Ridgell's Originals

 So our daughter, Jamie Ridgell, has a birthday next Monday.  Well, she's actually a daughter-in-law but not really.  She's our daughter.

So as is my custom... here are just a few of the reasons I love Jamie and am proud of her.  And why we have pretty much celebrated for most of this month.

Jamie loves Jesus.  She reads her Bible.  She prays.  She loves other people.  She serves.  Those are things a Jesus lover does.

She values the lives of those who cannot always speak for themselves.  She works at Pregnancy Help 4 U.  Not only does she save lives of the unborn, but she actively seeks to help the mothers -- and sometimes the fathers -- that come there.  Prays with lots of them.  Gives God credit. 

She is a nurse.  Lives matter.  Helping people matters.

She loves her family.  Loves Joe Don and her kids.  Loves her parents (all four of us).  Loves my Mom.  And her siblings (both by birth and by marriage).  Loves all her nieces and nephews.  And extended family.

She is a friend.  You can count on Jamie.  She delivers meals, opens her home, listens, gives good advice.  

So thankful she is ours.  More thankful she is a daughter of the King.

So thanks God for connecting Jamie with our Joe Don.  You have done amazing things with their family.  I look forward to what You will do with them and thru them in the future. 

# posted by Steve @ 5:00 AM 0 comments

 The Bible is clear about the kind of men who lead spiritually.  

They are to be strong family men.

Husband of one wife.  Believing children.

Over the years I have heard a lot of discussion over what that means.  Defining one wife.  Married?  Only once?  Believing children.  One child?  At least one baptized?  All of them baptized?  What about after they leave home?  Even hear some saying that what was said to a church 2000 years ago doesn't matter today anyway.

So why does God put such emphasis on the family of an elder?

You need to be in a healthy marriage.  It controls tempation.  It provides an example for struggling marriages.  An elder's wife provides counsel and advice that you would not always think about.  Women may feel much more comfortable reaching out to your wife than to you.  In practical shepherding, it is often a "couple" effort.  So I really think in many ways, churches select elder couples.  And frankly, if your wife is not fully bought in, you cannot be an effective shepherd.  To many late nights.  People in your home.  Living life with those in the wilderness as you lead them home. Trips into the "far country" to bring home the prodigals.  It takes you both.  And you have to be strong together.  

The Bible even explains why elders have believing children.  They are your body of word that show what kind of elder you will be.  If a man can't manage his own family, how can he take care of the church?  I think you can take a look at a man's family and get a real sense of what the church will look like under his leadership.  

God just didn't make arbitrary rules about the kind of elders to lead his people.  There are solid reasons for what He said.  Not that He has to explain anything to us.  And sometimes we don't get it even when He does.  

But I think it is pretty special that God would let us know why elders are to be strong family men.

And one last practical hint:  Talk to the man's family before making him an elder.  If they are not fully supportive, it will never work.  In a church that "nominates" elders candidates, I think it interesting to see if a man's own family nominates him.  It always mattered to me.  I figured if my own family didn't think I would be a good elder, then I probably wouldn't be.

So think about the kind of man you want to lead you spiritually.  And part of that is to take a look at his family.  

# posted by Steve @ 5:00 AM 0 comments

 This is the way it works in most churches.  The preacher is the one up front sharing a message from God's Word.  You may have an elder give a wrap-up where they make a couple of announcements, endorse the message, and lead a prayer.  Larger congregations often have the full-time minsitry staff do all the public speaking. 

So when someone has a problem or needs spiritual help, the first person they thing of is the preacher.  Especially if he is called the pastor.  Sheep go to the shepherd.  

And the senior minister, or the youth minister, or the children's minister get exhausted.  They have their regular ministry responsibilities and then they have to deal with the spiritual problems and crisis that arise.

Until they realize they cannot do it all.  Frustrated and burnt out, they cannot do it.  Even worse, they find out that some members in crisis will not come to them.  Everyone does not respond to one person.  Don't like your style (even if 9 out of 10 do).  Or your personality does not fit everyone.  

But what about elders?  Aren't they supposed to be the pastors?

And here is where the problem begins.

Many elders are frustrated because all they do is act as a Board of Directors.  Not in the lives of their flock.  Not helping.  Spending time in meeting after meeting. Deciding building issues.  Budgets.  Admin issues.  Approving staff initiatives.  Personnel decisions.  

That is not really what many elders signed up for and it is not really how it looks in the Bible.

But people won'd go to the elders.  

That is fixable.  Start by having the elders recognized more.  Identify your elders and their wives.  Encourage people to go to them.  Have an elder give the invitation.  Let the church hear them say "come to us."  When members do approach the preacher for spiritual counseling, take them to the elders.

If you really think the elders are shepherds.  Multiple elders give a better chance that your members will know and connect to at least one of them.  

But preachers have to believe it themselves.  You have to relinquish the power.  You may not know everything.  You certainly will not be in control of everything.  

And you have to trust the elders to do it.

I do know that some elders talk about wanting to be shepherds, but not really.  They like leading from the rear.  Or passing down decisions.  They want to serve as a Board.  Shepherding means late nights and inconvenient phone calls.  Elders may have to change their job description.

Preachers may even think that the elders will not do a good job if not led by you.  Let it go.  

And it is easy to let the full-time worker handle everything, not the volunteers.  Which may be why in the New Testament there is very little about full-time ministers and more about paid elders.

But you have to decide who the shepherds are.  

And then live by it.

# posted by Steve @ 5:00 AM 2 comments

 Jesus warned his disciples it would happen.  Read John 16.  Disciples would be killed by people who thought they were doing a service for God.

Still happens.

I have seen so much spiritual damage done by people who think they are doing a service for God.

Spiritual murder in the name of Jesus.

It happens when you condemn and label people because they do not understand or agree with the traditional position on certain things.  So you run them off with a healthy dose of condemnation and wonder why they turn bitter.  Sometimes even give up on church.  You may be absolutely convinced you are right in you views.  You may be certain that God wants church to look exactly like you are doing it.  But the mean arrogance shown to those who disagree is incredibly damaging.  

It happens on the other end of the spectrum also.  You become conviced God wants things done differently.  So convinced that you have to change things.  Because you are convinced that is what God wants.  But everybody does not understand or agree with your new insight.  And it makes you mad.  Let them leave.  Good ridance.  They are just a hindrance to what God wants anyway.  

You may think you are doing a service for God.  Keeping things the same.  Changing things.  So convinced that you will do anything to get God's way in things.  At least, how you see God's way.  And you may -- or may not -- be right.

But I give full credit to the belief that you are right.

And it still does not justify destroying someone in the name of Jesus.

Conservatives might even tell someone they are not a true Christian.

Liberals may even look down their noses and point out that they wish you had a better head and heart like they do.  But they are better off without you.

You cannot do un-Jesus things in the name of Jesus. 

Disagree.  Part ways in love.  Remain in fellowship if possible.  

I have talked to a lot of people damaged by spiritual murder in the name of Jesus.

I have seen it.

We have to do better.

# posted by Steve @ 5:00 AM 0 comments

 Americans like to vote.  We think that the majority should rule.  And even tho every church I know denies it, we tend to let our churches reflect our culture.  But faith communities are not democracies.  Never have been.  

Look how most churches select elders.  We nominate and then we vote.  I am not saying that is all bad, but it is reflective of our culture.  My point is not going to be about selecting elders.  It is about letting the people decide what is best.  And I get that individuals have to decide what they believe God wants them to do.  But churches cannot decide important matters based on what they think the majority want.

"If we change thus and so, then I think many of our people would leave.  Better leave it alone."

"If we do not change thus and so, then I think many of our people will leave.  Better change it."

People do not always know what is best for them.  That is why churches are not democracies.  Maybe we are a monarchy.  God is King.  

Elders have to know Scripture.  Life experience helps them know how to apply truth into lives.  But it will not always be popular.  It may not be what most of the people want.  But the job of leaders is not to please people.  It is to lead people to follow Jesus.  It is to lead people to heaven.

Aaron gets it.

His brother Moses was off getting the ten commandments.  God's people wanted gods to go before them.  They were unhappy with Moses.  Impatient.  Wanting a better way.  Badgering Aaron.  Pressure.  Rebellion.  

And Aaron caved.  Gave the people what they wanted.  Popular leader.  

But he was wrong.  I don't know what would have happened if Aaron had stood against the will of the people.  I do know what happened when he listened to them.  

Death.  

Scripture is full of stories and examples of what goes wrong when the people are in charge.

But that was then and this is now.

I am sure we today are smarter.  And surely God wants the church to be run just like our country.  We know best.

Except we don't.  Never have and never will.

So we need leaders who will follow God and not us.  

Whether we like it or not.

# posted by Steve @ 5:00 AM 0 comments

 It does happen.  Elders, preachers, their wives.  Even their kids sometimes.  They get their feelings hurt.  You need thick skin to be a spiritual leader.  It is hard.  Most people never know how many hours you spend trying to help people.  Investing in lives.  Late nights.  Emotional investment.  Tears shed.  And that is just for the real spiritual leaders, not just the "go to meetings" leaders.

You give solid, practical, truthful advice.  And the person you are trying to help gets mad.  Or they leave.  Or they lie about you.  

They get personal.  They bring up your faults.  Or if they know about it, they bring up your past.  It hurts.  Because leaders have feelings too.  

So how do you handle the hurt feelings?

Here are a few suggestions.

They are rebelling against God, not just you.  When you have to confront someone over their life choices, or when they demand acceptance of sin choices, you have to remember it is not personal.   They are refusing to submit to God, not you.  

Stand on Scripture.  All of our leadership advice has to be grounded in Scripture.  So when they yell or get angry, I just point out that we are talking about the Bible.  So be mad at God, not the messenger.  

It is not your job to make everyone happy.  

People sometimes leave no matter what.

Some are going to live the way they want.

Some people do not react well because they are fighting a war within themselves.  Be patient.  Be loving.  Be there.  Sometimes they do in fact surrender to God and repent.

You cannot save everyone.  That is not even your job.

I find it helpful to remember that God -- and sometimes His leaders -- much have been really frustrated with me sometimes.  And I wanted to do better.

This is a hard one, but I have found it true.  When you have seen someone at their worst, when you have waded into the blood, mud, and tears of their life, when you have lived thru the worst experience of their life... You are a living rememder of that time.  They love you, they appreciate you, they will always be grateful.  And they will not always want to be reminded.

Spiritual leadership is hard.  Abraham, Moses, David, Peter, Paul.  They all get it.  They understood rejection and rebellion.  They got their feelings hurt.  They cried.  And they kept following Jesus.  They kept pointing people to Jesus.  And they never gave up.  

You shouldn't either.

Because sometimes they listen.  They respond.  They repent.  They remain faithful.

# posted by Steve @ 6:43 AM 0 comments

 Satan is not all powerful.  And I would argue he is very much a creature of habit.  He uses the same arguments over and over when trying to pull us away from God.  Maybe because they work, or maybe because it is the only way he knows to operate.

He is the father of lies and he lies about the Father.  He lies about what the Father says.

Read the temptation account in the first few verses of Genesis 3 and you will see the three lies Satan uses against God and what God says.

First, "did God really say...".  Try to convince people God did not say what he did.  You hear that today.  "Well, that verse does not mean what it says."  "That was just for people a long time ago."  Or, "that does not apply to this culture."  People trying to convince you God did not mean what He said.

Second, there will be no consequences for not obeying God's commands.  Satan told them they would not die.  Same thing you hear today.  "There really is no hell."  "No one is going to be lost."  "I doesn't matter what you do."  

Third:  You can be like God.  You can decide what is true and right.  Anything that doesn't sound like you think God should be must be wrong.  If you feel it in your heart, it is right.  

You get the point.  

If you don't like it, it must not be true.  

Except you are not God and niether am I.

There will be consequences to disobeying God.

And if God said it, it is true.

# posted by Steve @ 5:00 AM 1 comments

 It really is important to be part of a community of faith.  The Christian life is to be done with other believers.  You need the encouragement you recieve from those walking on the same road.  And you encourage others.  It is essential to have a spiritual family that will walk beside you when things get tough.  That will pray and speak truth into your life. 

Community worship is important. Singing praises, doing communion together, and hearing a word from Scripture.  Praying together.  It is important to remember you are not alone.  And you get inspired to love God and your neighbor.  You will be encouraged to do good.

Your church is your community of faith.  But I hope your church is bigger than your Church.  

Our church is the people we do life with.  We are blessed that our physical family is part of our church.  We have been in a spiritual small group for years with couples that worship in different assemblies on Sunday.  We have lots of people in lots of different Churches that we do life with, including many where we are "members" at Hillcrest.

So it is important to be with -- and do life with -- your church/community/family.

But we may emphasize Church way too much.  By Church, I mean that structured organization you are a member of.  

Strange since the concept of "placing memership" is not in the Bible. 

If not careful, all your ministry will be done thru Church programs.  

Your giving will be done only thru Church budgets.

And Church can get really exclusive.  There are Churches that place heavy emphasis on where you are a member.  Drop you from the mailing list if you go elsewhere.  Measure the numbers.  

Maybe I feel this way because I sorta think I am a member of several places.  Hillcrest obviously.  Winters because I have preached off and on there so many times.  Still have a lot of our church at Southern Hills Church.  And a lot of our church at Remington Ridge, Oldham, Beltway, the Well, and Highway 36.  One of my elders is actually an elder at University.  And the Hills in Fort Worth where my kids go. 

And maybe all of this is because I teach, preach, and do funerals at lots of different Churches all over Abilene.  Being a traverling preacher makes me feel like my church is in Caribou Maine.  And South Lake Tahoe.  And Michigan and Kansas.  All over Texas.  Cuba.  Malawi.  

You get the idea.  

We Chrisitans are church.  And we do church.  We need to do it together.  We need to worship together.  So to be clear, I am not opposed to membership in a Church.  

But be careful that you do not confuse Church with church.  They are not the same.

# posted by Steve @ 5:00 AM 0 comments