Tuesday, February 22, 2022
Why elders have to be strong family men
The Bible is clear about the kind of men who lead spiritually.
They are to be strong family men.
Husband of one wife. Believing children.
Over the years I have heard a lot of discussion over what that means. Defining one wife. Married? Only once? Believing children. One child? At least one baptized? All of them baptized? What about after they leave home? Even hear some saying that what was said to a church 2000 years ago doesn't matter today anyway.
So why does God put such emphasis on the family of an elder?
You need to be in a healthy marriage. It controls tempation. It provides an example for struggling marriages. An elder's wife provides counsel and advice that you would not always think about. Women may feel much more comfortable reaching out to your wife than to you. In practical shepherding, it is often a "couple" effort. So I really think in many ways, churches select elder couples. And frankly, if your wife is not fully bought in, you cannot be an effective shepherd. To many late nights. People in your home. Living life with those in the wilderness as you lead them home. Trips into the "far country" to bring home the prodigals. It takes you both. And you have to be strong together.
The Bible even explains why elders have believing children. They are your body of word that show what kind of elder you will be. If a man can't manage his own family, how can he take care of the church? I think you can take a look at a man's family and get a real sense of what the church will look like under his leadership.
God just didn't make arbitrary rules about the kind of elders to lead his people. There are solid reasons for what He said. Not that He has to explain anything to us. And sometimes we don't get it even when He does.
But I think it is pretty special that God would let us know why elders are to be strong family men.
And one last practical hint: Talk to the man's family before making him an elder. If they are not fully supportive, it will never work. In a church that "nominates" elders candidates, I think it interesting to see if a man's own family nominates him. It always mattered to me. I figured if my own family didn't think I would be a good elder, then I probably wouldn't be.
So think about the kind of man you want to lead you spiritually. And part of that is to take a look at his family.
