Thursday, July 26, 2012
What does a second chance church look like?
I really think every church thinks they are a second chance church. Or at least they would like to be. But what does a second chance church do? How does it function? Here are a few things that I believe help a church to become a true second chance church.
1. Build that reputation out of action, not image. You will be known as a place of healing and restoration because you are a church where people get healed and restored. It does not happen because you say you are. It will happen because there are changed lives in your community of faith.
2. Do not celebrate the sin. There is a fine line between celebrating a restored sinner, and celebrating the old sinful lifestyle. We sometimes act as if it is a mark of spirituality to talk about how messed up we were. Be careful that we do not make it a "badge of honor" to have needed a second chance. Do not romanticize the sin. Believe me, those of us who have benefited from second chances have scars, consequences, and pain that we wish we did not have. Celebrate the healing. Walk alongside the struggler. But do not talk lightly of the sin as if it was not a big deal. It was.
3. Protect the community of faith. Second chance sinners sometimes scare the church. Will they repeat their sin? Are we endangering the flock by having them as part of our body? This fear has led some to not believe in second chances, or at least to not extend full fellowship. So be smart in protecting the body. No pedophiles in the children's department. The recovering thief does not count the collection. The adulterer does not do counseling alone. The alcoholic does not prepare the communion wine. The gossip does not get to hear details of other people's struggle.
4. Second chance strugglers need rules for living a restored life. These may involve computer access accountability. It may mean not being alone with someone of the opposite sex. It may mean not going to places where alcohol is served. This is where many churches have difficulty. We must help people develop better spiritual life skills. So help your strugglers develop a set of life rules that works for them. It is not enough to rebuke them. Or pray for them. Or ask them if they are OK. These may be good things to do. But give them concrete help. And by the way, most of the spiritual life skills I help people with are good rules for all of us to live by. We want to prevent trouble for our second chance believers, but also we want to prevent our family from becoming a second chance Christian.
5. Develop restoration plans. We want to restore the fallen sinner to active body life and ministry. So develop an action plan. It may be removal from certain ministries for a period of time. It may be a series of steps with built in monitoring and accountability. Our reaction to people who blow up their lives has typically been one extreme or another. One is to ban them forever with no hope of acceptance or restoration. The other has been to rush them back into full body life with no structure or accountability. Time lines, ministry restrictions, accountability, and monitoring are acceptable methods if used with the goal of restoration.
The purpose of these actions is to protect the recovering sinner from temptation, protect the flock from danger, and to prevent false accusations and gossip.
Churches like this are not for everyone. Real restoration and healing is hard and difficult. If it was easy, no one would need this kind of help. But if you really want healing, this is the kind of church you want. And there are some who do not believe in second (much less third or more) chances for certain people or certain sins. Then you will never be comfortable in a church like ours. Maybe you need to find a church that fits you more.
Tough love. Yes it is. But there is so much joy in seeing healed marriages, recovered addicts, and restored ministry. But it doesn't happen by accident. It is by God's grace lived out in a community of faith committed to forgiveness, healing, and restoration.
It really can happen. I have seen it many, many times.
Thanks God for bringing so many of us back home. To you. Forever.
1. Build that reputation out of action, not image. You will be known as a place of healing and restoration because you are a church where people get healed and restored. It does not happen because you say you are. It will happen because there are changed lives in your community of faith.
2. Do not celebrate the sin. There is a fine line between celebrating a restored sinner, and celebrating the old sinful lifestyle. We sometimes act as if it is a mark of spirituality to talk about how messed up we were. Be careful that we do not make it a "badge of honor" to have needed a second chance. Do not romanticize the sin. Believe me, those of us who have benefited from second chances have scars, consequences, and pain that we wish we did not have. Celebrate the healing. Walk alongside the struggler. But do not talk lightly of the sin as if it was not a big deal. It was.
3. Protect the community of faith. Second chance sinners sometimes scare the church. Will they repeat their sin? Are we endangering the flock by having them as part of our body? This fear has led some to not believe in second chances, or at least to not extend full fellowship. So be smart in protecting the body. No pedophiles in the children's department. The recovering thief does not count the collection. The adulterer does not do counseling alone. The alcoholic does not prepare the communion wine. The gossip does not get to hear details of other people's struggle.
4. Second chance strugglers need rules for living a restored life. These may involve computer access accountability. It may mean not being alone with someone of the opposite sex. It may mean not going to places where alcohol is served. This is where many churches have difficulty. We must help people develop better spiritual life skills. So help your strugglers develop a set of life rules that works for them. It is not enough to rebuke them. Or pray for them. Or ask them if they are OK. These may be good things to do. But give them concrete help. And by the way, most of the spiritual life skills I help people with are good rules for all of us to live by. We want to prevent trouble for our second chance believers, but also we want to prevent our family from becoming a second chance Christian.
5. Develop restoration plans. We want to restore the fallen sinner to active body life and ministry. So develop an action plan. It may be removal from certain ministries for a period of time. It may be a series of steps with built in monitoring and accountability. Our reaction to people who blow up their lives has typically been one extreme or another. One is to ban them forever with no hope of acceptance or restoration. The other has been to rush them back into full body life with no structure or accountability. Time lines, ministry restrictions, accountability, and monitoring are acceptable methods if used with the goal of restoration.
The purpose of these actions is to protect the recovering sinner from temptation, protect the flock from danger, and to prevent false accusations and gossip.
Churches like this are not for everyone. Real restoration and healing is hard and difficult. If it was easy, no one would need this kind of help. But if you really want healing, this is the kind of church you want. And there are some who do not believe in second (much less third or more) chances for certain people or certain sins. Then you will never be comfortable in a church like ours. Maybe you need to find a church that fits you more.
Tough love. Yes it is. But there is so much joy in seeing healed marriages, recovered addicts, and restored ministry. But it doesn't happen by accident. It is by God's grace lived out in a community of faith committed to forgiveness, healing, and restoration.
It really can happen. I have seen it many, many times.
Thanks God for bringing so many of us back home. To you. Forever.
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Interesting posts on second chance churches.
Tough position for leaders of churches to be in - a fiduciary type situation on one hand, protecting the flock and trying to follow God's word on the other hand.
It brings into question, what legal information church leaders need to know,for instance pedophiles and children, or convicted felons. Do you begin background checks on questionable members?
How far do you go to give someone a second chance??
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Tough position for leaders of churches to be in - a fiduciary type situation on one hand, protecting the flock and trying to follow God's word on the other hand.
It brings into question, what legal information church leaders need to know,for instance pedophiles and children, or convicted felons. Do you begin background checks on questionable members?
How far do you go to give someone a second chance??
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