Wednesday, January 04, 2006
I've had it...
I hope the holidays were good to you. At our house there was lots of fun, food, and family. But in the midst of the joy, there was pain. I had talks with several Christian friends who are in trouble in their marriage. Some of them are facing up to sin in their lives and dealing with the consequences. Others refuse to acknowledge sin in their lives...or they have excuses for it.
These events solided two truths that are critical if we are going to heal and restore fractured marriages. The first is that as a Christian, life is not about you. I am tired of hearing how the "new relationship" makes you happy. I have even heard how the new love of your life is going to make you a better Christian because you will be satisfied and happy in this new relationship.
Once and for all, hear this: other people will not make you happy. If you buy into this lie of Satan, you will not stay happy. When the new relationship has problems, or things do not go just like you thought, what do you do then? Must you find someone else to make you happy? Take your relationship with Jesus seriously, work on your marriage, and quit thinking everything in life is about you and what makes you happy.
On the other hand, some of you better learn to forgive. Do you really think you are the perfect spouse? When you said "for better or worse" were you kidding? Sin is horrible, and it must be dealt with- whatever it takes. However, a harsh and unforgiving spirit is not how Christ would have you to live.
I have seen God take many shattered marriages and heal them. Some of the healthiest marriages I know have been through horrible struggles. But if both spouses want to be faithful (to Jesus, not just each other), and if you want to save your marriage... it can happen.
Our God can do amazing things in your marriage. I know. Trust me on this... and more important, trust God.
These events solided two truths that are critical if we are going to heal and restore fractured marriages. The first is that as a Christian, life is not about you. I am tired of hearing how the "new relationship" makes you happy. I have even heard how the new love of your life is going to make you a better Christian because you will be satisfied and happy in this new relationship.
Once and for all, hear this: other people will not make you happy. If you buy into this lie of Satan, you will not stay happy. When the new relationship has problems, or things do not go just like you thought, what do you do then? Must you find someone else to make you happy? Take your relationship with Jesus seriously, work on your marriage, and quit thinking everything in life is about you and what makes you happy.
On the other hand, some of you better learn to forgive. Do you really think you are the perfect spouse? When you said "for better or worse" were you kidding? Sin is horrible, and it must be dealt with- whatever it takes. However, a harsh and unforgiving spirit is not how Christ would have you to live.
I have seen God take many shattered marriages and heal them. Some of the healthiest marriages I know have been through horrible struggles. But if both spouses want to be faithful (to Jesus, not just each other), and if you want to save your marriage... it can happen.
Our God can do amazing things in your marriage. I know. Trust me on this... and more important, trust God.
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I feel so incredibly blessed when I think about my marriage and the man God sent for me. Despite all of the struggles in our relatively short marriage, Nathaniel and I have only grown closer...stronger in our commitment to each other as well as our commitment to the Lord. Satan could have really partied in our marriage considering our struggles, but we made a concious decision that he would not gain any power, and that God would be the center...and He has carried us when we could not walk on our own. I am so thankful that we were serious when we said those words 5 years ago this month..better or worse, sickness and health, and even the richer or poorer. With God as our anchor, the love Nathaniel and I share will last a lifetime!
It took a while, and some disappointments, for me to learn that God didn't intend my husband to be my god -- he is to be my husband. To ask that my happiness and satisfaction depend on him is unfair to both of us.
I've heard all of these, as well, and am also fed up with the mentality. LOVED what Donnie C. had to say Sunday morning -- our "disposable society" shouldn't apply to relationships. But too often it does.
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I've heard all of these, as well, and am also fed up with the mentality. LOVED what Donnie C. had to say Sunday morning -- our "disposable society" shouldn't apply to relationships. But too often it does.
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