Thursday, January 15, 2015
When elders make disappointing decisions...
Sometimes elders make decisions that disappoint people. Maybe you have been terribly disappointed by your elders. It might be a personnel issue. Elders hire and fire ministers and staff. It may be a lack of support for a program you cherish. Or a decision about worship matters that is not the decision you think best.
I too have been disappointed by elder decisions at various times. I think anyone who has been very involved in church has been disappointed by their elders. I am an elder. I have participated in making decisions that I knew some would be hurt by. Certainly I have helped make decisions that I knew when we made them there would be some people hurt and even angry. Our eldership has had to decide things that no matter what was done... somebody was going to be hurt or think we were wrong. We even know at times that what we decided would cause some people to leave. Sometimes we knew there would be people that would react in inappropriate ways.
So here a few things to think about when your elders make decisions that disappoint you.
Elders have one agenda: get as many of their flock to heaven as possible. We are very aware that we are going to answer for the souls in our care. That factors into every decision.
You are not the only member of our flock. We have a whole church to think about. We cannot think about just what the older members want. Or just what the youth want. Or any other group. Or just what works best for you.
We know things you do not. And we are not going to tell you. It is so tempting to tell the things we know in order to justify our decisions. Sometimes these things come out later. Maybe they never do. But yes we do bite our lips sometimes.
So sometimes you need to trust us. I understand that may be hard at times. But you selected us for our spiritual maturity. So trust that we have thought thru the decision and that we are doing what we think best for our flock.
Sometimes some of us are disappointed too. At Southern Hills, our elder decisions are unanimous. Our votes may not be. But I can tell you that no major decision is made at Southern Hills that at least 2/3 of the elders agree with. And most of the time, the major decisions are remarkably close to unanimous. But when we do not agree, we do exactly what we ask you to do: submit to the decision of our fellow elders.
We may be wrong. Sometimes we make the wrong decision. When we do, we correct it as soon as we can. After all, we are just human. We are not perfect.
One elder really cannot impose his will on everyone else. Of course we have certain elders that have incredible influence. But one man dictatorship just does not happen at Southern Hills. Hasn't for decades now. And the way we work, one man can't. But some of us need shepherding also. And we get it from our fellow elders. So yes some have more credibility because they have helped us or our families. Some have more Bible knowledge. Some have more experience. But not one of us runs things.
We have feelings too. Of course it hurts when one of our sheep attacks us. But it comes with the territory. Just because we do not respond to those attacks do not mean that we do not feel them. And yes our wives feel them also. As do our children, even the grown ones. And at Southern Hills, most of our elders have grown kids with families as part of our flock.
Remember that decision making is a small part of what we do as shepherds. Think about the prayers for you sickness. The blessings for your babies. For your baptisms. Showing up at the hospitals. And the funeral home. Helping heal your broken relationships. Fighting with you for your faith. Being with you as you fought against your addictions. Sending you out to talk about Jesus. Giving you spiritual counsel. That is really who we are and what we do. Wearing out our knees in prayer and our Bibles in study. Giving our time to help you on your Jesus journey.
So here is what I can promise you as an elder. And I think this is true for all of my fellow elders. Actually, this is true for most of the elders I know well.
I am going to heaven. I am going to lead my family there. And I am giving my life to getting all my flock there. I am not perfect. But follow me -- us -- and I promise you will get home safely.
God thank you for the men I know around the world who are committed to leading your people. Thank you for men I serve with at Southern Hills. They love you. Bless them and protect their families. Give us wisdom. And thank you for my flock. For their trust and for their faith. We will follow your son all the way home.
I too have been disappointed by elder decisions at various times. I think anyone who has been very involved in church has been disappointed by their elders. I am an elder. I have participated in making decisions that I knew some would be hurt by. Certainly I have helped make decisions that I knew when we made them there would be some people hurt and even angry. Our eldership has had to decide things that no matter what was done... somebody was going to be hurt or think we were wrong. We even know at times that what we decided would cause some people to leave. Sometimes we knew there would be people that would react in inappropriate ways.
So here a few things to think about when your elders make decisions that disappoint you.
Elders have one agenda: get as many of their flock to heaven as possible. We are very aware that we are going to answer for the souls in our care. That factors into every decision.
You are not the only member of our flock. We have a whole church to think about. We cannot think about just what the older members want. Or just what the youth want. Or any other group. Or just what works best for you.
We know things you do not. And we are not going to tell you. It is so tempting to tell the things we know in order to justify our decisions. Sometimes these things come out later. Maybe they never do. But yes we do bite our lips sometimes.
So sometimes you need to trust us. I understand that may be hard at times. But you selected us for our spiritual maturity. So trust that we have thought thru the decision and that we are doing what we think best for our flock.
Sometimes some of us are disappointed too. At Southern Hills, our elder decisions are unanimous. Our votes may not be. But I can tell you that no major decision is made at Southern Hills that at least 2/3 of the elders agree with. And most of the time, the major decisions are remarkably close to unanimous. But when we do not agree, we do exactly what we ask you to do: submit to the decision of our fellow elders.
We may be wrong. Sometimes we make the wrong decision. When we do, we correct it as soon as we can. After all, we are just human. We are not perfect.
One elder really cannot impose his will on everyone else. Of course we have certain elders that have incredible influence. But one man dictatorship just does not happen at Southern Hills. Hasn't for decades now. And the way we work, one man can't. But some of us need shepherding also. And we get it from our fellow elders. So yes some have more credibility because they have helped us or our families. Some have more Bible knowledge. Some have more experience. But not one of us runs things.
We have feelings too. Of course it hurts when one of our sheep attacks us. But it comes with the territory. Just because we do not respond to those attacks do not mean that we do not feel them. And yes our wives feel them also. As do our children, even the grown ones. And at Southern Hills, most of our elders have grown kids with families as part of our flock.
Remember that decision making is a small part of what we do as shepherds. Think about the prayers for you sickness. The blessings for your babies. For your baptisms. Showing up at the hospitals. And the funeral home. Helping heal your broken relationships. Fighting with you for your faith. Being with you as you fought against your addictions. Sending you out to talk about Jesus. Giving you spiritual counsel. That is really who we are and what we do. Wearing out our knees in prayer and our Bibles in study. Giving our time to help you on your Jesus journey.
So here is what I can promise you as an elder. And I think this is true for all of my fellow elders. Actually, this is true for most of the elders I know well.
I am going to heaven. I am going to lead my family there. And I am giving my life to getting all my flock there. I am not perfect. But follow me -- us -- and I promise you will get home safely.
God thank you for the men I know around the world who are committed to leading your people. Thank you for men I serve with at Southern Hills. They love you. Bless them and protect their families. Give us wisdom. And thank you for my flock. For their trust and for their faith. We will follow your son all the way home.
