Thursday, July 12, 2012

 

How to bless your children...

One last thought from my Father's Day class.  God gives us a pattern and example for how to bless our children.  It is the way he blessed Jesus at his baptism.  I believe our children need our blessing and affirmation.  This is something that can be used at special occasions such as baptisms, birthdays, holidays, and milestone events like the first day of school, etc  This is not only a great pattern to bless our children, but I use it as an elder in public and private blessings.

This is my Son.  Identify and acknowledge the relationship.  Jesus left heaven to live in a hard world.  He had to know who he was.  So do our kids.  But I think it goes deeper.  It speaks to a sense of belonging and community.  Our kids need to know they are important because they are part of our family. They need to feel secure.  Grounding the blessing in our relationship gives a sense of security.  Children that know who they are and who are secure in their identity will make better choices.  They will be more independent and stronger against the influences of the world around them.

I love him.  Don't you know there were times when Jesus had to wonder who loved him.  The only way he could do what he did was to be secure in his father's love.  Our children must know and believe that they are loved.  They must see how special we believe they are.  They must know that nothing will ever change the fact that they are ours and that we love them.  You cannot express your love too much.  I still value hugs from my parents.  I do not have one phone call to my wife, my parents, my kids, or my grandkids that doesn't end with "I love you".  This also gives our kids security and healthy self esteem.  It equips them to face a world that is hostile to their faith.

I am proud of you.  Our kids need to know who they are.  They need to know they are loved.  And they need to know that we are proud of them.  Jesus did too.  I believe God was reminding his son that he was proud of him for what he was doing.  So be generous with praise.  Be specific.  I am proud of you because...  and then fill the blank.  Be public with it.  Say it in front of others.  But tell them.  That is how they develop the self esteem to be their own person and not conform to the world's standards.

This is not meant to be a set formula, tho it sure works as one.  But these are three elements of blessing your children that should be part of their lives every day.  And if you do not bless your kids, they will seek identity, love, and affirmation somewhere else.  Never withhold the blessing.  Better to overdo it than under-do it.

And so to my wife, my four kids, my five grandkids, and my four parents:  I love our family, I love you, and I am proud of every one of you.  You bless my life.

Thanks God for showing me how to bless others.

Comments:
I think that positive affirmation is love based, not christian based. I can only assume that non believers love as deeply as any faith based person.

"I love you" can be so overused that it deafens the recipient. It becomes habbit to respond "I love you to".

We as humans need to make sure our actions always speak louder than our words. It is easy to love our family and to be proud of their accomplishments. To me the question is can you love the stranger in your mist as much as your family?
 
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