Tuesday, October 15, 2013
I do not have to help everyone who asks...
I don't think I am the only one that wrestles with what is the appropriate way to help people in financial crisis. It is an especially difficult thing if they are part of my community of faith. I passionately believe that we are obligated to take care of each other. And I we take care of our needs before we worry about those in the world. We help everyone, but especially we help other Christians. And by the way, that is one of the great ways to reach people... they see how Christians provide for each other.
We have had a number of members who have needed help with house payments, Dr. bills, utilities, food, etc. I love that we have a box in our foyer that we use to collect funds to help each other. I give regularly to it. We have fed people, made utility payments, house payments, and let people live with us. So we believe in helping people.
But I have come to accept that it is OK to not help certain people. Here are those that I do not help.
The person who will not work. I don't mean can't work. I mean won't work. They cannot find a job that is suitable, or that fulfills them, or that they like, or that pays them what they deserve. My church is full of people that go to jobs like that every day. So can those in need.
"But I can't find a job that pays enough." OK, we'll help make up the difference in what you need. But not if you aren't trying.
Those of you who have known me a long time will remember the time in my life when I mowed yards, roofed houses, and delivered phone books to feed my family. So I have decided I do not have to help the man who won't work.
Or the family who wants someone to stay home with the kids. I love Moms who want to work at home. Just don't think I am obligated to help you maintain a standard of living beyond what a one income family can afford.
And yes, Marsha stayed home with the kids till they went to school and then she taught school for 25 years.
If you live in a house clearly beyond your income level, I am not obligated to keep you in it. I have given spiritual counsel to families that involved selling their house and "moving down". Some have taken that advice. I was happy to help in the transition time. Others have refused. I am obligated to make sure my brother has shelter, not that he lives in his dream home.
I have offered to swap houses with people who thought they were about to lose their homes. None of them have taken me up on it.
And yes, we have lived in the same house for almost 30 years and it is paid for.
So here is my point. If you are in need, I have to help you. But not if you will not work, or have to maintain a standard of living far above what you make. And do not ask me to help you with what God has given me if you refuse to do what I did.
No one has to live like me. Just don't think I have to help you.
Feel free to respond.
We have had a number of members who have needed help with house payments, Dr. bills, utilities, food, etc. I love that we have a box in our foyer that we use to collect funds to help each other. I give regularly to it. We have fed people, made utility payments, house payments, and let people live with us. So we believe in helping people.
But I have come to accept that it is OK to not help certain people. Here are those that I do not help.
The person who will not work. I don't mean can't work. I mean won't work. They cannot find a job that is suitable, or that fulfills them, or that they like, or that pays them what they deserve. My church is full of people that go to jobs like that every day. So can those in need.
"But I can't find a job that pays enough." OK, we'll help make up the difference in what you need. But not if you aren't trying.
Those of you who have known me a long time will remember the time in my life when I mowed yards, roofed houses, and delivered phone books to feed my family. So I have decided I do not have to help the man who won't work.
Or the family who wants someone to stay home with the kids. I love Moms who want to work at home. Just don't think I am obligated to help you maintain a standard of living beyond what a one income family can afford.
And yes, Marsha stayed home with the kids till they went to school and then she taught school for 25 years.
If you live in a house clearly beyond your income level, I am not obligated to keep you in it. I have given spiritual counsel to families that involved selling their house and "moving down". Some have taken that advice. I was happy to help in the transition time. Others have refused. I am obligated to make sure my brother has shelter, not that he lives in his dream home.
I have offered to swap houses with people who thought they were about to lose their homes. None of them have taken me up on it.
And yes, we have lived in the same house for almost 30 years and it is paid for.
So here is my point. If you are in need, I have to help you. But not if you will not work, or have to maintain a standard of living far above what you make. And do not ask me to help you with what God has given me if you refuse to do what I did.
No one has to live like me. Just don't think I have to help you.
Feel free to respond.
Comments:
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Interesting-conditional giving? We all do it, or have been guilty of doing it in the past. There are always people who try to take advantage of a system that has been set up to help the needy.
I learned a long time ago, I am going to be judged on my response to a situation, and how I addressed it.
It has made such a difference in my life to respond to situations of need, mistreatment, theft, etc. in this manner. I do not set up conditions to be met, I just do what I can, what I will be judged by, and go on. It is very liberating.
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I learned a long time ago, I am going to be judged on my response to a situation, and how I addressed it.
It has made such a difference in my life to respond to situations of need, mistreatment, theft, etc. in this manner. I do not set up conditions to be met, I just do what I can, what I will be judged by, and go on. It is very liberating.
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