Ridgell's Originals

Last week our Jamie had a birthday and I've been thinking how much she has blessed our family. So I thought I'd share what makes Jamie so special to me.

First of all, she is my daughter. We have two girls: Julie by birth and Jamie by marriage, but Jamie is just not an in-law. She treats us with as much love and care as she does her own parents.

I love her because of the wife she is to Joe Don. They are still silly in love and she works very hard at their relationship. If I had constucted the perfect mate for JD, she would be very much like Jamie. Spiritual, smart, beautiful.

I love her because of the Mommy she is. She is so patient and gentle with Anna, Andrew, and Austin. She delighhts in being a Mom. I know she must get frazzled and rattled sometimes, but she never shows it.

She's a good sister to Julie. I like that they are friends and not just sister-in-laws. Though it has taken both of them -- and Mimi -- to train Joe Don. :) She's a fun Aunt Jamie to Jake and Avery.

She is so good to the four grandparents. She makes an effort to include them, to visit them, and to keep them in the family loop.

I really believe she would do anything she could for us. By the way Jamie, I suspect this theory will be tested over the next 20 or 30 years... so good luck.

I really can't imagine our family without Jamie. It just wouldn't be right. So God did a great thing when he put Joe Don and Jamie together. And I am thankful.

It was a couple of years ago at VBS. The song was Great Is Our God and the kids were singing along with a worship video. It was instrumental and it was loud. I really couldn't hear the kids but it was clear from their expressions that they were loving praising God.

And then they turned down the sound on the video and all of sudden all I heard were hundreds of children singing how great is our God. Their pure, sweet voices overwhelmed me. I stood there and bawled. Thinking about God, thinking about the pure worship I was hearing. I still tear up even now just remembering it.

I was thinking about this recently when hearing some people justify different types of worship practices based on how the experience made them feel. I am not sure my emotions should be a determing factor in how we worship. It seems too easy to transition to an "end justifies the means" theology. Or should emotion be the byproduct of worship?

But this is not a new debate. Some preachers have manipulated emotions for years. Anyone care for the 8th verse of Just As I Am? But some gave their life to Jesus during those verses. Sometimes it lasted. Sometimes it didn't.

Or maybe we should just structure worship around non-instrumental children. It sure got to me.

Just asking questions. How much should what we feel determine what we do?

So what is the role of parents in leading their children to Jesus.?

First, acknowledge that it is your responsibility. Do not put that responsibility off on the church, the youth minister, or anyone else. It is the parent's responsibility to lead their children to Jesus. And it is the most important job you have as a parent.

Be an example. Your children should see Jesus in you. You don't have to be perfect. After all, your children are going to have to learn how to handle sin, repentance, confession, forgiveness, and restoration. But in your home, remember that Jesus is better caught than just taught. Your life will always speak louder than your words. And remember that it is impossible to lead your children to somewhere that you are not.

Pray lots. Pray over your kids. Pray with your kids. Pray for your kids. Pray together for your kids.

Use a Bible. Do your kids see you preparing to teach Bible class? Do you tell Bible stories? Do you memorize verses together? Is the Bible part of your home life or part of your home decor?

Get them around Christian role models. Grandparents are great for this. Ministers are good. Hang out with Christian friends. It really helps to have them around older kids who model Jesus.

Talk Jesus. Tell Jesus stories. Tell your family faith stories. Talk about the great things God is doing in your faith community.

Serve others. Let your kids visit the sick or hospital with you. Let them help you do yard work for older Christians.

Give. And teach them to give. And why we give.

Witness and testify to others. Let you kids hear you sharing your faith with others. Let them know why you are having the neighbors over and why other people are sitting with you at church. Encourage them to invite their friends -- like you do.

See lots of baptisms. Explain them at church. Get invited to some after-hour baptisms and take your kids. Let them hear, witness, and ask aobut what is happening.

Be intentional. Plan. Strategize. Be wise.

Make it so being a Christian is natural and expected. And as their faith grows, they will come to the point where they want to make their faith personal. And you will have the incredible honor to watch your children take their most significant step toward adulthood when they die with Christ and are raised to a new life. A life they have choosen. Community and family not just by birth, but by the new birth.

As a parent, your greatest joy will be to know your kids choose Jesus. If they do, no matter how bad this life gets for them, it will still be good. And your greatest heartbreak will be if they do not choose Jesus. And if they do not, no matter how good this life gets for them, it will still be bad.

Children are a gift from God. Let's give them back. So we can keep them forever. And forever.

OK, it's not what you think, but... Valentine's Day is different at 60 than it was at 20. Still the same girl. Then we were dating and starting to wonder about marriage. Now we have been married for 38 years. I am not sure I remember what Marsha gave me for Valentine's then, but I am going to guess it was a neat card and homemade cookies. I think we probably went out, but it was somewhere cheap because I sure didn't have any money those days.

But here are the Valentine's day gifts I am thankful for today.

She met me for lunch today and listened to me talk about the last week I spent with Christians in Nicaragua.

She spent the afternoon learning about Alzheimer's so she help my Mom take care of my Dad.

She raised two awesome kids who are happily married and who enjoy being with their Valentines today -- their spouses and those 5 precious grandkids.

She's cooking tonight. Venison. Nice.

I'm still her Valentine and she still loves me. She doesn't have to. She chooses to.

And I still look at her and my heart skips a beat and if not careful I get tears in my eyes.

She's a stayer. Lots of people these days aren't. She is.

I don't really remember much about Valentine's day 1972, but I doubt I could have ever envisioned how life would go over the next 40 years. But I think even then, I already knew it would be better if I could just hang on to Marsha.

Second best choice I ever made. Only Jesus beats her out. But it's kinda neat that one reason I still have him is that I hung on to her.

Still love you Mimi. It gets better every day.

I do believe this is different for each person, but let me share a few observations.

Forget the "age of accountability". That is not a phrase you will find in the Bible. There is no magic age which is the right time to baptize our children. It is rare that a child would be able to process this step before they are at least 10 or so. It is rare for a child raised in a Christian home to not process this decision before 16 or so. So as an elder often asked for advice, I discourage too young and encourage too old.

One factor to consider is how much children are around conversions. I don't mean just see a baptism, but actually witness conversion. Have they seen teenage or adult conversions? Have they heard you share your faith with others in your home? Have they been to the building at night to witness someone converted? Heard their story? I do think children around evangelistic families process baptism much quicker.

Are they old enough to worship with the saints? If they sleep thru church, need to be entertained with stickers and crayolas, or still leave for "children's church, then they are not ready to be part of the family of God independent of their parents. By the way, I am all for kids being in worship and if they need some help to stay busy that is fine. I am talking about whether they are ready to die with Jesus.

Can they process abstract thoughts like commitment, spiritual death, resurrection, sin, and discipleship? Once again, in homes where these are regular topics of discussion the process happens quicker.

When you tell your child no, how do they react? Or, as I asked one of mine... what would you do if I said no? At some point, they may say they will find someone to baptize them anyway. Or they might be able to discuss why they should.

Puberty is one marker in life that clearly indicates your child is becoming a independently functioning adult.

I might say here that some argue you should never tell a child no if they want to be baptized. What if they never ask again? Well, I would suggest that is a pretty good sign they were not ready. Answer this the same way you would when your child asks to date, or to drive.

I never worried that if I said no to a request to date that I had somehow missed the only time in their life when dating would be something they wanted. Saying no to the first request to let them drive did not cause me to worry they would never want to drive.

And as a parent, I was much more worried about the consequences of decisions they were not ready to make than I was about missing the only window of opportunity in their life. And of course I do not belive you just "blow off" the request. You answer in appropriate ways.

One last consideration. Ask someone you trust for advice. Or get your child to visit with someone else who might be more objective. Elder, preacher, friend.

Well, these are just a few of my thoughts on things to consider about baptizing our kids.

Mommy (our daughter Julie) : "Jake, do you know Matt, the boy at church in the wheelchair?"

Jake (our kindergarden grandson): "Yes, Pops takes me to say hello to him."

Mommy: "Matt went to heaven last night."

Jake: "Mimi reads to me about heaven. Matt is with Jesus and he is not in his wheelchair."

Mommy: "We need to pray for his family. They miss him here."

Jake: "OK. But Matt is happy."

Best sermon on heaven I may have ever heard.

Thanks Matt for being enough like Jesus to talk to a Kindergarden kid.

Thanks Mommy, Dad, and Mimi for teaching Jake about Jesus and heaven.

And thanks Jake for the sermon about Jesus people who die:

Matt is with Jesus. Forever.

He is not in a wheelchair. The bad things of this life are over.

He is happy. Yep. That's why we grieve, but not as those who have no hope.

I believe that will preach.

Even more -- as Matt proved -- that will live. Now and forever.

Matt Phillips passed from this life to real life last night just before midnight. For our Southern Hills family, everyone will know who Matt was. If you don't, you should. He was a teenager who lived all his life with brittle bone disease. Everyone had to be careful when they hugged or touched him. Had to be in a wheelchair.

My standard greeting to Matt was "How's my hero?" And he always answered. "Great. How's my hero?" But here's the thing. I meant it. Matt was my hero. Still is. Faced a lot of tough times with grace and humor. Life dealt him a hard blow, and he lived with courage and faith.

I loved seeing him cheer for his sister Allison at the Wiley volleyball games. Loved hearing how he won spelling bees. Loved talking sports with him.

I vividly remember the night his Dad Mark baptized him into Christ. He carried him down into the water and ... well, let me just say it is on my faith hightlights reel. I got to lead a shepherd's prayer of blessing afterward. Prayed for his protection from Satan. Prayed for the great witness he would be in this world.

And I nailed it. God did exactly what we asked. Matt fought his battles and stayed true to God. He was a living witness of how God's people live in a fallen world.

I've know Mark and Laura a long time. They were exactly the parents Matt needed. Allison was exactly the big sis he should have. The Southern Hills youth group was the ideal faith community. And our church was the right church. Loved a room full of elders, wives, and families that love the Phillips gathered at midnight at a hospital room. Because of Matt.

And now I have another link to heaven. I think Matt's running in heaven's fields... and for the first time ever... he can fall to his knees and not be broken.

See you soon Matt.