Tuesday, October 31, 2023
Why I have the Ridgell Rules
I call them the Ridgell Rules. I adopted them several years ago and by now they are an ingrained habit. I have shared them with lots of ministers, elders, and Christian brothers. I later found out that lots of Christian leaders use something similar.
Basically, they are rules for interactions with women. If you really want to see the list, it is included at the end of my book, Wounds into Scars. Some think mine are way too rigid and strict. Some argue that there have to be exceptions to the rules to be an effective church leader. But I think that defeats the reasoning behind the rules.
So here are the three reasons I have the Ridgell Rules and why I encourage you to develop your own set of rules for how you conduct yourself.
First of all, they are for my protection. I never want to be put in a position where I can be tempted. Satan is clever enough without my helping him by putting myself in potentially dangerous situations. Never assume you are not vulnerable. Be vigilant about your life. Be aware of your weakness. Don't think you are immune to temptation. Most Christians that fall did not intend to do so. So I have a set of rules that protect me from temptation.
Second, these rules help others be confident and safe. There are things I just will not do and that gives confidence to my wife, my church, and those I help. Those we lead have to know they are protected.
And finally, it protects you from gossip and false accusations. The rules eliminate "he said, she said" situations. They even eliminate misunderstandings. If you are never alone with someone, they cannot accuse of things you did not do.
Two other things I always emphasize.
Don't break the rules.
Have accountability people in your life that will help you to keep the rules.
So I live by these rules. They have helped. Does everyone else have to? Nope. But they do help.
They help restore confidence. They help prevent problems.
They will protect you from yourself.
They will assure others you are to be trusted.
They will protect you from others.
And they will help you honor God.
