Ridgell's Originals

I had the opportunity over the holidays to visit with a number of people about singles minisitry. And I got to visit with several singles about fitting into our church familes. I still do a number of singles retreats, teach the singles class at Southern Hill from time to time, and so I get to have quite a bit of interaction with this group. Let me share some of my random thoughts about singles and singles ministry. For purposes of this post, I am really talking about never married singles as opposed to single again.

It doesn't seem to matter how much we talk about it, most singles still do not fit well in our church families. Our corporate language is couple language. Our singles understand that the majority of our members are couples, but it still makes it awkward. We still have a difficult time integrating singles into real fellowship. Most of the singles I talk to are close to family or other singles but they have a hard time connecting outside of that. Singles ministry is still sometimes seen as a marriage factory. And yes, singles sometimes bring this on themselves. And marriage is a great outcome for a singles ministry. But that needs to be a by-product, not a focus. Finally, I still am not convinced we utilize our singles enough in ministry.

Now let me share a few observations about singles. I find very few who follow the Paul model. Paul held up being single as a high calling freeing you to concentrate on Jesus and ministry. Now everyone does not ave the gift of remaining single, celebate, and faithful. But some do. It seems very difficult in our culture for a man to acknowledge that gift and to set Paul as his example. Even if that is not their gift, I appreciate the singles who realize that they are fine as they are. They may even desire marriage and family, but they are content to wait on God. Then there are the singles whose entire focus is on getting married. Perhaps they think that will solve their problems, or perhaps that is what they most desire in this life. It is hard for them to get on with life and to be happy and content. Which leads some of our singles to settle. Please don't.

I'm glad I am married. I wouldn't trade that for anything. But I do have family and spouse concerns that take time from ministry. So I salute my single brothers and sisters. Our church is better and stronger because of you. I love you, I affirm you, I pray for you. God bless you.