Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Are we asking the wrong people the wrong questions?
Why did you leave?
What could we have done to keep you?
What can we do to get you back?
These are questions I recently saw that were from an exit interview corporations use with workers that leave to go work somewhere else.
Naturally I thought about how these are the very questions churches ask when members leave to go elsewhere.
And I wondered if we are asking the wrong questions? And are asking the wrong people?
I do think there may be value in finding out why people leave. As a shepherd, I want to know if any of my flock is in danger. Because sometimes people are not leaving my church to work and worship somewhere else. Sometimes they are leaving because they are in trouble spiritually. Yes, I do believe that people who drop out of church are in danger. But that is a subject for another post someday.
But here is why I worry some about this. We tend to overreact to the answers. Every church I know has to guard against this. If we have 3 families leave because it was too hot in the auditorium, we immediately have a discussion about turning on the A/C for the next service.
That may be a discussion that needs to be held -- and obviously I am not really talking about temperatures. But for every unhappy family that leaves, what if we talked to a family that has not left. What if we started asking people why they stay, not why they leave? What if most people think the temperature is OK?
I wonder if that would lead to more sharing about what we are doing right. In all of the leadership meetings I have been in, it is very common to hear a discussion started with a reference to why so and so left and what are we going to do about it. It is rare to hear a discussion started by referring to a discussion with someone who is happy to be part of our church so how do we emphasize that and maybe even make it better.
Maybe we ought to be sure and interview everyone who comes to our church also. Why did you choose to work and worship with us?
It just seems everywhere I turn I hear discussions about what is wrong with Christianity, or the group they are part of, or the congregation where they worship... or used to worship.
So maybe it is time those of us who are staying start speaking up about what is right.
So maybe I'll post some about what I think is right about Christianity. And right about the group I am part of of, the churches of Christ. And maybe even why I am at Southern Hills.
Maybe some of you who are happy where you are in terms of church will want to share why you stay.
But one request: why you stay should not be about what is wrong with other religions, other churches, or other congregations.
I want to hear the good.
Let me hear it.
What could we have done to keep you?
What can we do to get you back?
These are questions I recently saw that were from an exit interview corporations use with workers that leave to go work somewhere else.
Naturally I thought about how these are the very questions churches ask when members leave to go elsewhere.
And I wondered if we are asking the wrong questions? And are asking the wrong people?
I do think there may be value in finding out why people leave. As a shepherd, I want to know if any of my flock is in danger. Because sometimes people are not leaving my church to work and worship somewhere else. Sometimes they are leaving because they are in trouble spiritually. Yes, I do believe that people who drop out of church are in danger. But that is a subject for another post someday.
But here is why I worry some about this. We tend to overreact to the answers. Every church I know has to guard against this. If we have 3 families leave because it was too hot in the auditorium, we immediately have a discussion about turning on the A/C for the next service.
That may be a discussion that needs to be held -- and obviously I am not really talking about temperatures. But for every unhappy family that leaves, what if we talked to a family that has not left. What if we started asking people why they stay, not why they leave? What if most people think the temperature is OK?
I wonder if that would lead to more sharing about what we are doing right. In all of the leadership meetings I have been in, it is very common to hear a discussion started with a reference to why so and so left and what are we going to do about it. It is rare to hear a discussion started by referring to a discussion with someone who is happy to be part of our church so how do we emphasize that and maybe even make it better.
Maybe we ought to be sure and interview everyone who comes to our church also. Why did you choose to work and worship with us?
It just seems everywhere I turn I hear discussions about what is wrong with Christianity, or the group they are part of, or the congregation where they worship... or used to worship.
So maybe it is time those of us who are staying start speaking up about what is right.
So maybe I'll post some about what I think is right about Christianity. And right about the group I am part of of, the churches of Christ. And maybe even why I am at Southern Hills.
Maybe some of you who are happy where you are in terms of church will want to share why you stay.
But one request: why you stay should not be about what is wrong with other religions, other churches, or other congregations.
I want to hear the good.
Let me hear it.
