't know. As I have said before, the only things I am sure of about parenting are these: love God, love your mate, love your kids. Pray lots.

I sure messed up lots of techniques and processes, but I nailed the big ones. Mostly because I never quit. And maybe that is one of the keys. Never give up. God didn't quit on me and He is the perfect role model for a Dad.

So thanks God. Above all, they were -- and are -- your kids before they were -- and are -- mine.

Elder Study

2011-01-25T15:08:00.000-08:00

This year our eldership at Southern Hills is devoting one meeting per month to studying the Scripture together. We are inviting our ministry staff to participate in these with us. It is important to us as elders that we lead the congregation based on God's Word. It is too easy to make decisions based on our traditional view of what we think Scripture says. In the same way, it is easy to jump on the latest trendy opinion without solid Biblical foundation.

We are not studying any topics with an agenda to change... or to stay where we are. We do want to see what the Bible says, discuss what it means, and see if there are applications for Southern Hills today.

Among the topics we are looking at this year are baptism, elder qualifications and function, corporate worship (particularly use of instruments and acapella worship), women's role in the assembly, and the Lord's supper.

Some will be upset and afraid that we are studying these topics -- either afraid we will change or afraid we won't. So again ... no agenda. Just leaders who believe we owe it to our flock to lead by example in seeking to know God's will. We may in the future lead the congregation in these studies also.

The first topic is baptism. We have made it a big deal. We need to why. So tomorrow night we are reviewing what Scripture says about this subject. Later we will look at what it means. And then how it relates and applies to us.

I am excited about this. I may even share some of my thoughts and conclusions as we work thru these things.

Feel free to share your thoughts.

Who is denominational?

2011-01-18T14:46:00.000-08:00

In a discussion the other day about local churches working with para-church ministries, the point was made that the non-profit wanted everyone to know they were non-denominational and would not tolerate the insertion of denominational doctrine. This usually means they are concerned about the "church of Christ" doctrine of baptism as opposed to the "non-denominational" doctrine they practice: the believer's prayer.

I find that interesting. First of all, they have the right to hold to any doctrine they wish. It is their non-profit, not mine. They do not have to agree with me and I do not have to support them if I do not agree with them. I just find it odd that something in the Bible is labeled as denominational, while something not mentioned in the Bible is non-denominational.

Very strange. It occured to me that most of us think what we believe is non-denominational and anyone that disagrees is denominational.

So for me, I think the safest thing is just to stick with the Bible. No one has to agree with me, just don't draw lines where God did not and then call me denominational.

Just some of my reflections.

Thoughts?

Jake turned five Sunday...

2011-01-11T14:38:00.000-08:00

My grandson Jake Gilbreth turned five Sunday and gave me one of the greatest weekends of my life.

It started with the birthday party at the zoo. It was fantastic. But I really enjoyed watching Jake interact with everyone. He is sweet, polite, and generous. It's pretty cool to see your grandson becoming a good person.

But it was two other things that really stood out to me. He colored pictures for everyone who came to his party. 30 or more pictures. He gave one to everyone, including zoo personnel, accompained by a "thank-you for coming to my party." You are thinking that got to me because it reflects the whole becoming a good person thing. Nope. It gets to me because I think how much he is starting to reflect how Jesus treats people. I hope he never changes.

Sunday was his birthday and I happened to be preaching at Southern Hills. As is our custom, Jake went to Kid's Praise Time after our children's offering. I was just starting my sermon when he and his Dad came walking back into the auditorium. Bobby had told Jake I was preaching and Jake wanted to come hear Pops. Sat still and focused the whole time. Now that could be because my preaching is on about a five year old's level. It could because Bobby told him OK but only if he sat still.

But I choose to think it was tied up what Pops and Jesus mean to Jake. And I like that. He may not understand it all now. But he will. I pray everyday for Jake (and for Avery, Anna, Andrew, and Austin). I pray they will keep learning to live like Jesus.

So it was Jake's birthday, but I got the present. Oh yeah, he also told me that for his birthday he would come spend the night any time I wanted. I'll take him up on that.

So I love you Jake. You make me proud. And more important, you make God proud. Keep it up. (Mom, you will have to read this to him. He's smart, but not that smart yet.)

Deborah and Women Deacons?

2011-01-05T14:08:00.000-08:00

I almost did not blog about Deborah, but since she is sometimes used as justification for what women should do in terms of leadership today I thought I would share a couple of quick thoughts.

Remember that she is an Old Testament judge, so she was not an elder, deacon or preacher.

She was, however, a prophetess and is described as leading Isreal. So at one time, God's people were led by a woman. So does that establish a principle for women leading today? I would be careful with trying to prove a point with that. If it means that men and women are equal and both could -- or should -- lead God's people, then why is she the only female judge mentioned. There are lots of male judges. Was there only one female qualified? Was she the only female with the spiritual conviction to step up and lead? You would think if God wanted to make a point about female leadership, He would have mentioned other female judges.

On the other hand, be careful to dismiss what the Bible says. She was leading Isreal. I have heard people say it was only because the men of Isreal would not step up that she had to lead. I am not sure Scripture teaches that. Much is made of Barak' situation (remember that Deborah told him to attack Sisera he said only if she went. She agreed but said the honor would not come to him, but to a women), but I am not sure he should be called a failure since he is listed in Hebrews 11 as a hero of the faith.

So what does Deborah have to do with female deacons, or women's role in the church? Maybe not one thing. I just know I want to be careful using Scripture to prove a point I have already decided is the correct position.

Next post I will give some wrap-up thoughts.

What about Phoebe?

2010-12-21T06:49:00.000-08:00

When people bring up Phoebe in the discussion about women deacons I am reminded how much we love proof texts -- even while claiming we do not. And I also am reminded that we love to explain verses based on what we already believe.

Phoebe is referred to as a servant, or as a deacon. The question is whether this described her position or her life. If you believe there are women deacons, this is the best you will get in terms of a proof text. If you do not, you will think that people twist this verse to prove a point.

Most translations say "servant". She clearly is an important person in Christian ministry. She may even be carrying this letter to the church in Rome. So was she a deaconess in the sense of a recognized and appointed servant?

If you just use this passage, of course you could make that arguement. If you read I Timothy 3, it is harder to make that arguement. Phoebe would be the only clear reference to female deacons in the New Testament. If it were important, I wish God had made it clearer.

But it is sure hard to read this verse and argue that women have no role in the church as ministers or those with recognized functions. In fact, read in I Timothy 5. There are "official" widows with recognized tasks.

Personally, I lean to the position that Phoebe was not a recognized deaconess, but I do believe she was doing some form of ministry in the church at Cenchrea.

More later.

More on Deacons: Acts 6

2010-12-15T14:27:00.000-08:00

One of the passages frequently studied when discussing deacons is Acts 6. Since my focus on these occasional posts is about the subject of women deacons, I am just going to make a few comments as it pertains to that subject.

First of all, this passage does not say the men selected here are deacons. The work is refered to by apostle's as "waiting on tables", but we have made the assumption these are deacons. Scripture does not say that.

They clearly selected men, not women, to do this ministry. They were told to select men. It seems the entire church, including women, was involved in the selection.

If there was ever a need that could have been filled by using women deacons, this would seem to be it. It was about taking care of widows. And I do not believe there were no women full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom. But it was seven men they chose. And, by the way, it does not say who actually did the work. They picked seven men to handle it. For all I know, they used women to do the actual organization.

I don't know if these men were married or not. I Timothy indicates deacons should be married. So either you assume these men were married, or you assume they were not deacons.

If you are convinced that deacons are men only, this is a great passage to use based on what you can infer. If you are convinced that women can be deacons, focus on the fact that the word deacon is not used here.

As for me, I would never teach that this proves women cannot be deacons. It does not say that. I do teach that men were selected to handle this potentially devisive crisis. Because that's what it says.

So were these men Deacons? Maybe. Maybe they were just ministry leaders. Maybe they were just seven wise, Godly men who fixed this problem. At least two of them (Stephen and Phillip) were preachers. But they were not women.

So what do you think? More to follow later.

Deacons/deaconess and I Timothy 3

2010-12-09T14:56:00.000-08:00

This is the passage that says more about Deacons than anywhere else. You have discussions of the kind of men who are to be elders, then in verses 8-10 it speaks of Deacons. Verse 11 talks about women, then verses 12 and 13 about deacons.

I am not a scholar. And there are lots of theologians who debate what this passage means, but let me share some observations and questions.

Deacons are called men in verse 8 and are to be the husband of one wife according to verse 12. That sure seems to mean men. If verse 11 is about female deacons, I have to assume they do not need to be married since there is no mention of one husband.

Almost all translations say "wives", not "women".

It would seem to be the most natural interpretation.

However... why is there no discussion of elder's wives? And if this is about wives of both elders and deacons, it is in an unusual place.

If God wanted this to refer to female deacons, why use the word for women/wife? Why not just say Deaconess?

If this does refer to a position held by women, then it is clear that women can not be elders because chapter 2 has the instruction about women not teaching or having authority over a man. Of course, a Deaconess would be a position of service, not authority.

If it does refer to a Deacon's wife, would that make them a Deaconess? In other words, is a married Servant couple a Deacon and Deaconess.

Now, feel free to answer, question, or rebut (or agree) with any and all. I learn lots from your comments.

Servant or Deacon

2010-11-30T14:12:00.000-08:00

It starts with the name. The Greek word is deacon and it means servant. So the question becomes why it is sometime translated (servant) and sometimes transliterated (deacon). How do you know if the word refers to someone who is designated with responsibilities (Deacon) or if it is someone who is a doing service? How do you decide which way to translate the word? Is it a designation or a description?

I do believe it clearly is used in different ways in different places. In I Timothy 3 the word must mean something besides just being a servant or you can only do service if you are a married man. But it can't always mean Deacon or in Mark you would describe Jesus as not coming to be deaconed, but to deacon.

So it seems to me that context must be used to see the difference between describing an office -- or someone with the designation of servant -- and describing someone who is doing service. That would seem to be what most translations have done. In I Timothy, they have used the context to assume Deacon is an office. They have assumed Phoebe in Romans 16 to be one who does service. Doesn't make them right, but does show the process of using context.

So what does that have to do with whether women should be deacons? Only that when you insist on speaking about how the word deacon should be used, be sure to look at context. It means differnt things in different places.

In the future, I will look at some of the verses about deacons.

Let me hear your thoughts.

Thanks God

2010-11-24T09:19:00.000-08:00

...for the fact that are celebrating this holiday with with all four great-grandparents still with us and active. What a spiritual heritage and our grandkids are beginning to know that.

... for letting me hear Joe Don teach last Sunday. He is gifted, he has credibility with his peers, and he gets it. I learned from him.

... for my grandson Jake asking for a basket for Christmas. He wants to fill it with food for the homes that don't have food. Glad his parents are teaching him.

... for hearing grandkids singing their favorite songs: So Beautiful, Mighty to Save, and Holy, Holy (the Revelation Song).

Four parents that have modeled following Jesus, a wife that shows me Jesus every day, four kids that are intentional about passing on their faith, and five grandkids who fill our lives with joy.

And a God who is going to let me live with him forever.

I may be the most thankful man ever.

Deacon/Deaconess

2010-11-17T14:51:00.001-08:00

Southern Hills recently went thru a selection process for Deacons. There was much spirited discussion among elders and ministers about the whether women should serve officially as Deacons. Our elders decided that Deacons should be men, tho we do have a number of women serving as ministry leaders. And a number of men chose not to be Deacons but continue leading in certain ministries. So I thought I might share my thoughts on this.

First let me say that this issue has been discussed and debated for centuries in the church. I know strong scholars on both sides of the issue. I do not believe this is a salvation issue. I don't believe that church organization issues determine who is saved. That is not to say that there is not truth on the subject. Women either were -- or were not -- Deacons in the New Testament. And they either can -- or they can't -- be Deacons today. It is even possible that it doesn't matter.

They basic positions are: Deacons are men only, or deacons may be men or women. There is a third position rarely talked about: that couples (husband and wive) serve together as Deacons.
I am not a scholar. I am certainly not a Greek scholar. But I will look at some pertinent passages and try to raise a few questions. So over the next few posts I will look at the word deacon, I Timothy 3, Acts 6, Phoebe, and Deborah.

And let me add one more thing. Most Christ centered people I know are not concerned about titles. But the Southern Hills elders had to decide whether to have Deacons or not, and whether they could be men and women or not. So I have thought, studied, and prayed about this. I do not agree 100% with how we addressed this issue. I didn't agree with everything preached on this. And everyone didn't, and won't, agree with me on everything. But best of all, our congregation accepted the decision and all went forward. Unity in spite of differences. Pretty cool concept.

Drawing lines over baptism

2010-11-03T14:53:00.001-07:00

I have been in a number of discussions recently over the subject of baptism and fellowship. Often it is phrased as "...how can you say someone is going to hell just because they are not baptized"?. Or "why is your business who's in or out?" Or, "why draw lines when Jesus didn't?"

First of all, I don't say people who are not baptized are going to hell. That is God's business. But at the same time, don't ask me to say someone not baptized is going to heaven -- which is what I would be saying if I extend fellowship to them. That would be going against what I believe God says. I hope God saves everyone who believes in Jesus, baptized or not. But I am not arrogant enough to encourage people to not worry about something that I believe is clearly taught in Scripture. I would be violating my conscience to ignore what I believe God says. And I would be a hypocrite to ignore what I believe in order to please men.

I am not deciding who is "in or out". I just want to be faithful to God and what He says to do to express my faith in His Son. Since I am a shepherd of a congregation of God's people I do have the responsibility, along with my fellow shepherds, to have core convictions for those wanting to be part of God's family. If you don't agree with baptism, there are fellowships that would accept you. You have to do what you believe God wants, as do I. If I am wrong, I'll see you in heaven. If I'm right, I pray God will extend mercy to those who listened to men instead of Him.

And Jesus would wonder why we are drawing lines over baptism when he did not. I think he would wonder why anyone would not be baptized. The line is not drawn because we are baptized. It is being drawn when we are not.

So yes, I believe it is essential that you express your faith in Jesus by being crucified with him in baptism and being raised to a new life. Even writing this reminds me of how incredible is God's grace. I die. I live forever. Wow. My sin nailed to the cross. My Lord nailed to the cross. And then me with him. That's it. It is amazing grace. Thanks God.

The church/Church of Christ name...

2010-10-19T15:01:00.000-07:00

I like the name church of Christ. I think it is Biblical and I am proud to have grown up in a church that identifies itself so closely with Jesus. I do wonder about the concern that we must identify ourselves as Church of Christ. Do we have to have a name, or a title, for our church? There are certainly other names just as Biblical, but I am not sure the early church identified itself by a name.

The problem is that we quit using church of Christ as a description and began to use it as an identifier for a particular group of believers. I am absolutely convinced that there have been Christians who worshipped together without using that specific name. I do not think dropping the name Church of Christ makes one not a member of the church of Christ.

I do not even have a problem with a heritage that generally identifies itself by using one name prodominantly. I do have a problem with insisting that we can only use one name. Jesus thought we would be identified because of our love for each other.

So should we drop the name Church of Christ? I don't think it matters. There are some who have a negative image of the people they associate with that name. But I rarely run into that any more. In fact, most people outside the church of Christ either have no idea who we are, or they have a positive image of us.

I introduce myself as a Christian who worships with the church of Christ. Locally, I introduce myself as a Christian who worships at Southern Hills. Most everyone knows us. If they ask what that is, I tell them a church of Christ.

So I am happy to be a member of the church of Christ. I am proud of belonging to the church of Christ. But I don't much care if I am seen as a member of the Church of Christ. One describes who we are. The other is more about what we are... or are not. And to remind me of the destinction, I do not capitalize church. It helps me remember the difference between a description and a title.

Just me, but I want to be a "who" more than a "what".

Share your thoughts.

Churches of Christ and church autonomy...

2010-10-05T15:11:00.000-07:00

I am not sure how I feel about church autonomy. On the one hand, I agree with the historical church of Christ position that it is hard to find a multi-church structure in the New Testament. I think we have correctly taught that Peter was not anything other than a local church elder. It does appear that in the New Testament each congregation had elders that oversaw that church. But I have a hard time being dogmatic about it because of the Jerusalem church. Acts 15 seems to violate the doctrine of strict congregational authority to some degree. And if the men in Acts 6 were deacons, which congregation in Jerusalem did they serve? Or were there many house churches in Jerusalem under one eldership?

So is the model of various "campuses" under a local church eldership reflective of the Jerusalem church? Evangelical churches have long favored this model and you are seeing more churches of Christ try this approach. We at Southern Hills are wrestling with a model that incorporates Home Gatherings (house churches) into the Southern Hills family under our elders.

But my biggest question is why the incredible disconnect between a theology that insists on local church autonomy while in practice many congregations stick their nose into the business of other congregations? We have congregations that withdraw fellowship from congregations that they have never even met, much less had fellowship with. Congregations criticize other congregations and question decisions other elderships make. To claim we have no "denominational" structure is at odds with the many who want to construct lists of "faithful" churches.

Just reminds me that it is easy to claim right answers when looking at other groups, but hard to practice the same theology in our own group.

Just my thoughts.

Church of Christ worship

2010-09-14T14:21:00.000-07:00

This was an interesting thought process for me. I realized I like much of what we do in worship. I am thankful and appreciative of much of what I think we got right. And I realized most of what I like I learned about for wrong reasons.

Our emphasis on attending worship is absolutly right on. It is Biblical and spiritual for God's people to meet together. The theology of the Lord's Supper is sound. Our emphasis on the Word is important. I like communal prayer and praise. I learned to give because it was part of our worship.

I like acapella singing. It can facilitate speaking to one another, and it can certainly make it easier to involve the entire congregation. And I think it is incredibly moving and inspirational for non-believers who visit our services. I have no problem asserting it as a right way to praise God.

But much of what I heard taught about worship was not how to do it right, but how not to do it wrong. And most of that was by interpretation and learned inference. It was not in Scripture. How we do traditionally serve communion was not just right... any other way was wrong. Scripture doesn't say much about how to partake of communion.

The "five acts of worship" became a checklist that had to be fulfilled. Very action oriented. And do not do them incorrectly. Even tho -- again -- there is little in Scripture about the mechanics of worship. And I could not figure out how preaching was an act of worship but not Scripture reading.

The reasons I love our singing are theological and practical. I'm not sure they are Biblical arguements. And to teach the Bible says instumental music is wrong requires a great deal of explaining what the text could mean if you already know that it is wrong. And of course, pitch pipes don't count because they are "aids", not worship. That's a tough sell Biblically.

But I am thankful I grew up in a heritage that values worship. And so did my kids. And their kids are. And I am glad. How can we claim to be a people of God and not gather together?

Churches of Christ and Scripture...

2010-09-08T14:51:00.000-07:00

L am so thankful to have been raised in a fellowship that puts a high value on Scripture. The church of Christ has long had a reputation as a people of the Book. We studied it, memorized it, debated what it meant, and claimed it as the basis for our faith and practice. Sermons were built around the text.

I also love the fact that every Christian was expected to study the Scriptures personally. It was not enough to hear someone else talk about it. We knew it for ourselves. Bible School was a big deal. I hope and pray we never lose that intensity and focus on the Word.

However, we can certainly abuse our knowledge. Our intensity and passion about what we each think Scripture says can sure cause a lot of fussing and fighting. We can split churches because everyone does not read the Bible the same way. So we have a hard time agreeing to disagree.

Because we place so much emphasis on the Word, we sometimes assume everything we do is what the Bible teaches. And we have a difficult time sorting out what the Bible says from what it teaches based on stories and principles. For example, the Bible is explicit about the sin of homosexuality (what the Bible says). Teaching about internet pornography is not stated, but is taught from application of Scripture ( the "lust" passages). So we need to be careful about the difference between what the Bible says and what it teaches -- and what we interpret it to say or teach.

We were sometimes very inconsistent with how we applied Scripture. We can debate the exact meaning of all Scripture concerning Deacons (men, couples, women, etc.), but I never remember anybody worrying about the I Timothy 5 teaching on widows. Our elders at Southern Hills annoint with oil (see James 5), but growing up that was one of the verses "explained away".

And we have had a difficult time with what to do about the silence of the Scriptures. Is it permissive or prohibitive?

But having said all of that, I sure am glad that I had Church of Christ parents, preachers, teachers, and friends who valued the Word of God as something I needed to know. It's important.

So what do you think?

Lord's Supper: Right and Wrong...

2010-08-31T13:54:00.000-07:00

So... remembering this is just my opinion as someone who has spent their lives in the church of Christ fellowship, I thought I would share what I believe we have gotten right and wrong about the Lord's Supper.

Our theology concerning the centrality of the Lord's Supper in worship is right. As is our weekly observance of it. It seems clear from Scripture that this was the practice of the New Testament church.

I do like that we have historically emphasized the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross for our sins. I rarely partake of communion in churches of Christ without someone leading us in a prayer of thanksgiving for the saving act of Jesus.

I appreciate our connection from the "upper room" before Jesus died all the way until he comes again.

I have never thought our practice matched our theology. In most congregations I am aware of, the central act of worship is the preaching. We spend more time on it and we seem to build the assembly around the sermon.

We have badly missed the communial aspect of Communion. Traditionally, we have taken the Lord's Supper individually and in isolation from the rest of those in the assembly. It is as if we decided reverence and fellowship are mutually exclusive.

We lost the sense of celebration that the Lord's Supper should provide. I have heard many men say "let's celebrate the Supper together". Then we move into full funeral mode. Much emphasis on the death, not so much the resurrection.

We made it into an act of worship that needs to be checked off on Sundays. So we have people come just in time for communion and slip out after. We even had Sunday evening worship with communion for those who were "providentially hindered" from attending morning services. As if God kept someone from coming to church. Then they had to take it by themselves. Not very reflective of Scripture.

And of course, we have the Lord's "Supper" with no meal attached. We do the Lord's snack. The Corinthians were taken to task for not being truly communial in their practice. We aren't very communial either. We just abuse it in a different way.

I started this little series with posts on baptism and Lord's Supper for a reason. I believe they are the two things identified most closely with the Gospel -- the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. I do gospel (baptized) as an individual when I become a Christian. I then do gospel (Lord's Supper) at least weekly with my brothers and sisters until I go home or the Lord returns. I even tell people the death and resurrection of Jesus is our core belief at Southern Hills and we live it out in baptism and Communion.

So I am thankful for my church of Christ heritage. We nailed the theology. If we only get two things right, these are the two core things. But I hope we will do a better job aligning our practice with our theology. Neither of these are "acts". Not of salvation or of worship. They are the two ways we share in the death and resurrection of Jesus.

So, let me hear your thoughts.

Baptism: what we got right... and wrong in churches of Christ

2010-08-24T12:47:00.000-07:00

I admit to being frustrated sometimes at those in the church of Christ who want to spend most of their time pointing out what we have done wrong. And I am even more frustrated when I realize they are often right. But there are many things we have gotten right and can be of great value to Christianity as a whole. So over the few posts I am going to share my thoughts on some of these. Today I start with baptism.

What we got right: the core centrality of baptism to the conversion experience. Only in the last 150 or so years among American evangelicals has the idea of salvation apart from baptism been taught. God's Word is clear that baptism is the faith response to God's gift of grace. The emphasis on forgiveness of sins is Biblical. It is the time when God puts His Spirit in us.

We are right to immerse. That is the meaning of the word baptism. We are right to insist it is an act of faith.

There is a real reversal of thought in evangelical circles about the place of baptism. Much of the thought has been initiated by people raised in churches of Christ. I am proud of our heritage and of our faithfulness to what God said about baptism. So I am thrilled to know that lost people are being baptized all over this world by Christians who are not "Church of Christ", tho certainly church of Christ.

What we got wrong: too much emphasis on what baptism accomplished without teaching what it was -- a death. I heard the phrase "obey the gospel" for years before I realized that literally meant being crucified, buried, and raised with Jesus. I thought it was just a code word for baptism. We failed to emphasize that baptism was a death.

We made it one of a five step process: hear, believe, repent, confess, and be baptized. When we taught it that way, it was hard to argue that we did not see it as a work. We called it a step -- we should have called it a death.

We too often treated baptism as the end, not the beginning. Lots of work to get them in the baptistry, not so much after. No wonder so many of our children were baptized -- and so many of them were never faithful. And we put so much emphasis on the act that we baptized little kids because they understood the "act". Lots of them re-baptized when they figured out what it really meant.

We can argue about young people leaving our fellowship and worshipping with groups that do not understand baptism. Maybe it is because we didn't teach it well.

Just my thoughts. Feel free to share yours.

On hospitals and Jesus

2010-08-19T14:31:00.001-07:00

My mother-in-law is in the hospital for a procedure on her back -- compressed vertebrae and a fracture from a fall. She has pain management issues so we are praying this works. And because I look for Jesus, I thought I would share where I saw him in the hospital this week.

I saw him in my in-laws. They hug every nurse. They tell everyone where they go to church. They hold hands after 65 years of marriage. There was Jesus.

I saw him in our Doctor. We go to church with Chad, but you have to love a Doctor who starts the discussion with "God will get you thru this", and ends it with "I love you."

I saw Jesus in the way Marsha takes care of her folks. It was a "God thing" that she retired this year.

I saw him in the way Julie our daughter came to sit with Granny and hold her hand.

I saw him in elders and preachers that came by to visit and pray.

And, not at the hospital but related, I saw him when the Southern Hills elders prayed for her last night.

And I saw him when Julie's husband Bobby mowed Grandpa's yard for him.

The hands and feet and eyes of Jesus were all over the hospital this week. I'm glad I could see him. Thanks Jesus.

So where did you see Jesus this week?

Austin James Ridgell

2010-08-13T14:22:00.000-07:00

Our fifth grandchild, Austin James Ridgell, arrived last Monday night at 10:30 p.m. This one has been different than the first 4. The first month of his life, Jamie had some issues early in her pregnancy that concerned us. Then last week, Austin got himself turned around and that caused some concern. Then Monday night, he had some respiratory issues that caused him to have to stay in the Neo-natal ICU. He is fine now -- as are Jamie and Joe Don -- and they are all home. So here are some of my thoughts.

I am so humbled to see the faith of my kids. We prayed lots for Jaimie and for Austin, but both JD and Jamie both maintained a confidence that God would deliver Austin and an assurance that God would still be God no matter what.

It is a helpless feeling as a parent when they take your kid to ICU. It is not any better when it's your grandkid.

Nice to have 4 great grandparents who are powerful prayer warriors and to know they were praying thru this whole process. Also nice to have a small group who pray for your kids as if they were theirs. And good to know my elder buddies were praying.

Watching your son hold his son's hand and talk to him and pray over him is an incredible experience. I couldn't get in to ICU so I snuck right up to the front door and prayed there. No one ever tried to move me away.

Touching to see the steady stream of church friend's coming by to see the new arrival.

Interesting to have one of their friend's recognize me from hearing me preach in Abilene. Said nice things. Told me what a great Bible class teacher JD is. Then admitted she never realized we were father and son. Interesting, but nice to hear. I think someday people will talk about JD, Andrew and Austin's teaching that way.

Jamie's tough.

I am a blessed man.

Thanks God.

Directional Christianity

2010-08-03T14:52:00.000-07:00

Thinking about "directional" Christianity lately.

Some Christians are "downward" focused. Everything they do is driven by guilt or fear of Hell. Symptoms include lots of talk about duty and work. Often ends up in legalistic expressions of spirituality because of the fear that we may not get everything right. Key assumption: we can get everything right... and we better. Or else.

Some are "inward" focused. The key expression of spirituality is worship. And by that, they mean worship as they like it to be. Discussion is about how there is a right way to worship, or a more effective way to worship. And they always happen to be the way we like worship to be. Symptoms include lots of buildings, ministry staff, and programs. Often results in active youth groups with multiple ministers and programs. And change (replace staff or find another congregation) if children's needs are not being met. Key assumption: we have to change the church to fit the correct blueprint before we can really please us ... oops, I mean please God.

"Outward" focused Christianity is heavy on evangelism and missions. The hot trend among these Christians today is service projects, seeker friendly assemblies, and on meeting the needs of our communities. It is easy for these Christians to drift into guilt, works, and an endless search for the next sure-fire program to reach the lost. Key assumption: the most important call is the Great Commission, and the truely passionate and committed "get it".

"Upward" focused Christianity is the only one that really lasts. It is manifested by an intense desire to please God, realizing that worship is about Him, not us. It realizes that ministry is about His glory, never ours. It understands the purpose of evangelism is to bring people to a right relationship with God. Key assumption: everything is about God.

I find myself desiring to be an upward Christian, but those of you who know me well know that I can get into the outward focus very easily. And it is obvious that I have little patience for downward or inward focused Christianity. I shepherd in a church that strives to be upward focused, that wants to express that in an outward focus, but I too often find myself dealing with problems caused by an inward focus.

So how about you? Where do find yourself? How about your church?

Plane rides and preachers...

2010-07-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

I flew in from Dallas yesterday with Larry Henderson and Mike Cope, and I had four very distinct thoughts.

First, I thought if Satan really wanted to hurt the spread of God's kingdom he should take this plane down.

Second, I am really safe because God is using those men in powerful ways to advance the kingdom so God is protecting us.

Third, if the plane does go down, at least we all would go out returning from trips where we talked about Jesus and helped others do the same. Neat legacy.

God would certainly raise up other men to take our place. None of us are indespensible.

And in some way, I really liked that. So, as always, I asked God to watch over my travel, though I did remind him of the great work Mike and Larry each do. :)

And so I just relaxed and left the whole trip in God's hands.

That's a good way to travel thru all of life.

Physical fitness and Jesus

2010-07-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

Our culture puts a great deal of emphasis on the physical. We are a body obsessed culture. Sex appeal sells. Eat right and exercise so you can look good. Get surgical enhancements where needed to maintain a certain image. Look younger. Beat the age clock. You will feel better and look better. It will help your career. You will be more socially acceptable.

I am not sure I completly agree with the Christian response I usually hear. We generally tend to have only a negative response. That is, we explain why culture is wrong. And I do agree that our culture's obsession with looks is not Christian. Our beauty is inward, not outward. God made us like we are and Christians should not buy in to what the world's standards of beauty and acceptance. We need to comfortable with our bodies and our years.

Even with this, we stop short of the confronting the sin of out of shape Christians. I believe it is a spiritual discipline to be healthy. One reason is that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. But I also believe God has work for us to do in this world. If I am out of shape and shortening my productive years in this world, I am not being as effective for Jesus as I can. Jesus has people for us to see and things for us to do for the kingdom.

So as a spiritual discipline... eat right, get rest, get in shape. Not to impress the world, but to have energy to be God's hands and feet in this world.

So... your thoughts?

On hospitals, funerals, and Jesus...

2010-07-13T07:45:00.000-07:00

We spent the first part of last week at the hospital with Marsha's Mom. Pain management was the issue that got her to the emergency room, but she left three days later with a pacemaker. Got home at 11 pm last Tuesday nite and went to Arkansas on Wed and Thurs. for the funeral of my 96 year old Uncle Brick.

So here are random thoughts about Jesus, hospitals, and funerals.

There are lots of competent Doctors, Nurses, and medical personnel. But it is special when believers take care of your loved ones. Some of them prayed with us, some shared tears and hugs, and some went "the extra mile". One of our Doctors and one of the pain management staff are part of our church family at Southern Hills. Even better.

I am reminded that some professions are naturally a ministry. We have 2 daughters, 1 sister, 2 cousins, and 1 niece who are either practicing nurses or in nursing school. I am proud of all of them, but even prouder when they see their job as an extension of who they are in Jesus.

Lots of the hospital support staff had Marsha as one of their Middle School teachers. They all remembered her and she knew all of them. I am not sure how much computer skills those kids learned, but they learned a lot about love, self-esteem, and Jesus. Teaching is another profession that is a natural ministry, especially when it is an extension of who you are in Jesus.

If Granny had not gone to the hospital for pain management, we would not have discovered she needed the pacemaker. Funny how God works.

Visitors are special. Marsha and I are givers by nature, not takers. So are her folks and so are our kids. So it's hard for us to be on the recieving end. But I love the elders who came up to the hospital to hang out and to pray with us. And we were so thankful for friends (some of you are really more like family) who came by, called, and prayed for us.

Family funerals are strange. Good memories are fun to remember... and bad memories really do fade over time. I rarely get to spend much time with that side of my family, but I was so pleased how many of them recognized me immediately. Of course, most of them called me Joe. I guess I really do look a lot like my Dad. Lots of my relatives have gotten old. Shocking to imagine they say the same about me.

My Uncle Brick was probably born in the wrong century. He was what I would envision a mountain man to have been. Taught me most of what I know about hunting and fishing. Never ate anything but wild game at their house. Never beef, pork, or chicken. Those were income, not food.

I hope my extended family loves and respects me someday as much as my Dad's family loves and respects him.

My Dad hit a home run when he married my Mom. She helped him to find Jesus. Changed his life forever. Cannot imagine our life without Him. Glad I got to realize that again.

Well, we see Jesus in lots of ways in lots of places. These were some of mine this week.

Disneyworld and Jesus...

2010-06-28T15:05:00.000-07:00

Marsha and I spent last week at Disneyworld with the kids and grandkids. This is something we had planned for Marsha's retirement and have been saving for. It was great. I thought I would share some things I saw that made me think of Jesus.

People love fairy tales and happy endings. Everyone parent thinks their little girl is a princess. For most of this world, that is not going to happen. But it does for Christians. Life is blessed, wonderful, and happy. We do live happily ever after. If you think Disneyworld is great... just wait until heaven.

The "It's A Small World After All" ride is incredible. It shows how our world is connected, people are the same all over, and we should live together in harmony. Jesus died so that dream could be a reality. Jesus made real what Disney only imagined.

I love family church. Jake, who is 4, led songs for us. Kids all sang. Bobby helped Jake lead the closing prayer. Realized that all four of my grandkids are developing faith. That is so much better -- and more real -- than Disneyworld.

Snow White had seven friends. They have been called by a name that is offensive to some. I was wondering what my grandkids would call them. Avery told me they were the Hi-Hoes. Works for me. I like being sensitive to people who are different.

Hanging out with 4 grandkids in the pool is nerve-wracking these days -- esp. watching them go down the giant slides. All four of them love water, and Anna swims better than I do. I hope they do lots of things in life better than me. I kept thinking they will be stronger spiritually than me and I think that is good. After all, their parents are. And that is good. And I hope they are fearless spiritually.

They kids loved old Disney cartoons. Andrew and I watched them every night on Pop's bed. And we both laughed hysterically. Whatever else happens in life, there will be things that bond the generations together. For our clan, it will be Jesus more than anything else.

And most of all, I was struck by how Disney is based on illusions and slick marketing.

Jesus is real. I wish my world could know him like I do. So I may never go to Disneyworld again, but I get Jesus forever.

My ramblings and reflections on Disney and Jesus.

More thoughts on giving...

2010-06-10T14:35:00.000-07:00

We have an incredibly narrow view of giving. If we expect God to bless us in order to give more to Him -- as opposed to give more to ourselves -- we need to understand what it means to give.

Obviously checks written for ministry is one way to give more. Your church giving might include the regular contribution, special gifts for missions, benevolence, or a building fund. You might give to ministries not specifically affiliated with a local church (Herald of Truth, Christain Homes, or other parachurch ministries).

You might give to non-profits that do more generic ministry such as a university or a civic club, though I personally do very little of this because I favor projects that are more directly connected to Jesus (just my opinion).

God may put individuals in your life to support. At various times we have given to individual missionaries, out of work Christians, helped on medical bills, and those kinds of ministry.

But our concept of giving can be larger. For several years we kept an extra car. It wasn't worth much, but we let others use it for weeks or months at a time. You might want to consider the money you spend on a larger house as giving to God if you use it for God. Do you buy a larger house so all of your kid's friends can hang out in a Christian enviornment? By the way, you don't have to have a big house to do that, but it helps.

what about groceries to feed others (like the kids hanging out at your house)? Could a lake cabin be a gift to God? How do you use it? If you make it available for retreats, study, and a Christian place for you and others to refresh for Christian service... then perhaps it is giving. How about treating a single Mom and her kids to a meal out with you and your family?

God might even make you independent financially with the expectation that will use all you time in service to Him.

The point of asking God to bless me is for me to have resources to use to further kingdom business and bring glory to God. So -- bottom line (pun intended) -- limit what you spend just for you and ask God to bless you above and beyond that to use for Him.

To paraphase my good friend James (he wrote extensively about Christians and money): ask God for anything and He will give it to you... unless you want to use you on yourself.

Jesus vs. Culture

2010-06-08T07:29:00.000-07:00

I know we want to think that the church is never influenced by culture. But we are. Much better to identify some of these influences and acknowledge them so we can overcome them. Our culture is incredibly materialistic. Posseessions, income, standard of living are all measures of success in our culture. How big a house can you buy? How much can I give/provide/spoil my children?

So has that influenced the church?

Why are we so building crazy? Bigger, nicer, and more elaborate. But only because that is the most effective way to do ministry. Of course that has nothing to do with our culture.

Do we view economic prosperity as an opportunity to do more good for the kingdom, or as an opportunity to up our standard of living -- though of course increasing our giving proportionally?

How many Christians do you know that maintained a basic standard of living and as they recieved more actually gave more to the kingdom? Or do we assume that more financial blessings mean that God wants us to increase our standard of living?

Culture would lead us to see financial success as a sign of spirituality and at least we do not do that in any of our churches. We understand that success in business does not automatically make a man qualified to be an elder. Don't we?

I just have to wonder what would happen if we all picked an income level (after prayer and spiritual discussion) that we would pledge to maintain. Then ask God to give us more, understanding that we would use everything above that level for kingdom business.

Now that would be counter-cultural. I am not claiming to have all of this worked out, becasuse I too am a product of my culture. But I do think the discussion is worth having.

Just my thoughts.

Marsha retired...

2010-06-03T11:11:00.000-07:00

Today was the last day and it is official. Marsha has retired from teaching. So I have gotten to spend quite a bit of time at school and district functions over the last few weeks. And I have to say... being "Marsha's husband" is a pretty good gig at these events. I really enjoyed what people said about her -- and very little of it was about her teaching.

Lots of "...how much I will miss her friendship." "Love your wife". Lots of stories of her ministry as a Mom to young teachers. Lots of stories of her marriage counseling and her spiritual guuidance. Reminded me again why I say come to me to hear about Jesus, go to Marsha to see Jesus.

Everyone wants to know what she is going to do since she is retiring so young. She is going to be Mimi to our 5 grandkids (Joe Don and Jamie are having their third in August). She is going to be daughter to our 4 parents. She wants to travel some with me. And she wants to do more shepherding, evangelism, discipling with me at Southern Hills. We do lots of that now, but as she says... it will be nice to do it when not so exhausted.

And for those of you who are asking if I am next...no. Our deal is that she retires early and I will work until I die or the Lord comes.

So if you see Marsha soon... give her a high five. She's earned it.

Meeting needs and church decisions...

2010-05-27T13:54:00.000-07:00

I sit in on a lot of discussions about meeting needs and church programs and/or worship. I like the concept. Jesus certainly met needs. He fed the hungry, healed the sick, and gave sight to the blind. And in dying on the cross, he certainly met our biggest need.

But lately I have become concerned about the focus of some of these conversations. I sometimes hear intense discussions and planning on how to provide for the physical needs of our community, and even emotional needs. I don't hear as much about how that opens the door to talk about filling the greatest need.

Lots of talk about being the kingdom of God in this world. Not so much about bringing the people of this world into the kingdom of God.

And I hear more Christians discuss -- or complain --about how church must meet their needs. If we are Christians, our greatest need has been met. I would even suggest that when I was crucified with Christ I gave up the right to be concerned about my needs being met.

I want to hear discussions about meeting the needs of others. Jesus put us before himself. The Son of God met our needs. Selfish, sinful, immature, full of ourselves us became the focus of God's action. It's why Jesus came.

So if we want to be like Jesus... does that reframe the whole need based discussion?

Feel free to weigh in.

My sister Sara...

2010-05-25T13:53:00.000-07:00

Some of you will remember the story of Brittney. She was baptized a couple of months ago. We just shared our story with her -- stories out of the Bible, stories of people at church. Every story we shared with her, or that she heard at church, she went home and told to her Mom. A few weeks ago, her Mom Sara started coming to services with her. We baptized Sara Saturday afternoon.

Here are a few incredible things you should know about her conversion. Brittney does not yet know a lot of Bible, nor has she had any "evangelism training". She just shared everything she was learning with someone she loved.

Sara said she knew for a long time that something was missing in her life. I have to wonder how many more Saras are out there.

She said her Doctor told her one time that she would never really be well until she took care of her spiritual life. She was so excited to see Dr. Cooksey at Southern Hills. I was so excited to know he was sharing our story with his patients.

Sara brought her Mom, husband, one of her daughters, and four of her grandchildren to watch her be baptized. She's telling them the stories.

Brittney's first contact with Jesus was thru her boyfriend, Matt. They are now "just" friends. But Matt and his family have spiritually adopted Brittney and Sara into their family. Matt has Cystic Fibrosis. God is using him in powerful ways.

One of our older couples met Sara one Wednesday night. She was amazed that they were praying for her spiritual journey.

Lots of stories. Lots of God stories. And they are still being written. A daughter, her one-time boyfriend, his family, a Doctor, a retired couple, and a preacher and his wife. Writing Sara's story with her.

You can do that too. Go God go.

Change the church... or the world

2010-05-20T14:25:00.000-07:00

In talking to ministersI hear a lot of conversation about changing the church. I hear discussions of worship styles, organizational models, and the difficulty of getting "buy-in" to change our culture. Almost every new preacher hired speaks about the mandate to change things.

Of course, this frustrates ministers because churches won't change. Or won't change the way they want them to -- or as fast as they want. Elders get frustrated because sometimes they don't see the need to change things. Or they get tired of repairing the damage from the attempted change. Or everyone has a different opinion of what to change. And how to change it.

Church members get frustrated because everyone can't agree on what should be changed. Or because talk of change implies they have not doing things right. Or they have not been faithful. Young members get frustrated because they think talk of change is the same as a promise of change. Old members get frustrated because they know that the more things change... the more the stay the same.

I wonder what would happen if ministers got all fired up to change the world instead of wanting to change the church? What if time, resources, and energy went into making disciples out of worldly people?

Of course if ministers really became evangelists, then elders and members would have to do the shepherding and the ministry of the church. Members would have to step up and not depend on a paid, professional staff. And the paid staff would have to change their minset from ministers to evangelists.

But if we did that we might change the world. And I'm thinking that if we started trying to change the world then we might find out we are changing the church.

Just my thoughts. What about yours?

Compassion and Christians

2010-05-12T13:55:00.000-07:00

My daughter Julie stopped this morning to help someone who had fallen while walking. She had tripped in a hole and her companion could not get her up. Julie had Jake and Avery with her and explained that since she was a nurse she was going to stop and see if she could help the lady.

She checked her ankle, helped her up, took her back to where she lived, and helped her get settled back in her house. The lady asked her if she was a Christian. Jules said yes and that she went to Southern Hills. The lady said God had sent an angel to help her.

When Julie got back with the kids, Jake told her she had compassion. He is 4 and had been studying about compassion in Bible class. It was in one of his memory verses.

I'm proud of Julie but that is not why I am blogging about this. I am really struck by the lessons I learned from this. Of course, I am reminded why we have Bible class for our children. And it reinforces that Jesus needs to be seen at home to partner with what is taught at church.

But here is what really struck me: the question the lady asked. Are you a Christian? She assumed Julie must have been because she helped. I hear a lot about the negative reputation of Christianity but I doubt any other group has this kind of assumption made about them. But Christians do. Who else consistently plays the "good Samaritan" besides us? We are Christ's followers, and the world may think more highly of us than we think.

I know the lady may have been a Christian and that's why she sensed a kindred spirit. Or maybe our reputation precedes us. And I know that since Julie is a nurse she is more equipped to handle something like this. But it still reminds me of what I want to be about as a Jesus follower. And I'm glad Julie told her where she is a member. Maybe we'll see her again.

Just thought you might like to hear a Jesus story.

Keys to a Great Church of Christ

2010-04-27T13:15:00.000-07:00

Last week at HIP I outlined five things that make a great Church of Christ. If things are not going well, or if your church is not growing, or if you want to be a famous preacher, or have your congregation recognized in the brotherhood as one of the "with it" congregations, there are five sure-fire ways to make it happen. I have been in and around Churches of Christ all my life and I have seen these happen over and over.

WARNING: SARCASM ALERT

Build. Add classrooms, a fellowship hall, a youth center, a coffee house, or remodel the auditorium. A building church must be a growing church. And, when completed, you have something tangible to point to that you have done "for the Lord".

Programs. Find the hottest, newest program going and bring it to your church. We are always looking for the next great evangelism program. I am so disappointed that Jesus did not see fit to explain more fully the programs involved with making disciples in Matthew 28. Baptize and teach seems a little too unfocused. Everyone can get excited about a new program. And training and implementation can easily take a year in which we can know that we are just on the verge of doing the next great thing.

Process. This is the hot thing now, but it has been around forever. Elders function too much like a board so develope a model where they shepherd. The ministry leader model was one of the great process changes. Then we had the Senior Pastor model. Pretty soon the trendy thing will be to have deacons. Change the structure and problems will magically dissapear.

Staff. I remember when the answer to losing our young people was to hire a youth minister. And how did that work out? Not enough members involved, hire a Connecting Minister. Things not going well, get a new preacher. Change staff, or add staff, and the problems are solved. And if not, it is because we hired the wrong staff.

Worship. If all else fails, change up worship. Add a praise team, stop using a praise team. Go instrumental. Make worship a concert. Be more reverent during communion, or be more interactive during communion. Sing more great old hymns. Sing more meaningful contemporary songs. Sing higher, sing lower. Sing faster, sing slower. Use more interactive media. Go back to simple church.

Or maybe we ought to realize that change is not accomplished from the outside, but from within. Maybe Satan just uses all of these things to distract us from doing real ministry.

Just my thoughts.

Who Preaches Follow-up

2010-04-21T13:58:00.000-07:00

I've had several interesting questions and observations about the multi-voice model for preaching. So let me share some more ideas.

I think there still needs to be a lead speaker. Someone who sets the direction, does the initial work out of the text, and who organizes the structure for this model.

Yes it is harder on the Minister of the Word to lead in a model like this. It is always easier to do it all yourself.

No I don't think every one of the "preachers" has to be paid. Some might be, most might not be.

This model is dependent on being able to subjugate egos. It is critical for the leader, and for those who are frequently utilized.

I don't think you "lower" the standards for the pulpit. Care would still need to be used in terms of who the multiple voices are.

I don't think the lead speaker determines who are the other voices. I would think a ministry team, or the elders, would need to have strong input in this.

No I don't think this model will catch on anytime soon. It is scary for elders, different for church members, and threatening for many pulpit ministers.

Yes, if I were preaching somewhere I would want this model. And I believe in it if I am not the lead speaker, just one of the other voices. Or not one of the other voices.

Yes there are churches using differnt versions of this model, but usually on Sunday nights, or in venues like HIP.

So share more of your ideas. Comment on the blog or on Facebook, or engage me in conversation.

2010-04-19T14:43:00.000-07:00

It started with a phone call Friday night. A man I baptized a couple of years ago had gone thru a difficult divorce and was calling to let me know he was trying to get his life together spiritually. He had not been truthful about some things with his family and with those of us trying to give spiritual counsel. He wanted to confess to me and to let me know he had confessed to his parents and to his ex. He is back in church and wants to become the man God wants him to be.

Found out one our neighbors has a Mom with lung cancer and a Dad undergoing heart procedure this week. Put them on church prayer list and Marsha's taking food to them.

An elder at a church in the Metroplex where I have preached a number of times had come to Abilene with his family to celebrate his in-law's anniversary. The in-laws are long-time members at Southern Hills and there are lots of conncections. On the way home, they were in a terrible car wreck. He and his daughter were careflighted back to Abilene. Lots of us at the hospital praying for them.

They both died shortly after arriving at the hospital. Lots of tears, lots of counsel, lots of affirmation that we do not grieve as those who have no hope. Lots of affirmation that God is God and our hearts will choose to say "blessed be the name of the Lord". And that is what he would have said had he been in the waiting room.

One spiritual journey back to God. One opportunity to serve and open doors to share Jesus. One tearful tragedy. God's children home forever. Chances to be God's heart, hands, and voice in this world.

Maybe this is what we are all here for... till we go home.

Who preaches HIP?

2010-04-13T14:38:00.000-07:00

HIP is our Wednesday night praise service at Southern Hills, and I thought I would share some of the thought process about how we handle the preaching portion of that assembly. Gary and Francis Green, our campus ministers, and their team decide on the general theme for each semester. I have input into this, but I don't decide it. That is the same way we decide on the format for each week.

We usually divide the preaching up into segments that actually total about 20 minutes. Sometimes we will have a 2 minute call to worship. The message will sometimes be 12-15 minutes, but it may be done in one, two, or three segments. There will usually be a Garden of Prayer intro that will be around three minutes. So we have a wide variety of ways we present the message (and that does not count singing to each other). Sometimes we will have a video, or someone will share their testimony.

In a given night, we might use only one person to do all the sharing of the message. Other times, we may use 3 or 4 different men. Typically, either Gary or I will do most of the "preaching" part of the message, tho we occasionally use others there. There are another 2 or 3 who might intro the Garden of Prayer during the semester, and probably another 5 or 6 who might do the Call to Worship. Still others might share their testimony.

Most people think I preach Hip, but I probably do only about 60% of the presenting. Gary will usually do about 25%, tho he has not been able to this semester. Others will do the remaining time. The Campus Ministry leadership team, under the authority of the elders, selects the various speakers, including me. I am on a semester by semester invite.

The advantages of this model is that it allows for different styles and insights. There is still one main voice, but not one voice only. Those who do not care for my preaching --boy that hurts to write :) -- do not have to hear me all the time. This model lets our people hear a variety of good speakers, including those who are not professional preachers. It lets us identify and begin to train those who might have a gift for preaching.

Just thought some of you might like to know this. I like the model. In fact, I think it may the future model for Sunday assemblies.

And, except for the worship and campus interns, HIP is done by volunteers. Once in a while one of our paid staff will do some part of HIP, but probably 90% of the speaking is done by non-paid members. Some will argue that "you get what you pay for", and that may be right. And some day we might use staff, or pay the HIP speakers. But it does serve to remind us that money and ministry are not mutually inclusive.

Feel free to share your thoughts.

A church for screw-ups...

2010-04-08T14:57:00.000-07:00

It came up again last night after HIP. We had blunt preaching, powerful testimony, and lots of openness. Several people talked about the fact that Southern Hills has a reputation as the church for people who have screwed up their life. Some outside of SH say it in a derogatory way, but I like it. And yes, it may be because I have been one of those screw-ups. I heard a lot of people last night thrilled at the kind of church we are, and excited that we can be honest, and humbled that we are a place wounded Christians can come home to and be healed.

I do need to point out that if you have messed your life up, and don't care, and want to stay that way... we are not your church.

But if you have messed your life up, we are for you. All you have to do is...

Admit it. Want to change it. Ask for help. Accept guidance from Godly men and women. Let the grace of God, the love of Jesus, and the power of the Holy Spirit heal you. Then help others.

We have lots of faithful members that have never crashed and burned -- at least that anyone but them know about. And I love the fact that they are willing to get their hands dirty helping those in trouble. And we have lots of faithful members whose lives did crash and burn at one time. And God restored them. And they are helping heal others.

At Southern Hills we do believe the our God can set the captives free, that He is mighty to save, and that He can move mountains, that He can make the blind to see and the lame to walk.

And I love it.

Marsha's Birthday...

2010-04-06T06:46:00.000-07:00

Today is my wife's birthday. For the next six months I am only one year older than her. I know I look twenty years older, but that's because I look much older than I really am and she looks so much younger than she really is.

She is a remarkable lady. She is a great friend, role model, and mentor to lots of young wives, moms, and teachers.

She is a great elder's wife. Always keeps our home open, great prayer, and generous with tears and hugs. She never gives up on people -- including me.

One of the true servant hearts I have ever known. Always doing something for someone.

She is a great Mom and Mimi. Loves her kids and grandkids.

Great wife. Great ministry partner. I talk a lot about Jesus and grace. People come to me to learn about those things. She lives Jesus and grace. People come to her to see those things.

So happy birthday Mimi. May God give you many more years to bless others. I love you.

Ministers and Attending Services...

2010-04-01T13:26:00.000-07:00

I was part of an interesting discussion the other day that started with this question: are our ministers required to attend every service? At Southern Hills that involves 2 Sunday AM services, Bible class, Sunday evening assembly, Home gatherings, and Wed. nights. The average member feels like it is expected they will attend one Sunday service, Bible class, Wed. if possible, and be part of a small group.

Minsiters need family time just like the rest of us, so the question was whether we should expect ministers to attend 2 Sunday services, class, and Wed. night plus be in a small group. In essence, the question was why should ministers have to be at 2 Sunday AM services since that was not fair to their families.

So let me share some of my thoughts and I would love to hear some of yours.

In our situation, the two morning assemblies have about the same attendance and most people regularly attend "their" service. So if a minister attends only one, they will clearly only know one half of our congregation. If a minister regularly attends only one of these, it is difficult to know and "minister" to the whole congregation.

We give our ministers Fridays off to compensate for working on Sundays. If you only attend the same as our members, what is the "comp" day for?

If working Sundays is a problem, find another line of work. That is true in many professions. If you want Friday nights off, don't be a high school football coach. If you want Saturdays off, don't go into retail sales. If you want Sundays off, don't go into ministry.

So I was a little surprised to realize that I do think our ministers should be "working" at both assemblies, class, Wed., and when their small group meets.

And before you ask, I have no idea if all of our staff attends all of these. I know some do, I suspect some don't, but I haven't "taken role".

On a related note, what should the elders do about this? Personally, I am a regular Daybreak (early service) attender. I really like the way we do Refresh, but all our family go to Daybreak and I really like worshipping together. So I try to go by the first part of Refresh and "meet and greet". And periodically, I stay for Refresh (second service).

Well, just my thoughts. I would love to hear yours.

Whitney's story...

2010-03-29T14:17:00.001-07:00

She is about to be a single Mom and realized she wanted something different for her life and for her daughter.

She had a Christian friend, Lauren, who was part of a Christian family -- the Turners -- who "adopted" Whitney.

They knew a Jesus story-teller... me. And when they came over, they recognized Marsha as a teacher they had in Middle School. And they liked her -- then and now.

So Whitney decided to make her story part of God's story and we baptized her in front of the Turners, Lauren, and about 12 of her family and friends that she invited to see her be born again. And when they all came to HIP one Wednesday, her Mom happened to sit right behind Lois who knew her from teaching together. So now Mom has a connection.

Our God is an awesome God.

So now Whitney is a part of our family. And her story is our story.

God continues to invite people into the story of His Son Jesus. And if you are at Southern Hills Easter Sunday at the Daybreak assembly, you will get to meet Whitney and her family. God is still writing that story. And we get to be part of it.

Go God.

178 years of marriage...

2010-03-25T08:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my in-laws, Don and Jean Herttenberger, celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary. Two weeks ago, my folks celebrated the 61st. Julie and Bobby just celebrated their 5th. I know, March is a big marriage month in our family. By the end of the summer, Marsha and I will hit 37 and Joe Don and Jamie will hit 10. So when our family is togther, we have 178 years of marriage in one room. So let me share what I have learned about marriage.

... Don't quit. There were numerous times when any of these 10 could have -- maybe even had the thought cross their mind -- walked away. They all chose not to.

... Survive the tough times. There have been serious issues concerning health, money, family dynamics, sin, and struggle. But we are all happy and upbeat. It's a choice we all make.

... Example is powerful. My four (with a fifth one coming late summer) grandkids will grow up with really strong images of lasting love, faithfulness, forgivess, joy, and tolerance. Just like my kids did. Just like Marsha and I did.

... Love conquors all. Love for God, love for the church, love for family, love for your mate. It is real.

... God is faithful. The strongest lesson of all is that God is the answer to everything. All 10 of us are faithful Christians. All of us are deeply involved in church.

So what can you learn from the Ridgell, Herttenberger, Gilbreth 178 years? Love God, love each other, and love marriage. It works.