Thursday, June 21, 2012
How should a Dad give advice?
One of the things Dads do is give advice. Once your kids start to think and act independently, you move from telling them what to do and begin giving advice. Some of us Dads have a hard time with the shift, even after our kids are grown. But we do have a certain amount of wisdom. We only want the best for our kids, and we love them more every day. And we do see problems.
So how should a Dad give advice?
Read Exodus 18 about Moses and his father-in-law Jethro. It is a great story and will teach you how to do this. It will work for Dads, family patriarchs, elders, and spiritual Dads of all kinds. Without retelling the whole story, here are the lessons I learned about giving advice.
It starts by talking about God. They had a spiritual relationship (vs. 8-9)
I believe this is what brings credibility to the relationship. Jethro listened to Moses.
They worshiped together. (vs. 10-12)
This is the most important thing you can do together.
Jethro spent time with Moses and saw him in action (11-14)
Watch before you speak.
He asked questions. (14) and listened to the answer (15)
Check it out before you raise the subject Allow them to answer.
Point out what you see as the problem (vs. 17-8)
Jethro was worried about Moses. There must be a reason you think there is a problem. If you can't explain it, don't try.
Offer a solution (vs.19-22)
If you don't have a constructive solution, you are just complaining. Or pointing out the obvious. But without a solution, you are just making everyone feel worse. Your kids don't need that.
Point out the benefits (23)
How will this help
Ask God's blessing (23)
Pray before you bring it up, and make the advice dependent on God's blessing and will.
And as for Jethro and Moses ... it worked (24-26)
I believe the stories in the Bible are applicable today. So this is for fathers. But I also use this story in church leadership seminars, in my church consulting, and even when businesses ask me to speak or consult.
God's word is much smarter than I am.
So how should a Dad give advice?
Read Exodus 18 about Moses and his father-in-law Jethro. It is a great story and will teach you how to do this. It will work for Dads, family patriarchs, elders, and spiritual Dads of all kinds. Without retelling the whole story, here are the lessons I learned about giving advice.
It starts by talking about God. They had a spiritual relationship (vs. 8-9)
I believe this is what brings credibility to the relationship. Jethro listened to Moses.
They worshiped together. (vs. 10-12)
This is the most important thing you can do together.
Jethro spent time with Moses and saw him in action (11-14)
Watch before you speak.
He asked questions. (14) and listened to the answer (15)
Check it out before you raise the subject Allow them to answer.
Point out what you see as the problem (vs. 17-8)
Jethro was worried about Moses. There must be a reason you think there is a problem. If you can't explain it, don't try.
Offer a solution (vs.19-22)
If you don't have a constructive solution, you are just complaining. Or pointing out the obvious. But without a solution, you are just making everyone feel worse. Your kids don't need that.
Point out the benefits (23)
How will this help
Ask God's blessing (23)
Pray before you bring it up, and make the advice dependent on God's blessing and will.
And as for Jethro and Moses ... it worked (24-26)
I believe the stories in the Bible are applicable today. So this is for fathers. But I also use this story in church leadership seminars, in my church consulting, and even when businesses ask me to speak or consult.
God's word is much smarter than I am.
