Thursday, September 25, 2014
Lies about marriage and divorce
Maybe it is just among people I know and not some kind of church-wide trend. I pray that it all it is. But I have been saddened by the number of divorces I am seeing among Christians in their 50's and 60's. And when asking why, I continue to hear them repeat what I believe to be lies from Satan.
And let me point out that I am talking about marriages where both mates profess to be Christians and claim to be living under the Lordship of Jesus. And of course I do not believe every marriage dissolves because the following reasons. And yes there are reasons for divorce. Jesus acknowledged that. I am talking about something different.
Excuses used by Christians in an attempt to justify abandoning their mate.
And I believe them to be lies and contrary to God's call for faithfulness.
Here are three of them.
"God wants me to be happy in my remaining years."
Of course God wants you to be happy but I think as Christians we should recognize that he knows best what makes us happy, not us. Maybe the thing to do is work on your marriage. Or seek contentment in Christ. Or quit listening to the world's definition of happiness. And if you really are not happy in your marriage, maybe the call of God in your life is to be faithful in a hard circumstance.
It just seems this idea centers around what you want more than what God wants. Christianity is not about us... but God.
"My mate is keeping me from doing the real ministry God has called me to."
When you married the two of you became one. So when God calls you (as a family) to ministry, it should be a call you both hear and feel, not just one of you. And faithfulness to your marriage is a higher calling than faithfulness to a particular ministry.
To dissolve your marriage to do better ministry seems contradictory at best and hypocritical at worst. I cannot fathom a ministry that does not make following Jesus the core message.
"I have lost my identity and need to find me again."
Seriously. At 50 or 60 years old. And married for 30 or 40 years. It seems more like you want to find a new identity that will be "better" than the one you have now.
And as a Christian, you have your identity. It is in Jesus. And doing something God hates (divorce) is not compatible with who you claim to be.
I know marriage can be tough. At 20 or at 60. So is life. We live in a fallen world. Every marriage has pressure and battles. You did not marry a perfect mate. Neither did they. The answer is not to quit. It is to be faithful.
So when your Christian friends listen to the lies of Satan, speak God words into their life. Call for repentance.
When our young families repeat these, speak truth into their marriages.
Hard times come, Jesus overcomes. Be faithful. To him and to your marriage.
That is what God calls you to in this life.
And let me point out that I am talking about marriages where both mates profess to be Christians and claim to be living under the Lordship of Jesus. And of course I do not believe every marriage dissolves because the following reasons. And yes there are reasons for divorce. Jesus acknowledged that. I am talking about something different.
Excuses used by Christians in an attempt to justify abandoning their mate.
And I believe them to be lies and contrary to God's call for faithfulness.
Here are three of them.
"God wants me to be happy in my remaining years."
Of course God wants you to be happy but I think as Christians we should recognize that he knows best what makes us happy, not us. Maybe the thing to do is work on your marriage. Or seek contentment in Christ. Or quit listening to the world's definition of happiness. And if you really are not happy in your marriage, maybe the call of God in your life is to be faithful in a hard circumstance.
It just seems this idea centers around what you want more than what God wants. Christianity is not about us... but God.
"My mate is keeping me from doing the real ministry God has called me to."
When you married the two of you became one. So when God calls you (as a family) to ministry, it should be a call you both hear and feel, not just one of you. And faithfulness to your marriage is a higher calling than faithfulness to a particular ministry.
To dissolve your marriage to do better ministry seems contradictory at best and hypocritical at worst. I cannot fathom a ministry that does not make following Jesus the core message.
"I have lost my identity and need to find me again."
Seriously. At 50 or 60 years old. And married for 30 or 40 years. It seems more like you want to find a new identity that will be "better" than the one you have now.
And as a Christian, you have your identity. It is in Jesus. And doing something God hates (divorce) is not compatible with who you claim to be.
I know marriage can be tough. At 20 or at 60. So is life. We live in a fallen world. Every marriage has pressure and battles. You did not marry a perfect mate. Neither did they. The answer is not to quit. It is to be faithful.
So when your Christian friends listen to the lies of Satan, speak God words into their life. Call for repentance.
When our young families repeat these, speak truth into their marriages.
Hard times come, Jesus overcomes. Be faithful. To him and to your marriage.
That is what God calls you to in this life.
Comments:
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I assume there is more to your blog in regards to the marriage issue such as: are the couples who divorce changing everything about their lifestyle starting with their church/religious preferences?
For those that stay in your flock are they getting what is necessary to sustain them in their daily lives? Why is the "grass" greener on the other side of the fence?
It (divorce) is not a simple matter, it is a cumulative issue developed over time. To me the question is: at what point does intervention come in from the shepards who protect their flock? Are the signs of "sickness" being missed?
I know there is not a simple answer to the problem, and some of the blame goes to the couple, but is there more to go around?
Just my thoughts-
For those that stay in your flock are they getting what is necessary to sustain them in their daily lives? Why is the "grass" greener on the other side of the fence?
It (divorce) is not a simple matter, it is a cumulative issue developed over time. To me the question is: at what point does intervention come in from the shepards who protect their flock? Are the signs of "sickness" being missed?
I know there is not a simple answer to the problem, and some of the blame goes to the couple, but is there more to go around?
Just my thoughts-
Eloise.. good thoughts. I do think churches have to be more proactive about strengthening marriages, warning of the temptations, and or early intervention when "sickness" signs appear. I think most churches spend time with the young families. We have to do better with all couples.
Thanks for the reminder.
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Thanks for the reminder.
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