Ridgell's Originals

I was recently asked how I relate to people with same sex attraction at Southern Hills. This person had been hearing a lot of discussion about this topic and wanted to know from one of his elders how I engage with SSA members. I thought about it some and here it is.

I have brothers -- and a few sisters that I am aware of -- who deal with same sex attraction. Some I have shepherded, others I have prayed with, some I just happen to know about. I worship with them, enjoy visiting with them, pray with them, encourage them in ministry, and try to model how to live like Jesus in a hard world. In other words, I interact with them the same way I do people who have anger issues, or wrestle with greed, or pornography battles, or addiction struggles. So pretty much like I do with everyone at Southern Hills.

Some of these in my family "act out". Here is how I interact with them. We talk about sin, temptation, and forgiveness. We pray together. We set up accountability groups and we help put appropriate boundaries and guidelines in place. In other words, I handle those situations like I do someone who commits adultery, or steals, or hits their children. So, again, pretty much like I do any of my flock struggling to conform their life to the will of Jesus.

Sometimes I am asked (well, usually told) that I have to accept them even if they act on their same sex desires. Not as one who struggles, sins, and seeks to turn from that sin. But as one who embraces that sin as a lifestyle. So I share Scripture, talk about God's call in their life, and ask about their commitment to follow Jesus. If they insist on living life on their terms rather than God's, then I explain the spiritual consequences for intentional and willful sin. In other words, the same thing I do with the guy who wants to leave his wife and marry his secretary. Or the person who refuses to stop gossiping, or anyone else who claims to follow Jesus but insists on living contrary to that belief. Once again, pretty much like I would treat anyone else.

So I guess my way of interacting with Christians who wrestle with same sex attraction is to treat them just like I do everyone else, no matter what we wrestle with. We're all family. We stuggle with different issues. We battle different demons. We win more than we lose. Our wounds become scars.

And Jesus saves us all. Praise God.