Wednesday, October 10, 2012
When elders quit...
I talk to elders all over the country, and even in many parts of the world, and one of the most common topics of discussion is about whether or not to resign. Or, in congregations that periodically have the elders go thru a selection process, how many wonder if they want to serve again.
I serve with a group of 19 elders, and at any given time, almost half of them wrestle with this. I do. Constantly.
So I thought I would think thru why elders quit. Or want to quit. Or think they should quit.
But I want to spend this post talking about why elders do not quit.
They do not quit because it is too time consuming. Most elders I know spend an amazing amount of time shepherding and leading the congregation. I would suspect most average 20 hours a week at least. And many of them still are working to make a living. But that is not a reason I hear very often.
It is not because of the pain of shepherding hurting, messed up people. That's what we signed up for. Of course it is painful. But one thing has helped me to cope with helping hurting people. They are talking to us because they want to follow Jesus better. They want to heal their marriage, or they want to conquer their addiction, or they want to get advice on how to teach or help others. In an odd sort of way, that is exciting and energizing.
It is not because of hard decisions. We know we have to make hard decisions. Decisions about doctrinal matters, personnel decisions, resource allocation. While sometimes emotional, sometimes frustrating, sometimes hard to come to agreement... most elderships eventually make decisions. Most of the time they are a clear majority decision. And most of the time they are right.
It is not even because of criticism or complaining. Of course that hurts, but it rarely causes us to decide to quit. Most of the time it is only a small minority who do this, and you will not make them happy anyway. We know that.
It is not because we realize that we are not worthy to lead. Of course we are not worthy. Only Jesus is. Believe me... every elder I know is very aware of his sin, his weakness, his unworthiness. But we serve because our flock and our Savior called us. And we answered.
So I am fairly confident that these are not what makes elders wrestle with whether or not to continue to lead.
Next post I will talk some about what I think are legitimate reasons to consider stepping aside. But these are rare and easily understood. And then I will share what I think are the real reasons elders quit.
And I recognize how personal this may be. So let me say that the reasons above have not caused me to think about quitting. Maybe others, but I really don't think so in most situations. But eventually I will share the ones that do.
In the meantime, feel free to share your thoughts.
Comments:
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Oh Steve...you got my little psychological mind rolling!
I was thinking that it might be conflict amongst the eldership. I have never even been close to being an elder, but I have seen some very close-knit groups of men ripped apart by rivalries and jealousy. Behind that, may be health (including declining mental) and family problems?
I am definitely interested in the next posts!
I was thinking that it might be conflict amongst the eldership. I have never even been close to being an elder, but I have seen some very close-knit groups of men ripped apart by rivalries and jealousy. Behind that, may be health (including declining mental) and family problems?
I am definitely interested in the next posts!
Daniel, Good points and you have anticipated where I am going over the next couple of posts. Maybe men like you can help avoid some of this.
blessings
blessings
In life we choose to volunteer our time in different area's that we feel strongly about. I have never read a passage in the Bible that said elders, or decons signed on for life to that position.
We can easily become so tethered to a volunteer position, that the reason for doing the job is lost. Stepping back, and a re-examination of the position, and why we are there, is necessary.
We all should be answering the call of christiany, we need to be careful about becoming deaf.
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We can easily become so tethered to a volunteer position, that the reason for doing the job is lost. Stepping back, and a re-examination of the position, and why we are there, is necessary.
We all should be answering the call of christiany, we need to be careful about becoming deaf.
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