Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Do you really want to be part of a second chance church?
I believe in second chances. And third, tenth, and sixtieth chances. I believe that is the church God calls us to be. And if you are a second chance church, you will have lots of people who have messed up their lives coming to be part of your fellowship. However, I believe it is spiritual, wise, and right to put conditions on those chances. God does not call the wounded sinners to stay in their mess. He is a God of healing, forgiveness, and restoration. Because of that, there are some conditions on accepting those sinners needing second chances.
1. They have to acknowledge that their sin is wrong. Sin is an offense to God. It is not just a mistake. It is not just inappropriate. It is not just poor judgement. Sin is when you do not follow God's will. Getting emotionally involved with someone other than your mate is wrong. And it was wrong before you "committed" adultery. Do not claim that everything was OK right up until the time you "crossed the line". It wasn't. Admit it. God does not want you to divorce your wife and marry your secretary so you can be happy.
If you cannot admit your action was sinful and wrong, we are not your church. Not interested in giving you a place to continue wallowing in your filth. But if you don't want to continue in sin, we can help your current mess become who you used to be, not who you are.
2. Confess that you did it. Don't blame the way you were raised. Don't claim it is the way God made you. Do not blame everyone else. Stealing from the petty cash drawer is not the fault of the one who forgot to lock it. You did it. Confess it. It is not your parent's fault, your mate's fault, the church's fault, or society's fault. Are they all perfect? No. But you are the one who sinned.
If nothing is your fault, we are not your church. We are not a place for you to spend the rest of your days blaming everyone else for your problems. But if you do not want to continue in the same pattern of sin, we can help you break it and find healthy spiritual patterns.
3. Be sorry. Not sorry you got caught. Not sorry for the horrible consequences. Sorry for the sin. Be deeply sorry for what you have done.
If you are not really sorry, then we are not your church. We don't want to be a place for you to hang out while you continue to sin. But if you hate your sin, we are your church. We hate it too. But we love you.
4. Seek help. Do you want to fix it? Do you want to be sober? Pure? Kind? Second chance churches are where changed lives happen. Alcoholic become sober. Mean people become sweet. Sex addicts become pure. Marriages get healed.
But if you don't really want to change, find somewhere else to go to church. We believe in the God of change. We are not interested in the people who like to stay in the ditch. But if you want to change, we are your church. We can show you lots of healed lives. We have the scars to prove it. Scars... not wounds.
5. Submit to spiritual guidance. This stops many people. They are on board with everything till someone says what they need to do to be healed and restored. As a shepherd at my church, I have lots of people sit on my couch whose life is a mess. I give Biblical, spiritual counsel how to be forgiven (and to forgive), how to break patterns of sin, and how to be restored. Scripture has many stories of healing and restoration that apply to your situation.
But if you do not want anyone telling you what to do, or you do not like what our elders and spiritual counselors advise you to do... then we are not your church. If what you have been doing is working for you, you don't need our help. Or maybe you will find a group who give you advice more to your liking. But we can only share what we believe to be Godly advice, and what we have seen work. So if you want healing, listen to those who have been healed. Listen as spiritual people give Godly advice. It works.
So "second chance" means a second chance to be God's person, not a second chance to continue in sin. And if you need another chance, we'll still hang in there with you. Again and again and again. So long as you really want to be healed.
It works. Lives change. We have living proof all around our second chance church. One of them even writes this blog.
Thanks God.
1. They have to acknowledge that their sin is wrong. Sin is an offense to God. It is not just a mistake. It is not just inappropriate. It is not just poor judgement. Sin is when you do not follow God's will. Getting emotionally involved with someone other than your mate is wrong. And it was wrong before you "committed" adultery. Do not claim that everything was OK right up until the time you "crossed the line". It wasn't. Admit it. God does not want you to divorce your wife and marry your secretary so you can be happy.
If you cannot admit your action was sinful and wrong, we are not your church. Not interested in giving you a place to continue wallowing in your filth. But if you don't want to continue in sin, we can help your current mess become who you used to be, not who you are.
2. Confess that you did it. Don't blame the way you were raised. Don't claim it is the way God made you. Do not blame everyone else. Stealing from the petty cash drawer is not the fault of the one who forgot to lock it. You did it. Confess it. It is not your parent's fault, your mate's fault, the church's fault, or society's fault. Are they all perfect? No. But you are the one who sinned.
If nothing is your fault, we are not your church. We are not a place for you to spend the rest of your days blaming everyone else for your problems. But if you do not want to continue in the same pattern of sin, we can help you break it and find healthy spiritual patterns.
3. Be sorry. Not sorry you got caught. Not sorry for the horrible consequences. Sorry for the sin. Be deeply sorry for what you have done.
If you are not really sorry, then we are not your church. We don't want to be a place for you to hang out while you continue to sin. But if you hate your sin, we are your church. We hate it too. But we love you.
4. Seek help. Do you want to fix it? Do you want to be sober? Pure? Kind? Second chance churches are where changed lives happen. Alcoholic become sober. Mean people become sweet. Sex addicts become pure. Marriages get healed.
But if you don't really want to change, find somewhere else to go to church. We believe in the God of change. We are not interested in the people who like to stay in the ditch. But if you want to change, we are your church. We can show you lots of healed lives. We have the scars to prove it. Scars... not wounds.
5. Submit to spiritual guidance. This stops many people. They are on board with everything till someone says what they need to do to be healed and restored. As a shepherd at my church, I have lots of people sit on my couch whose life is a mess. I give Biblical, spiritual counsel how to be forgiven (and to forgive), how to break patterns of sin, and how to be restored. Scripture has many stories of healing and restoration that apply to your situation.
But if you do not want anyone telling you what to do, or you do not like what our elders and spiritual counselors advise you to do... then we are not your church. If what you have been doing is working for you, you don't need our help. Or maybe you will find a group who give you advice more to your liking. But we can only share what we believe to be Godly advice, and what we have seen work. So if you want healing, listen to those who have been healed. Listen as spiritual people give Godly advice. It works.
So "second chance" means a second chance to be God's person, not a second chance to continue in sin. And if you need another chance, we'll still hang in there with you. Again and again and again. So long as you really want to be healed.
It works. Lives change. We have living proof all around our second chance church. One of them even writes this blog.
Thanks God.
Comments:
<< Home
I love the "second chance" theme - we had a very similar discussion in an elder meeting the other day. My question is (as it was then), do WE impose these conditions on the penitent? Are we in the condition-imposing business? I'm still not sure how I think about that. We WANT these people to draw closer to God, and we want to guide them, but do we impose the conditions? - Dave Wright
# posted by 
: 3:35 PM PDT
: 3:35 PM PDT
I think Dave's point is great-how do you impose restrictions on unending forgiveness?
I understand you are there to teach and shepard your flock, but it seems you are giving and taking at the same time.
Did Christ put guidelines on "how often should I forgive my brother"?
I understand you are there to teach and shepard your flock, but it seems you are giving and taking at the same time.
Did Christ put guidelines on "how often should I forgive my brother"?
Great points. and we too have had these discussions. I have been thinking about the conditions so much because I have been dealing with people who are using second chance opportunities to "be accepted no matter what" and not to be healed. Part of this also deals with flock protection.
Eloise, I believe that there is no limit on the amount of "second" chances available for sinners. But I do think it is appropriate to expect repentance to be part of the restoration process.
Eloise, I believe that there is no limit on the amount of "second" chances available for sinners. But I do think it is appropriate to expect repentance to be part of the restoration process.
It seems to me that the steps mentioned in the post are all signs of repentance. Expecting forgiveness without repentance is pretty close to trying to game God, which is not a good play.
# posted by : 9:57 AM PDT
: 9:57 AM PDT
Thanks for shedding a different perspective on forgiveness. I had always thought it was unconditional wheather the person was repentant or not.
Personal note: my oldest is on his way to his second olympics, as a coach,very proud Mom--
Personal note: my oldest is on his way to his second olympics, as a coach,very proud Mom--
The only part of forgiveness that unconditional is the fact that we cannot withhold it because of issues we may have. And ultimate forgiveness comes from God not us. He does require faith and a turning from our sins. And, again, that does not mean perfect, but faithful.
and on a personal note... AWESOME.
Post a Comment
and on a personal note... AWESOME.
<< Home
