Tuesday, February 08, 2022
When leaders get their feelings hurt
It does happen. Elders, preachers, their wives. Even their kids sometimes. They get their feelings hurt. You need thick skin to be a spiritual leader. It is hard. Most people never know how many hours you spend trying to help people. Investing in lives. Late nights. Emotional investment. Tears shed. And that is just for the real spiritual leaders, not just the "go to meetings" leaders.
You give solid, practical, truthful advice. And the person you are trying to help gets mad. Or they leave. Or they lie about you.
They get personal. They bring up your faults. Or if they know about it, they bring up your past. It hurts. Because leaders have feelings too.
So how do you handle the hurt feelings?
Here are a few suggestions.
They are rebelling against God, not just you. When you have to confront someone over their life choices, or when they demand acceptance of sin choices, you have to remember it is not personal. They are refusing to submit to God, not you.
Stand on Scripture. All of our leadership advice has to be grounded in Scripture. So when they yell or get angry, I just point out that we are talking about the Bible. So be mad at God, not the messenger.
It is not your job to make everyone happy.
People sometimes leave no matter what.
Some are going to live the way they want.
Some people do not react well because they are fighting a war within themselves. Be patient. Be loving. Be there. Sometimes they do in fact surrender to God and repent.
You cannot save everyone. That is not even your job.
I find it helpful to remember that God -- and sometimes His leaders -- much have been really frustrated with me sometimes. And I wanted to do better.
This is a hard one, but I have found it true. When you have seen someone at their worst, when you have waded into the blood, mud, and tears of their life, when you have lived thru the worst experience of their life... You are a living rememder of that time. They love you, they appreciate you, they will always be grateful. And they will not always want to be reminded.
Spiritual leadership is hard. Abraham, Moses, David, Peter, Paul. They all get it. They understood rejection and rebellion. They got their feelings hurt. They cried. And they kept following Jesus. They kept pointing people to Jesus. And they never gave up.
You shouldn't either.
Because sometimes they listen. They respond. They repent. They remain faithful.
