Ridgell's Originals

As I have blogged recently about Christians and divorce, it dawned on me that I ought to remind everyone that lots of faithful Christians end up with marriage trouble.  Sometimes, people who love God commit sins that are incredibly damaging to a marriage.  Sometimes Christians take their marriage for granted and wake it to realize they are in trouble.

Or Christians lose their focus on Jesus and end up in situations that have deeply wounded their relationship with their mate.

And God heals a lot of broken marriages.  If two people love God, he can fix their marriage.  After all, God hates divorce.  And he is in the business of changing lives.

So here are the words my wife and I love to hear from marriages in trouble.

I love God.  It starts there.

I love you.  In in badly damaged marriages, love can be restored.  You fell in love once, you can fall in love again.  But real love is a choice, not just a feeling.  And real love acts for the good of others.  So words may not be enough, but they can be a place to start repair work.  They give hope.

I am sorry.  Don't assume your mate knows you are sorry.  Say it.  And mean it.  Then follow thru on what it means.  Being sorry is the beginning of of a long, hard process to change.  It is the start of repentance.  Sorry for sin, for hurtful attitudes, for neglect, and for pain caused.

Me too.  I don not believe in the "not my fault" rule.  One partner may have crossed lines they should not have, but I never seen a perfect mate.  And that is not the same as saying it is your fault.  There is plenty of fault to go around.  Healthy marriages heal when both commit to work on ways they can each strengthen the relationship.

You are forgiven.  Powerful words.  And again, just the beginning.  Forgiveness takes real work too.  It is hard.  It is worth it.

Of course there are so many more things to be said about healing broken marriages. I am not a professional counselor.  But Marsha and I do a lot of spiritual counseling.  We have seen a lot of marriages in trouble.  We have seen many -- even most -- of them healed.  So these are just some things we have learned.

Truth be told, most good marriages I know about had times when they could have fallen apart.  One, or both, could have quit. And maybe that is the key for all of us.

Don't give up.  Don't quit.      

I know God can fix marriages.  After all, Marsha and I are living proof.

So to all the struggling marriages who may read this...

God is the great fixer.  Try some of these words..

And see what God will do.