Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Confessing Sin...
I have been in several sessions lately with someone who has been caught up -- and caught -- in sin. In almost every case, a wife or a friend asked "why didn't you tell us you were in trouble?" So I have been thinking about why it is so hard to confess sins to each other.
Sometimes it is shame. It is hard to acknowledge something that you are deeply ashamed of. It is even harder when you are convinced in your mind that everyone that hears it will be ashamed of you.
It might be pride. This is really true for parents, preachers, elders, church leaders. We worry about loss of influence, about whether we will lose credibility as leaders.
Fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of hurting someone we love. Fear that no one will love us if they find out how bad we are.
Bad memories. Some have tried to confess sin before only to have it go badly. Condemnation, disgust, anger, lack of forgiveness. It may have happened to them, or they may have seen it happen to others.
Never thought they would get caught. I do think some people do not confess sin because they think it is over and no one will ever find out.
Because they are a multiple offender. Everyone forgave me once and here I am right back in sin. They will not forgive me again. Or again. Or again.
Next time I may explore how to help each other learn to confess sin.
till then... what are some other reasons we do not confess our sins to each other.
Sometimes it is shame. It is hard to acknowledge something that you are deeply ashamed of. It is even harder when you are convinced in your mind that everyone that hears it will be ashamed of you.
It might be pride. This is really true for parents, preachers, elders, church leaders. We worry about loss of influence, about whether we will lose credibility as leaders.
Fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of hurting someone we love. Fear that no one will love us if they find out how bad we are.
Bad memories. Some have tried to confess sin before only to have it go badly. Condemnation, disgust, anger, lack of forgiveness. It may have happened to them, or they may have seen it happen to others.
Never thought they would get caught. I do think some people do not confess sin because they think it is over and no one will ever find out.
Because they are a multiple offender. Everyone forgave me once and here I am right back in sin. They will not forgive me again. Or again. Or again.
Next time I may explore how to help each other learn to confess sin.
till then... what are some other reasons we do not confess our sins to each other.
Comments:
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That's easy. I want you to think of me as a Christian like Timothy, or Paul or John. I don't want you to know I say a cuss word now and then, that I have lustful thoughts that may be fleeting after looking at my stomach in the mirror, that I forsook the assembly 2 Sundays in a row, that I didn't take the opportunity's given me to share God's word.
Why would I want you to know my weak side? I have to be greatful to God every waking minute. I'm a heart transplant reciepient for 20 years that takes no anti rejection medication, I'm divorced twice.I'm supossed to live a purposeful life and dedicate every breath to God above but I have had no relationship with my daughter for the last 7 years and haven't been able to help her with college, I provide a home for a junkie 62 year old brother that can't hold a job who has the emotional maturity of an 15 year old and who I dispise to be around and I want him out of my house and far removed from my life.
I know I don't like to feel that way and I'm not sure what sin it is but I'm sure God knows.
I don't know, maybe it makes other people feel that their lives are not so bad after all when we hear what trouble others are into.
I'm not worried about rejection because I don't really care what you think about my sin. Because it is my sin, not your sins.
I'm thinking more about what are you or anyone else going to do about my sinful nature.
Pray for me? OK, that's a start. But I need more than a prayer on Sunday morning down front.
What about what I like to refer to as the 4th day. Because its on the 4th day after the prayers and back patting and good intentions that I start back on the road of exposure to the world. Where are you then?
There are very few of us that trust one another enough to confess our sins to. That's why I love Jesus. He already knows and forgives me anyway.
Its not the me telling you part, its me telling my sins to someone outside of the power to forgive sins.
Of course, there is power in prayer and confessing sins one to another. I would think of it as part of God's plan for us to see the power of His love and Jesus's sacrifice in action.
The way it ought to work is that we talk to one onther so much and pray for one another so much there isn't time for sin be hatched in our lives.
But then we would have to be there for each other all the time huh?
Why would I want you to know my weak side? I have to be greatful to God every waking minute. I'm a heart transplant reciepient for 20 years that takes no anti rejection medication, I'm divorced twice.I'm supossed to live a purposeful life and dedicate every breath to God above but I have had no relationship with my daughter for the last 7 years and haven't been able to help her with college, I provide a home for a junkie 62 year old brother that can't hold a job who has the emotional maturity of an 15 year old and who I dispise to be around and I want him out of my house and far removed from my life.
I know I don't like to feel that way and I'm not sure what sin it is but I'm sure God knows.
I don't know, maybe it makes other people feel that their lives are not so bad after all when we hear what trouble others are into.
I'm not worried about rejection because I don't really care what you think about my sin. Because it is my sin, not your sins.
I'm thinking more about what are you or anyone else going to do about my sinful nature.
Pray for me? OK, that's a start. But I need more than a prayer on Sunday morning down front.
What about what I like to refer to as the 4th day. Because its on the 4th day after the prayers and back patting and good intentions that I start back on the road of exposure to the world. Where are you then?
There are very few of us that trust one another enough to confess our sins to. That's why I love Jesus. He already knows and forgives me anyway.
Its not the me telling you part, its me telling my sins to someone outside of the power to forgive sins.
Of course, there is power in prayer and confessing sins one to another. I would think of it as part of God's plan for us to see the power of His love and Jesus's sacrifice in action.
The way it ought to work is that we talk to one onther so much and pray for one another so much there isn't time for sin be hatched in our lives.
But then we would have to be there for each other all the time huh?
I confessed a sin once in a group of Christians. I wasn't taken seriously. It wasn't considered a great sin, but for me it was a problem in my life and still is.
Given your last paragraph, I feel you will address the question in another post, but what about confessionals, led by a spiritual leader? You are given the opportunity to confess to God as a group as well as a personal from the heart prayer.
I guess the question is who do we want forgiveness from God, or man?
Just my thoughts,
I guess the question is who do we want forgiveness from God, or man?
Just my thoughts,
Great comments and this has given me a lot of ideas for the next post.
John, you are right that confession really only works in real community. And I have just prayed for you. Always appreciate hearing from you.
Sue, I'm stealing your experience to use in the next post. I had not thought of that.
Eloise. That is a really interesting idea. Similar to addiction recovery groups but not restricted to one specific sin maybe. Intriguing. You always were a deep thinker.
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John, you are right that confession really only works in real community. And I have just prayed for you. Always appreciate hearing from you.
Sue, I'm stealing your experience to use in the next post. I had not thought of that.
Eloise. That is a really interesting idea. Similar to addiction recovery groups but not restricted to one specific sin maybe. Intriguing. You always were a deep thinker.
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