Thursday, October 11, 2012
When elders quit: to be or not to be
I shared yesterday that I do not believe most elders quit because they can't take the pain of hurting people. They do not quit because of hard decisions. They do not quit because they get tired.
But before I get to the things that really cause elders to resign, let me touch on some reasons that are individual specific. That is, things that have to do with individuals and not with church life.
I am not going to deal with things that disqualify a man from serving as an elder. I think the need to resign in that case should be self-evident. Nor am I thinking of the natural aging process. That happens to every elder.
A change in job situation requiring much more time than usual. It may be more responsibility. It may be working out of town for the foreseeable future. If a man really does not feel he has the time to be available to his flock, he should follow his conscience and resign.
Family situation that is going to consume the majority of his time and energy. I do think a man's family is more important than his church family. I would not serve as an elder until my kids were grown. So I am not thinking so much of raising children. They always demand time and attention. And we should give it. I am thinking of things like aging parents, sick spouse, or something like that which changes your life situation dramatically.
A decision by the overwhelming majority of the elders that you cannot in good conscience support. I would rather see an elder resign than undermine the decisions of the entire eldership. Notice I did not say a decision you do not agree with. I am a believer that elder votes do not have to be unanimous. But elder decisions must be unanimous. In other words, if outvoted... support the decision. If you cannot, have the integrity to resign.
I do have a couple of suggestions that might help clarify some individual situations. If there are several men in the eldership, try a leave of absence. Work may settle down, or the family situation might change.
The other suggestion is to do elder selection every 3-5 years. This lets a man have opportunity to serve again if the circumstances change. By the way, I believe every elder ought to go thru the selection process. Getting away from the"once an elder, always an elder" might make it easier for men to step aside for a season of life.
If not sure about your mental, physical, and emotional fitness to serve as an elder when aging ... ask someone. Ask your family. Ask your fellow elders. Ask your flock.
Next time I will start in on what I believe are the real reasons that cause elders to quit.
But before I get to the things that really cause elders to resign, let me touch on some reasons that are individual specific. That is, things that have to do with individuals and not with church life.
I am not going to deal with things that disqualify a man from serving as an elder. I think the need to resign in that case should be self-evident. Nor am I thinking of the natural aging process. That happens to every elder.
A change in job situation requiring much more time than usual. It may be more responsibility. It may be working out of town for the foreseeable future. If a man really does not feel he has the time to be available to his flock, he should follow his conscience and resign.
Family situation that is going to consume the majority of his time and energy. I do think a man's family is more important than his church family. I would not serve as an elder until my kids were grown. So I am not thinking so much of raising children. They always demand time and attention. And we should give it. I am thinking of things like aging parents, sick spouse, or something like that which changes your life situation dramatically.
A decision by the overwhelming majority of the elders that you cannot in good conscience support. I would rather see an elder resign than undermine the decisions of the entire eldership. Notice I did not say a decision you do not agree with. I am a believer that elder votes do not have to be unanimous. But elder decisions must be unanimous. In other words, if outvoted... support the decision. If you cannot, have the integrity to resign.
I do have a couple of suggestions that might help clarify some individual situations. If there are several men in the eldership, try a leave of absence. Work may settle down, or the family situation might change.
The other suggestion is to do elder selection every 3-5 years. This lets a man have opportunity to serve again if the circumstances change. By the way, I believe every elder ought to go thru the selection process. Getting away from the"once an elder, always an elder" might make it easier for men to step aside for a season of life.
If not sure about your mental, physical, and emotional fitness to serve as an elder when aging ... ask someone. Ask your family. Ask your fellow elders. Ask your flock.
Next time I will start in on what I believe are the real reasons that cause elders to quit.
